I think I've lost my husband! any advise

[Nick]

Firstly you need to take control of your self, take control of these emotions and then you will be a lot stronger to make more logical decisions. I Hate emotions sometimes always feels like I am being controlled which I hate.

Talking to his mom about bills and stuff is more natural instinct. He wants to talk to someone who is more stable and in control I feel which in a way a mothers touch is always good for that.

I always feel its best to get some things out of your system, crying is fine I feel. I cried for nights and nights then it slowly faded. Now I sometimes just get sad but I it never gets to me any more. I continue on with my life, get things done and have a good time. She is always the first thing I think of when I wake up, always a bit depressing that. Most of the day she is on my mind but I don’t let it get to me.

[aamls]

I’ve been trying to control my issues for a while. I been doing good and then i break again. for some reason I keep doing better and then I break again all of a sudden. this is the hardest thing I been going through as I was also face with losing my father a few months back (actually 2 weeks before my husband left me) I will keep trying to fight myself this is really hard. 🙁 talking to his moms about bills, lol shes very irresponsible when it comes to them lol he was probably trying to vent and since she was probably complaining about hers he started telling her about his. and some of them involved me and it hurts that he told her and not me. ugh. its funny because sometimes i cry but then stop a few mins later and sometimes it can last for a little while and then I get my composure back then it repeats itself. I hate this. I feel like I may be healing a tiny bit with time but it still hurts really bad. I hate this, its the worse feeling ever. I just need and want him back. hes not looking for me at all. could he still be mad at me or do you think hes just done. this is painful and I really miss him so much. ugh how can I even start false friendship when he doesnt even contact me or anything? I think his defenses may still be up. like I said hes nice but lately has been stern. and he keeps looking up to the window to see if im looking down. why does he do this? especially if he doesnt want to be with me? could it also be that hes trying to see if I still miss him or what? and why would he care if I did when he doesnt want me? thanks

[divjun]

If he wouldn’t miss you then why would he look to the window all the time?
You’re mind is noticing and telling to believe only the negative side of all the things. You should stay positive. He was looking for YOU.
Why do you always look through the window when he’s leaving? Because you miss him badly!!! And why would he look to the window? Because he miss you.. its all good.. I told you earlier also it will take him time to back to you. But he will come. If he wanted to leave you or divorce you, he would have done this months ago.
You’re doing great but don’t let your brain destroy you. Thats why its necessary to keep yourself busy. Good luck 🙂

[aamls]

thanks divjun. I like the way you think, its just that its so hard to believe that he actually misses me you know. this is so hard. I wish someone would tell me the magic secret to getting him back. ugh. I just miss him so much that it seems so close to impossible to get him back or for him to return. 🙁

[cassie]

Yeah, unfortunately there is no magic secret. He doesn’t even know himself what he wants you to do. There is no doubt that he misses you so you really shouldnt think too much about that. If you feel now that you’re already healing a little bit from all the pain – that’s really good! He is probably still angry with you and still has his defenses up so you need to give him more time! When you see him, be nice to him!

[Nick]

The fact that he is looking up at your window is a really good sign. Indicates that you are on his mind for sure. Let that little seed do its thing and grow.

There isn’t really a magic secret except time which is the best bet. Which is just annoying and a literally a pain.

[aamls]

thanks @cassie and @Nick. I wish there was. :'( 🙁 lol. I sure hope he does miss me. :-/ some days are better then others for me but Im trying to hang in there. I wish his defenses drop already lol so I could get closer to him. :-/ I always try to be nice to him, when he knocked on my bedroom door this morning he caught me of guard. I was still asleep. man when I saw him there all I wanted to do was jump in his arms. :'( I hope im on his mind, his words and actions sure make it seem like im not. (maybe its just a front of his to hide his feelings?) yes time is very annoying and painful, lol. wish me luck, I feel really low today but im trying to keep myself busy by studying my book. ugh thanks guys 😀

[divjun]

I can understand your pain. And I know its hard. But do uou have anyother option? Do you want to beg him to come back to you? Do you want to tell him how much you love him or regret doing all the mistakes? I think not.! So just go with the flow. You’re doing great 🙂

[aamls]

thanks divjun i know and thats why im here writing everything else so I wont make those mistakes as much as I want to. 🙁 I miss him so much. :-/ I guess hope is whats keeping me going. 🙁

[clear]

Let your feelings out here on the forum, don’t engage any contact with him, just let him come to you! You’re doing great aamls! Just keep up the good work, I’m sure he still misses you as well so one step at a time!

[cassie]

Yeah, do everything you can to stay busy – it will hopefully take your mind off him!

[aamls]

@clear thanks. 🙂 yes I will keep doing so in order to not drive myself crazy. im trying not to have contact with him unless he contacts me like he did this morning after he left by text. I hope im doing good, lol I really miss him. 🙁 I hope he does too. 🙁 and I hate the one step at a time, lol 🙁

[aamls]

@cassie thanks im trying but its very hard. 🙁

[cassie]

I know it is 🙁 He’ll contact you again soon.

[aamls]

I hope so 🙁 he text me this morning annd this is how it went. 🙁 ugh lol (keep in mind he probably thought I was ignoring him when in reality I have my phone on vibrate and didnt hear the text) ok him:hey what was the house address where we had verizon then I saw the message like 20 mins later and I gave him the address. him: to late got already. thanks Me:ok saw message late. yw. he didnt text after that anymore. 🙁 I really wish he’d come back I miss him so much. ugh 🙁 lol :-/ thanks cassie

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