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I’ve posted a few times on here. It’s been almost three months now, and I think I’ve really lost her now.
We dated for three and a half years. And it was the best three and a half years of my life. We were always happy and never argued, and even though I was off at college a lot, our relationship was healthy. I spent Christmas Eve with her family, and we all had a wonderful time. Then, a day before New Years, she showed up on my door and said it was over, saying things like “I’ve changed too much.” It was entirely unexpected and emotionally crippling. Since then, I’ve sunk myself into self-improvement of virtually every form I can think of, in the hopes that if I change too, she’ll want me back. Ive lost a lot of weight, got a new hairstyle, worked on giving up porn, and focused really hard on internal strength. I didn’t contact her at all. Three weeks into No Contact, I sent her the letter Kevin writes about in his emails. I wrote about how I’ve been making positive changes in my life, being sure to be vague about it like everything said.
I went back to getting stronger, and things were going relatively smoothly. I still missed her, but I got my emotions under control. The 30 days of No Contact ended, but I decided to lengthen it because I didn’t feel strong enough yet, especially with V-Day right around the corner. Then Valentine’s Day rolled around, and, as you can imagine, it was miserable without her. The next day, she texted me saying she got my letter. She said she hoped school was going good for me, and that she missed being my friend like before we dated back in high school, and wished me luck with everything.
Let me tell you, after all I did for this woman, being told that she misses what we had BEFORE we dated is the most painful thing anyone has ever told me.
The next day I was just plain angry of not knowing why she left, so I tried calling her. She didn’t answer. I figured she was at rehearsals, so I figured she would call me back later.
A full day passed, and she didn’t call back.
I was angry, of course. All these years I gave to here, and she couldn’t give me a phone call. But I went on with the self-improvement, trying to keep the hope strong.
And so here I am now. I got through the school quarter without her, and it’s spring break. But I’ve started thinking that maybe she isn’t coming back. What’s worse, a few days ago, some guy posted pictures of her and him hanging out, and it looks like they might be together. I only have one set of pictures to go off of, though.
I love this woman, and I will love her to the end of my days. But it looks like she’s already moved on.
Somebody please tell me what to do.
Be Patient.Slow approach and no need to get angry/frustrated/confused.Take very slow and be caring not cocky.
Otherwise you will loose her,my two cents.
Also she left because you took her for granted,or you had fights,or she got sick of your behavior or she is in depression,but there is no way to find out and you should not put your energy towards it,rather make a plan and act slowly on it and let her take some steps,if she is interested.
90 days NC you will know,if she doesn’t contact its tough but if she does in 90 days you will still have hope.
Trust me I have been broken up for year and now on nc from approx. 75 days my g/f reached me 2 times thru some excuses in an email and recently I met her for few minutes as of her friend work.
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