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so I just found out my husband has been working going to the gym most like his school and may get another job because of bills. my oldest told him I was trying to apply for jobs but no one called and he told her to tell me I should apply for verizon with the wireless company. worst part is my oldest told me hes learning how to dance so when he goes to party’s and stuff. supposedly he already knows how but when I told him to learn so he could dance with me he never did or would. 🙁 :'( I feel so depressed. ugh
Hey @aamls , dont be depressed dear. You never know why he’s learning to dance. This might be a hobby class to get his mind off you and your situation. I have been telling you to join one. And he dis the same. Don’t take this personally. He is enjoying his life and you should enjoy yours. He’ll be more attrated to you when you are at a happy place in your life and that too without him.
He indirectly helped you in finding job. He is actually concerned about you. Dont take all his actions personally. And try to ignore his activities and focus on yours.@divjun thanks its hard not to be. 🙁 well thats what my oldest told me and hes not going to school for it hes learning at home from youtube. 🙁 its for that because I’ve heard he dance with someone at the party. :'( ugh this is so painful. he may be more attracted to me if im happy but how can I be happy when he does things like this. ugh. Im not sure if he was trying to help me in finding a job but I know he knows now im looking and apparently he knows that im trying in some ways (changing or becoming a better me) the same way he knows im losing weight because he sees me ect. concern about me would be great I think he feels sorry for me. 🙁 its hard not to take his actions not personally. :-/ I will try to ignore his but its very hard. 🙁
okay update on what I’ve heard. ugh im not happy with this at all. let me know what you guys think. ok so you guys already heard about the dancing part. well my oldest also told me that they saw me threw the window the other day even when I hide. :-/ so if he knows im at the window why does he keep looking up at those times? is it bad that he knows im at the window, I didnt think he knew. now he knows I probably miss him. :-/ do you think thats why he looks up? why do ya think he looks up? ugh ok my youngest told me that my husband said to her that if she wanted to go to chucky cheese with some friends that were girls. hmmm I dont like this at all. 🙁 also that either my oldest uses his laptop unless hes on it. when hes not on the laptop hes on his phone texting or talking to someone on the phone. 🙁 ugh anyways my youngest also said that she heard him say I love you when he hung up with someone but doesnt know who it was. 🙁 Im starting to get very concern here. so anyways I was talking to my mother in law earlier today and she told me that it was funny because it was like I called him with my thoughts and like he could hear everything I was saying, heres why. my husband called his mothers phone. (it pisses me off that he cant call me, but what ever.) and he starts talking to her. he starts asking how the kids are doing and she says fine he asked how his sister was doing she said fine and I guess how she was doing and she said fine everyone is fine. (he didnt ask about me) 🙁 well anyways then they start talking about stuff. the call hangs up and he calls back. my youngest comes in the room and says whos that. my mother in law says your dad. so my youngest gets the phone and starts talking to him. then my youngest told him we have no food only corn flakes and that it has no sugar ect, lol. I hear her saying Idk I dont check her phone. then asks mommy do you talk (she asked with my brother, remember we dont talk) and I said shhh (my mother in law on the back round said NO, I made a face to her and said shh and she said sorry. (I dont want my husband to know my life anymore, the other day he asked if I talked to my mom, and now hes asking if im talking to my brother.) anyways my youngest says no I said no and then says idk. lol then he told her he had to go and didnt stay long on the phone. later I go and give my kids cereal to eat and after they were done I turned off the lights so they can go to bed. I turned everything off. well I saw like a light in the hall way turning on but I was trying to put my kids to sleep and I thought it was my sister in law or mother in law going to the bathroom or what not. a little while later I get a text. the text was from guess who. yup him. well the text said I left food downstairs on the table for the kids. ugh so I immediately get up and go downstairs. yup stuff on the table. (he brought a lot of junk food is all, not even real food, I know at least he brought something) anyways I never text back. (im angry at the fact that he keeps showing up without saying anything, thinking he can come and go as he pleases.) he doesnt live here to be able to do this and he doesnt want me around where he lives. so with all of this said I have a few questions. !. why is he acting this way? 2. why does he come in and not call or let someone know hes coming? (he may have heard me screaming at the kids to go to bed) why did he come up for? 3. why does he care if my brother and I are talking when he doesnt even want to be with me? 4. why when he called he didnt ask for me? I really dont think he misses me if he keeps acting this way. is he trying to avoid me by coming in and leaving fast. what is up with him? what is his problem? so what do ya think of this whole thing? i cant believe hes done this 3 times already like yesterday morning when he called and I didnt answer he came got the shirt and left. this morning he came and announced himself and tonight he came again and left. ugh anyone please help what is he doing and why is he doing this? ugh anyone please? thanks ugh 🙁 btw was it good that I didnt text back after he sent that text to me?
