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@tarbox thanks @cassie and @divjun. so I went to his job and of course I dressed up lol. well im not sure if this was a good thing or not but maybe mutual. so he was in the back of his department but he was called to the deli dept which is next to his dept. so then we see him come out and he goes to his manager and didnt see us till a few minutes later. he signal to me to go out but I kinda stayed behind on purpose. lol so then a few minutes later he calls me, I hesitated to get the phone but then I thought to myself he is here and already saw me lol so I got the phone. he tells me didnt you see me when I signal you to meet me outside. I said uh yeah were going right now. he said meet me outside by the atm. I said ok. I took a few more minutes to get there to give time. then we show up outside. then hes by the machine getting the money for me. hes talking to the kids and saying hi to them ect. then we start talking. he was saying how inside the store how the fans to the department broke and they had to pull everything of the selves. and how he was there since 5am and it was almost 5pm. I told him it sucks and that he looked sick. I asked him if he was alright. (he looked very tired) and he said yeah hes fine. then he asked me how I was doing and I said yeah im good or fine cant remember. lol I was telling him about how his mom keeps complaining about the bills and now hair issues lol and he said he should pull out money to give her, but he didnt, I told him I was thinking of helping her but wasnt sure as I dont have a job atm. also he told me about how much he payed in car insurance and why it was that much ect. I was telling him how my car is all messed up and he told me yeah he was gonna have to take a look at the window and maybe look into why my starter is having issues. he told me he may need to borrow my car to move the stuff from the storage so we could save that money. (he keeps taking everything that we have together and getting rid of it little by little. ugh) and I asked him what will we do with the stuff and he said we’ll throw it away. I told him we need to do our daughters hair and when he was looking I knida touched his fingers. I also kinda touched his hand when he was giving me the money and for a few seconds we kinda held or had our fingers wrapped with eachother. 🙂 I did notice he kept walking away from me, lol, ugh but i kinda either fallow or let him move, so he wouldnt know. while he was giving me the money i had mention maybe we could hangout some time and catch up, he kinda nodded and kinda said yeah but since i didnt get a for sure I mentioned it again. but this time when I mentioned it my oldest open her big stupid mouth lol.she said why do you need to hang out. ugh I said to catch up as friends. he didnt say anything lol. then we started saying our good byes. 🙁 lol he hugged and gave the kids a kiss and hugged and then left. he told me to take care or stay safe, idk. I must mention I almost felt his forehead but didnt want to make him feel uncomfortable. also he mentioned to me if i applied for food stamps, :-/ ugh I said yeah and they declined me I have to reapply and he said yeah your gonna need them. I said yeah and that way I can help you out to and he said no its okay, but I said yeah I wanna help you and he may have stayed quiet. im not sure. did I do good or bad? this kinda gave me the impression that either he wants to kinda be friends or he aint getting back together with me at all. ugh idk what to think of all of this. he told the kids that he was thinking of taking them with him but that what happend with the coolers he was still there and couldnt leave till they had everything done. they really did have a lot of people there working. do I have any hope at all. Im so scared because of what he told my oldest that we arent getting back together again and that hes trying to play it cool and be friendly but if he has to put a stop or say something he wouldnt hesitate in a heart beat to say or do so. ugh I feel like I have no hope. what are yas thoughts on this? thanks ya 🙂 also I think he may get the kids tomorrow but am not sure we shall see. ugh lol
I feel so bad.Listen he is absolutely not over you. You have children together. I agree he was acting shady with meeting at the gym and what not but you have to realize this is just one day out of the 365 days of the year. No offense …but get over it! I mean that in the utter most respect! The fact that he told his mommy that the co worker was checking you out straight up shows how jealous he is. If you started talking to someone else he’d probably have a kanipshion if thats the way he reacted to a co worker looking at you! What I would do…I would act just as shady. Next time you call to talk to your kids if he doesn’t pick up, leave a voicemail!!! Say “hey I wanna speak to the girls call me bye” that’s all. If you keep calling like you did in this scenario it doesn’t look good and it seems desperate. It seems as though you are trying to use the kids as an excuse to hear his voice(even if your not). Just cool down, these kinds of things are going to happen and everything happens for a reason. Don’t go calling him for any other reason other than your children. Also start buying new clothes or get a new hair style. Start looking your best and join a new activity or something…and brag about all the people and fun your having! The worst revenge is happiness and if he keeps acting like such an a**hole to you…you need to push back and not make acceptions just cuz you had relations with him. DO NOT LET HIM WALK ALL OVER YOU! You definitely don’t want to push him away! So steer clear and wait for him to contact you first unless absolutely necassary for the childrens sake. Keep us posted
@hopelessromantic thanks for the reply. 🙂 at first i had no clue what you were referring to, lol, then i started realizing it was about last weeks situation. I posted above about today. and I made no contact with that meat cutter today. lol. I did see him and turned around, lol. on the other hand what do you think about my latest posting?
