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Hi all,
I need some advice on how to proceed after no contact is over. After the 30 day no contact period was over, I texted my ex to see how he was doing. I got back a short neutral response and the conversation was very brief. I know this may not seem significant, but before the 30 day no contact he would not respond to any of my calls or text messages. So I felt like it was progress. Then more recently on Saturday we spoke on the phone and had a friendlier and longer conversation. We talked about his work and I also asked him if he wanted to meet up on Monday for lunch or coffee. He was working out of town and said it would depend on how late he finished up Sunday night. To make a long story short, he did text me on Monday afternoon and said he wouldn’t be able to meet up and he was working in the evening. So I just told him it was okay and to let me know when would be better. He said he would let me know. I was disappointed obviously.
How should I proceed going forward? Should I wait for him to contact me? I really, really want this to work, but I also refuse to come off needy and desperate like I am sure I did before the no contact period. I’m just worried if I don’t follow up with him, nothing will happen.
Has no contact successfully worked for anyone here? I felt like I was making progress but yesterday was a bit of a set back…
Hey Angel
NC is for you. The point of NC is to work on yourself and become confident enough not to need your ex in your life. However, if you and your ex establish contact later on down the road then at least you’ll be able to bring a more confident less needy version of yourself to the table.
Just pretend like you only want to be friends. The coffee date didn’t work, so forget about it. Maybe in a couple days if you are going hang out with friends or do something else, invite him along. Don’t be discouraged if he refuses at first; eventually he will want to do something with you, and then it’s up to you to judge how fast the relationship can go.
My idea is before inviting, try striking up some cnversation over text or something. like ask him whether he read this particular article or something.. and send him the link..something like that. and then talk of it a while. dont invite him anywhere right away. try this a couple of times. btw..not romance articles, anything else except that. whatever he is interestd in.
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