I have a situation where people say the no contact rule will NOT help. Now what

[qazwsxedcrfv]

Basically, my ex is determined to get over me. I think he may actually be over me. He hasn’t shown any of the signs of still liking me and is putting his friends first. I made all the classic mistakes (begged, pleaded, etc). Anyway, at the moment we are in contact, and for the first time since before the breakup (three weeks), its good contact (no begging pleading, etc. Actually, our old relationship hasn’t come up at all.) Anyway, I asked the question on Yahoo Answers whether or not at this point the no contact rule would be good in a situation like this. Everyone agreed that by using the no contact rule, it will be easier for him to get over me. So NOW what do I do? I don’t want to give up, even though everyone is telling me to. I’m stuck =( Help?

[princesa]

Hi.:)
i felt exactly you do know. I was scared to do NC, because of the same reasons. I think there is no right or wrong here. He wont move on in just one month Of NC. my advice is to do exactly what you want to do. what feels right to you. you will feel better if you know you have done everything you could for your relationship. If that doesnt work do the NC.
But i am so sorry to tell you this, if someone breaks up with you it will never be the same. if he takes you back, you will feel different. you will always knew that he broke up with you and that he can do it again. this is what i have learned.

In my opinion: If you are still in love with him and he is trying to move on, i think it is better to give him some space. Give yourself some space. i know with my ex, i was the only one that could persuade him into something. He is stubborn as hell. But when it came to us i couldnt do anything. When someone decides to break up it’s done in my opinion. There is nothing you can do about it.

If you want him back, he has to want it too. He has to come to this conclusion, not just you. i know it hurs. I know the waiting is so painfull. But it will get better.

so if you feel you are strong enough to be in contact with him, dont do the NC. If that means you will constantly wait by the phone for his text, call and get upset when he doesnt have time for you … you are not ready to see or talk to him. No good will come from it. You will be more and more upset.

I hope all the best for you. good luck. I hope all works out for you.

[qazwsxedcrfv]

@princesa

Thank you for your reply 🙂 I’m just not sure what to do to make him reach that conclusion. I dont want to get friendzoned either though :c I’m kind of in a pickle about this. But today he texted me and we were talking about his appearance and I think he expected me to compliment him and I didnt. He seemed really ataken back by this and i over think things to the max so I’m sure its nothing but at least he knows I’m kinda getting over him? I think? I’m soooo confused! Everyone’s telling me to move on…….

[princesa]

Haha i know how you feel. After 3 months i am still hoping he will come back. No contact didnt really help me get him back to be honest. But i had emotional breakdown so i had to do it or else i would end up in some mental institution. Joke. I literally watched my phone every seconde for a month. I never did that when we were together. It wasnt healthy. I am not proud of it but this is the truth.
with every relationship is diferent. I was so confident we will get back together and was in shock when that wasnt the case. He was the most perfect boyfriend Ever. Told me i was the girl of his dreams, the One…. So he had me fooled for two years, so i went mental when he changed. There was no other option for me besides no contact. Maybe it is diferent for you and your ex.

i think that no contact is ment for us, not our ex. it cant bring them back.
So if you feel you are ok with you two being friends for now it’s ok. Just be careful. You have to change how you act around him. Dont show any afection what so ever. Do NC every now and then for a few days. Dont always be there for him. dont be his safety net.:)

i wish you all the best.:) good luck

[qazwsxedcrfv]

@princesa
Thank you for everything!! :3 I’m in the same boat your in actually, I read your comment on your own thread. About pouring your heart out to him and such. Him not caring… Even though it hurts it feels nice to know your not alone. It feels weird to know that there’s someone out there who feels the exact same thing you do, and is going through the same painful process. Your a little older though lol, I wish I had the skills to get through a two year relationship hahaha. Thank you for all your words of support.

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