Oh boy didn’t realize that was the old thread LOL. About this weeks encounter. BAD YOU! lol you shouldn’t have asked twice to hang out in the same sitting! Especially not in his cranky mood of working since 5am. Just limit the talking when you see him and don’t give him the slightest bit of satisfaction when it comes to you secretly missing him. About the stuff in the storage. Next time he calls you about the kids ask him when he’s gunna look at your car and then ask about the stuff in the storage. I think it’s a really good idea if you try to go with him to get the stuff out of storage and help. Get someone to watch the kids for a little? It may help you bond and he is using your car! Just tell him its your stuff too and you want to make sure nothing of value is being tossed? What do you think and it gives you alone time with him…
@helplessRomantic thanks for the reply. its ok lol, but thanks for your input on lastweeks as well. 🙂 yeah after you wrote that I started thinking if it was the right move to say it twice I just wasnt sure he heard me and I want to put it out there lol. ugh he hasnt called or text yesterday at all or after the encounter. 🙁 or this morning either. I just miss him more and more. this morning I woke up with a lot of pain like if this was a nightmare but it was reality. ugh this is very painful. 🙁 so do you think he sense me missing him? ugh.. I like the idea of being alone with him but dont know if its a good idea as im not sure what he’ll say to me and stuff. his defenses I can tell are way up. ugh. I really miss him so much and feel like im never getting him back. I never stated when we should hangout just that we should hangout sometime, so I hope this wasnt as bad. lol ugh i miss him so much. I wish he’d miss me to and that he’d wanna go back with me. yes I need to go to the storage for that same reason. Also I forgot to mention that he said he may need to get a second job but that he was gonna have to look at his debts and then see if he was going to do it. they told him that they were looking for someone again in one of his old jobs he told me. lets see what happens. I think him working another job would keep him more busy so he wouldnt do things he shouldnt but it’ll also give him more money to be able to gothrough with the divorce. 🙁 idk what to do or think. ugh. anyone? @cassie @divjun anyone else? thanks
so @cassie and @divjun what do ya think about what happen yesterday and about what I said today. btw in my sd card this morning I found all my pictures and a lot of memories came flooding through with those pictures. I really miss him so much. how could he just up and leave like that. this morning I woke up very sad and depressed. I felt it was a dream that he had left until reality slapped me in the face again. then also he never called or text yesterday or this morning. ugh. did I do good or did I do bad with yesterday. 🙁 I feel down today, thanks
Hey, you did great. Its okay you asked him to hangout. Now he knows that you want to spend time with him so dont say that again. If he’ll feel comfortable, he’ll ask you. And you dont need to hold back anything. Do whatever makes you happy. You wanted to say that to him, you said it. Its all cool. But yes, don’t do that again. It might push him away. I think he knows that you’re interested in spending rime with him and thats why he isn’t contacting you more. I am not sure. He might be busy or something else. Idk. Just wait and don’t contact him without any purpose. You did great. 🙂
are you sure I did great? lol I surely dont feel like it, lol. did I screw up by saying that to him. If I see him again or talk to him by any chance Im not saying it again, i think It’ll make me look “needy” lol. ugh I feel like I screwed up. and hopefully he is busy and thats the reason. ugh. I really miss him so much and want him back. I feel like I have no hope in getting him back at all. I have no idea what im doing. ugh. do you think Im ever gonna get him back? ugh 🙁 and no I dont contact him im still kinda doing no contact. idk.
I think you ll surely get him back but it will take time. I am saying this because you both were together for 12 years. No damn person can take your place in his life. So you need to be patient. And yes you did great. Don’t say something like that to him ever again. You told him that you wanted to hang out with him and now he knows that you’re not ignoring him. So its okay. Good luck and dont be so depressed. Keep yourself busy. And to be honest, you’re not doing NC properly because your not working on yourself. You’re still the same as you were when you broke up. Stop worrying. I know its hard but its for your own good.
omg he called from his job phone but hung up quick and didnt leave a message. I didnt pick up. he could have been calling about the kids though. ugh :-/ I really miss him so much. so i basically screwed up. ugh. why am I not doing no contact right as I am bettering myself and am trying to do even more stuff for myself I only talk about the kids and their stuff and the stuff we have in common that we own together. hopefully we can still get back together even if it takes longer. as long as I have him back its all that really matters to me. 🙂 btw I said hangout as friends and also am I guess without trying sending him mix signals as well. wow. what do you think?
hey you did well !
did you get that job?
I am sure you will distract your attention if you have a job,
and his second job is nothing to do with divorce I think, he has kids so probably the second job is for them, and he may feel financial pressure now ,if you have a job maybe he will be happy for u…and you and him have something to talk except for kids…
I had a panic attack either when I wake up in the morning..that sucks…
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