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She said that she was miserable near the end of our relationship and would be again if we got back together. But that could be because I have been hanging around in the background and reminding her of things.
This is why you need to give each other space and get rid of the negativity that’s manifested over time. My ex who suffers with depression and anxiety is the same mate, she had given me so many red flags for 5 months but because I’d pulled away from her and stop being supportive as if become depressed myself be time the breakup happened it was a long time coming for her
Yes that’s exactly what happened to me. It was a long time coming for her but not so much for me.
She is strong willed and not stupid so I hope NC is having an effect on her too. I’m already thinking that it should go longer than 30 days.
Yes, maybe you should stay limited contact until she shows signs of regret for her decision.
Good communication is very important in a relationship! Don’t wait too long before you ask her if she’s willing to attend marriage counseling with you!
If you don’t make any efforts to save the marriage, she might think you don’t care about it..
She seemed pretty adamant that she does not want to get back together and that she is moving on with her life. But she also said that a small part of her regrets the separation so hopefully the seed of regret is already there.
If I bring up marriage counselling now I know she will turn it down. We both have had our fair share of counselors and they haven’t worked well. But, when the time is right, I will bring it up.
It’s been a week already! On Wednesday she spoke to me about the kids. She sent several messages concerning them then the conversation turned away from them so I ignored those last two messages, and sent one final message saying goodnight. I texted her yesterday, asking about the kids which was a short conversation.
It is not easy.
How often do you see the kids?
I’m assuming the counselors were individual for depression etc..
Don’t contact her too frequently, maybe once a week or even a little longer..
I haven’t seen the kids for a week. I am planning on seeing them next week.
Yes the counselors were individual. I found that they worked for a short period of time then lost their effectiveness. That is why I tried medication which did work.
Yeah the first time was she contacted me because one of the kids was sick and she updated me. She then told me that one of our other kids have come down with a fever. So a few days later I asked how he was and she sent a reply. I don’t plan on contacting her for a few more days. She knows that I care about our kids.
She just contacted me on facebook concerning plans for our public holiday next weekend. I am planning on staying at the house with the kids while she goes and stays at a friends. The next day all of us, including my family, are going to mcdonalds for our son’s birthday. She asked if it was OK for her to come along and I said that’s fine.
The weekend after our son and his friends will be going flip city for his birthday party and I said I would come too.
The messages kept on topic and did not get personal. Should I be worried that she is OK with going to stay at a friends place while I am there?
She has been talking to my mum. According to mum, my ex sounds tired, presumably from working and looking after the kids by herself.
I do feel for her but that is the effect I want for her; give her the breakup that she wanted.
No, don’t be worried that she will be staying with friends while you’re at the house with the kids. It seems like a good idea to avoid any awkwardness at this time.
I hope you all have a nice time at the birthday party.
Just be your polite self and have fun:)
I think it’s normal that she would be a little fatigued. It’s not easy working and looking after 3 young children on a daily basis. Yes, continue limited contact..
Curious as to exactly how long ago you moved out and approximately how often you visit the kids since you moved out.
I moved out sometime in October and rented a room in the same town as the kids. That lasted until March and for a lot of that time I was cold and angry towards her. Every tuesday and weekend I would see the kids. I then moved back in with my parents about 50 minutes away from the kids. I would see them every tuesday and every second weekend. The last time I saw them was the day before I started NC which was last Monday.
I think it’s understandable to be angry, but I hope you didn’t display your anger in front of the children and don’t ever bad mouth your wife to your children! At their ages, they must be having a little difficulty understanding the separation. But if they are treated well in both households, they can adjust. And they will understand better when they are older..
So do you pick the kids up every Tuesday and take them out for the entire day while your wife is at work and then drop them back off at the house when she’s there?
And alternated weekends is when you stay at the house while your wife stays with friends?
I’m in the United States and we say “Mom” or “Mother”. But you say “Mum” .. are you in England?
No I didn’t. I was just short her with, ignored her, barely looked at her.
I stayed at the house Tuesday night since she was working at those nights and took them out for the day on weekends. Since moving here the kids sometimes stayed here or I would go up there and stay the weekend. She didn’t go to her friends but sometimes she worked. It was only after I told her that I needed distance between us that she suggested that she go stay with friends.
I’m in New Zealand actually.
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