I really don’t have a chance now

[Oshi]

@tg7188:
Thanks, you too! I know how you feel, I don’t sleep well, have nightmares, meeting with my friends but still feel lonely somtimes, I’ve lost 2kg in 2 weeks!

@kaila:
Thanks for the advice.
I’m not taking care of my health that’s why I decided that it’s not worth it anymore.
I understand that he needs some time but I already started the NC and then we arranged a meeting and things were going well as friends and now I started the NC again because I felt that I didn’t give him enough time, I know that I hurt his feelings so I wanted to write him a letter to apologize and tell him how much I appreciated all the things he’s done for me, it’s mostly so I can be at peace with myself and show him how I felt.

[tg7188]

@kaila

What’s kik? I briefly read up on your situation. What’s the status on it now?

@oshi

I’ve lost 9lbs total in 3 weeks. I took NyQuil last night bc I had an itchy throat, but mainly bc I wanted to sleep this depression off.

Makes me wonder how long does it take a guy to recover from being angry?

[Oshi]

@tg7188:

I’m asking myself the same question :\

Any progress on your situation?

[tg7188]

Hi Oshi,

I have good news! I broke the NC rule after 9 days. I woke up on day 10 and immediately started thinking about my last night with my ex, the night we fought. It’s like a light bulb went through my head and I could clearly see why he was upset and what I did wrong. All this time I was apologizing for the fight, but never recognized what exactly I said and did to make him give up on us. I couldnt believe what was racing through my mind. I knew instantly that I had to write him an email. I was very nervous being that I hadn’t completed NC for 30 days and it was only 9 days since our last texts. But, I took a chance anyway bc I couldn’t withold the information until the 30 day mark. I sent the email and within 30 min he wrote back saying he loved me! He also texted me too and said my letter made him emotional. So….hopefully things will progress. I haven’t spoken to him since 2 days ago, but that’s ok. I’m going to take things slow. After all, he loves me!!!!

[Oshi]

@tg7188:

I’m so happy for you!! 🙂
He could have said something else but chose to say that he loves you!
This is definitely a good sign, and yes you should take it slow for now.
Did he say anything else?

That is exactly the reason why I sent my ex the letter after 14 days of NC and didn’t wait more, because I realized things that I haven’t thought about before, about my behavior and how I made him feel during our relationship, so I woke up and thought that I must send him a letter explaining how I feel. In the letter I apologized for hurting him and explained it was wrong, told him that I respect his decision, told him how much I appreciate him, and how much the relationship meant for me, but I didn’t specifically write things about our fights because I wanted the letter to be light hearted, do you think it’s okay? and if I may ask, what did you write him?

He received my letter yesterday, but haven’t called or anything, yesterday I shared on my facebook a romantic song (I suppose he doesn’t know that song) and he was the first person to “like” it! (that was after he stopped liking things on my facebook) It made me happy for a bit, also during our relationship we always shared with each other romantic songs and every song reminded us of a time we spent together, I know that maybe i’m exaggerating it but it gives me hope.

[tg7188]

My email was rather long and I basically discussed my view point on the last night we spent with each other when we fought, but focused only on what I should’ve done and said differently. I then went on about our good times, zoning in on when I met his family and many of the stories they told me. I elaborated on all the qualities I love about him, focusing on all his strengths and why we compliment each other. I don’t think he really understood how much I loved him up until now. He didn’t say much in his email and text other then he loved me, that my letter was sweet, and it made him emotional. But that’s how he is in general, short texts. He’s not going to write back a novel. I’m happy with my response. Although we haven’t texted since, I’m not worried. This is completely normal. We are doing long distance so 3-4 days would typically go by without texting or calling. Besides, I need to give him time before I bombard him with wanting to see him.
As far as your ex, give him some time. Don’t freak out. Let him absorb your letter and give him some time to think. I think Men take longer to communicate. He’s probably wondering what he should say.

[scottieH]

In my experience, with the woman im trying to win back, im the one who is emotional and explanatory while she sends short, almost empty replies. (Well when she did reply). Is she lost forever?

[tg7188]

I’ve learned to not send too many long emotional texts bc it overwhelms my guy, at least that’s how I think he feels. One time I kept going on and on trying to get my point across that he told me I was too intense for him. Often times, being emotional can come off needy. In my email that I sent him, I didn’t beg for him back or apologize excessively. I didn’t want to come off as needy. I just focused on the issue at hand and broke it down in ways that I was able to show him that I acknowledged how I messed up and what I should’ve done instead to correct it. Simply saying I’m sorry didnt work bc I never addressed the issue.

[scottieH]

We could be twins. Lol. I think when it comes time to end NC and the letter, I simply will acknowledge that I made many mistakes and that I have changed, that I know exactly where I went wrong and that I have fixed it. She believes im clueless as to why she left me, naw. Shell be curious to find out why I think I messed up and what ive changed, in hopes of being able to say “haha, wrong” but when she realizes that ive done my homework and actually changed, maybe shell see me in a slightly different light?

[scottieH]

You got it down mostly I believe, admittance of wrong doing without justification and willingness to work on making sure the same issues dont come up again.

[Oshi]

@tg7188:

Thanks you’re right, I called him and we talked for about 30 minutes, he said that he received my letter and sent me a response letter! the letter should arrive tomorrow, also the conversation was flowing nice and I felt like he’s sending me mixed signals, but maybe that’s just me thinking too much and analyzing his behavior all the time..
Guess I have to wait for tomorrow to see, It’s just that I’m afraid that his letter might be a goodbye letter..

[tg7188]

Hi Oshi,

Any progress?

[Oshi]

@tg7188:

His letter hasn’t arrived yet, but he told me on the phone the other day that he already said most of the stuff from the letter, so I guess it’s just a formal letter.
Since then we’ve talked on the phone and messaging sometimes, he initiated a conversation once, sent me some photos I asked from the show we went to, we arranged a meeting but he couldn’t meet on that day because he was working late, he answers right after I call or text him, also he commented on my post on facebook – I posted a picture of a cake I made and his comment was “Amazing Cake!”, We’ve planned to meet up this week but he works all week in the evenings so he offered to meet in the morning but I work in the mornings, so I told him that I’d prefer in the evening and he said he’ll update me when he can.

I’m really confused, my friend says he’s just being friendly but I can feel the change in his voice and in the way he’s talking to me. He doesn’t have to meet me but I can see that he’s really trying and wanting to, I don’t know maybe this is just my imagination.

[Oshi]

@tg7188: What about you?

[tg7188]

@Oshi

I don’t think it’s in your imagination. He’s answering your calls and texts, that’s a good sign. And, more importantly, he’s willing to meet up. If he wasn’t interested, he’d blow you off.

As for me, well I don’t know. After my letter and his wonderful response, a week went by and I texted him. He responded right away. Then the next day I texted about making plans to see him (since we are doing long distance). He didn’t respond. Finally, I asked if he was ok. He said he was fine but that he didn’t like that I was acting like everything was all good between us. I told him that I know its not all good but that im trying to stay positive. He says, ok. Then I asked if he would consider my ideas (me going to visit him) and he said yes. Three days go by and I texted him bc I wanted to buy my plane ticket before they increased the price. He doesn’t get back to me. I asked him if he was upset and he texted back saying he’s ok and that he’s processing my texts and to give him some time. So now it’s just a waiting game. I’m trying to understand his behavior, it’s so confusing. I just hope that he will come through soon.

[Author]

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