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oh I see lol. yeah we do because of the kids and things we have in common. I wish I knew what I could do to change the tables. :-/ but I dont. I wish I knew he was still attracted to me because it sure doesnt feel this way. :-/ hes probably still angry and has his defenses up. how do I get him to bring them down? is it with time? idk im very confused. :-/
If you feel his defences are up they probably are. Yes it tends to be a time thing I feel. I don’t think you could do anything to make him bring them down.
You will be on his mind for sure, I am sure there will be a lot of things that bring up memories.
oh wow this sucks. 🙁 so I have to let time heal him? I hope im on his mind :-/ sometimes I feel him being ok and then he turns all of all sudden like as we were texting just now. ugh. 🙁
Aamls, I’ve made a new post “starting to move on”, I know I haven’t been on in abit, would you mind reading and replying?
@Aaron4 sure I’ll check it out. missed talking to an old friend lol. so what do you think of my life till now lol. its a mess, lol
@Nick thanks for your words. we were texting earlier and he stop texting all together and he didnt tell me what he was going to say. ugh lol I’ll write it out so you can give me your opinion on it if u dont mind. btw I told him to keep the kids today so I wouldnt have to see him lol and so I can sleep in lol. and this way he can have more time with them and I dont have to hear wheres daddy I miss daddy daddy this daddy that ugh. lol. so this was it: me:hey wanna keep the kids tonight as well. him: yes why not but i have to go to the mma at 7:30 him again: you know what they are more important i’ll keep them. me: bring them to me and then pick them up just feed them before they come lol dont have much here. him: this is funny you wont believe what (my youngest name) asked me out of the blue. Me: what him: I see no its ok I’ll figure it out. Me: would you like to do that me again: yeah bring them and come back for them me again in spanish: what did (our youngest name) tell you. him: I just wont go to mma or maybe I will let you know me: yes go to the gym and then come back and get them me agin:its alright then. he never replied. what do you think? why didnt he tell me what he was going to say about my youngest and stop texting and didnt text much? ugh thanks
Aamls, if you feel like medication would help your depression, you should try to get it. But sometimes it is really hard to think you will have to take this medicine forever. So, I would suggest doing natural depression remedies such as exercise and sunshine. You might want to look into your Vitamin D levels as well and maybe try a supplement. Try those first, especially if you are worried about insurance. Also, if you are still married, I would try to stay on your husband insurance as long as possible. I think that is terrible he is trying to get you off of it.
I know that you love your husband and your kids. Being a happy family together is best for everyone in my opinion. But you CAN have a full and good life without him. I know that is hard to hear when ALL you want in the whole world is to have him back. You have been very generous here on the boards, so I know that you have lots of good qualities.
@Sunshine11 thanks for your kind words. my husband wouldnt notice much of anything and would be mean. he said I wouldnt do anything and would say I was like a little kid. He made me feel so bad and low and then when I broke after 2 weeks after my father passed away he left me and I’ve lost everyone and everything. this is just me, I like trying to help anyone and everyone when I can or if I can. funny thing is you can go through my postings and see that he once called his mom and told him that I have a good heart blah blah blah but nothing. I would take his shoes off when he came from work and gave him massages. I would do things for him that hurts me so much because I feel like he took me for granted. I feel so bad that he hurt me so bad emotionally that it lead me to do something I shouldn’t of. this is so painful. he told me the day my father was a month passed away and the day before my birthday that he had the papers. you should read my whole story. its very painful. :'( I agree with you about being together as a family, I pray every night asking God to bring him back. this is so hard. I agree I can have a good life with out him but after so long of being together I just want him back. 🙁 yes I’ll try to look into the vitamin issue and actually im on a mission to lose weight so Im already exercising and I do it outside. lol but my depression issues is from a long time ago. I also suffer from a lot of other things as well. Im going to try to stay on it but he wants me to get government help and I dont find it fair. this is just so hard in a lot of ways. ugh I really wish I could get him back. 🙁 thanks so much for your words. they made me smile. 🙂
ugh. he has my kids and none has bother to call or text me. 🙁 I guess none of them miss me at all. 🙁 I guess my kids are happy with him with out me. 🙁 I feel so alone. :'( why cant I get him back? ugh, and why have none bother to call or text me? 🙁
Hey @aamls, I have read all your posts. You’re thinking way too much. Kids are with their dad and are enjoying their time. It has nothing to do with you. God is always listening to your prayers and will do which is good for you. We all are here to support you. You are not alone. 🙂
@divjun thanks. he just came this morning and im here crying like a baby. :'(:-( he knocked on my bedroom door hard and woke me up. he started asking me about the cable and internet stuff. I told him it was downstairs. he asked for the remote and I told him I didnt know. he said ok. I told him your turning it in and he said yeah that he was gonna send it in. he was talking stern idk I didnt like it he never would talk this way to me. anyways he told my oldest to say hi to me(i didnt know my oldest was here) I said why didnt you come and say hi to me and all she did was shred her shoulders up like idk or dont care. my husband said something about my oldest uniform. anyways before he left he told me to pick the kids up today. I said why and he just said because he has something to do. I said oh. he said my name again and said is it because you dont have gas that you cant pick them up? I said dont worry about it. so he left outside and he looked up the window twice. I hate that he keeps trying to catch me at the window. why does he keep looking at the window for? also why does he keep looking at the window when he doesnt want to be with me? I miss him so much, I cant deal with this pain anymore. Im so hurt, its like im healing and the wound re opens every time hes around. this is very painful I dont know how to deal with the pain. 🙁 what do you and every one else thinks? ugh I hate this so much. I also hate that my oldest didnt care to say hi to me. 🙁 I hate all this pain. :'( anyone? thanks
I would say the kids don’t really know what to do, this type of thing can be very stressful on them. I know it was when my parents almost split. 6 months of hell that was. I my self took my mom’s side probably because we both stayed in the house and my dad moved to his parents house so I always saw my mom upset.
There was no real reason why I took my moms side, I loved them both but I must of just pinned it all on my dad for some reason.
yeah I think my oldest was blaming me for everything. what do you think of the way he acted this morning? my chest hurts from all this pain I hate it. ugh thanks @Nick for you response. my kids are like their dad in holding it in. ugh lol
Im so down and depressed right now idk what to do. all I wanna do is cry and this is the least thing I wanna do. I hate that I miss him so much and that I cant have him back. all I do is feel a lot of pain. I feel like I cant take it anymore. I also feel like he thinks he has control since he comes when he wants. he talks to his mother about things like bills and such that he doesnt discuss with me. idk what to do or think anymore. I feel like letting him go even if thats the least thing I wanna do. 🙁 anyone?
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