i think he wants to be around you. he probably doesnt ask about you cause he knows. i think not texting back was the best thing. sucks about your situation… how does he get in? does he still have a key? ask for it back maybe? i dunno honestly.. he shouldnt do what hes doing and you dont really have a way of stopping it… as far as i can see. maybe getting the key (if he has one) off him might make him realise whats going on. and maybe the dancing is for you? maybe hes trying to make himself better, for you? do you think thats possible?
would you mind helping me out again?
Don’t worry too much about it. The only reason he comes around unannounced is because he wants to see you – otherwise he would just stay far away. He is clearly very confused. Stop going over to the window to look out – i’m sure your children have already told him how much you miss him.
I agree with @cassie. You should accept that he is not with you and he can do anything he wants.
you can only control yourself.
you should be having fun out there. Its all good. Everything is fine. Don’t pay attention to what he’s doing.
and stop going to the window.@otherone how do you know he wants to be around me? what are the signs? what does he know about me? crap I think hes coming and is on his way, ugh. :-/ called his mother again. and not me or let me know anything. anyways yes he has a key. its his moms apartment so asking for the key back wont happen. the dancing I dont think its for me I think its for his convenience. I wish though. I wish he’s trying to get better for me but its just wishful thinking. 🙁 what do you guys think of him coming? ugh
@cassie thanks what makes you think he wants to see me? it makes no sense. the confused part probably but hes still acting weird. also he just called to let his mom know hes coming but didnt say anything to me, however I just heard it through the door no one told me anything. ugh that aint good if my kids told him that :-/ yeah I was thinking the same about the window thing its just hard. what do you think of him coming over? i dont want to see him I feel awkward being next to him. 🙁
@divjun thanks yeah I know I cant control him and its so hard. 🙁 I am trying to focus on me but with him popping up every so often from every corner when he feels like it makes it ten times harder on me. ugh. and the window thing I may stop it. I think Im starting to let it go and let it be. Im thinking of leaving before he gets here as to not run into him. hmm:-/ im feeling awkward being around him. 🙁
Yeah. You can go for a walk. But you have to face him sometime. It would be better if you be normal. Dont react if he’s coming or not. Do whatever you were doing.
your right I just hate that he thinks he can do whatever he wants when he wants to and he keeps putting me in very awkward situations. this sucks. 🙁 then every time hes around or comes over I get anxious and what not. ugh 🙁 how can I handle this. I just dont want him to try to talk to me about anything. ugh 🙁 idk if im even getting him back and the way I feel now I dont want him next to me. I actually feel grossed out and like pushing him away at the same time I feel nervous and such. idk what should I do.
Just be normal and try to keep yourself busy.
you can only do this. I am always with you for supporting you. Good luck 🙂thanks divjun this is very hard. I appreciate it. 🙂 idk what would of been of me without this site. 🙂 i may go or I may stay but I will try my hardest to avoid him, however he needs to give me the money today, ugh, if only he could give it to my youngest to bring to me or hmm I think I should leave. I should finish my exercises shower and leave then it’ll make him wonder where im at and stuff not that he would care or anything. :-/ and thats if he doesnt make it here before I leave, ugh 🙁
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