How to procceed (2nd meeting)

[Micky]

Hello,

before I ask for advice on my current situation I would like to summarize what happened until now.

In April my gf (26) broke up with me (32) after about five years of relationship. In that relationship we did not fight alot and were very close (talking/planning kids/marriage and stuff). For a long time we felt like soulmates. We seperated on good terms. The main reason for her to leave was a loss of attraction and also a change in what she was looking for in life. I did not act very needy or desperate. After a few days I started no contact. In that time I was working on myself very hard, made good progress and thought about what went wrong. I fixed many issues and I am still working on a better version of myself. For my own sake. After one and a half month I contacted her. First text, then phone. Then finally we met. She lives in another city, so meeting frequently is not possible. The meeting went very well. She was very talkative and we both had a lot of fun. We had some body contact and in one situation we were emotional and I could have kissed her, but decided not to. She also said ‘should we get back together in the future I would want to take it slow’. After that meeting I felt like I just have to continue with what I am doing. But I had a lot of stress in other parts of my life and then I got a nasty cold and was sick for several weeks. During that time I kept up texting her and asked her out on a second meeting. She agreed. But it feels like I lost a bit of traction. She seems happy with how her life is going now and while I can feel that she has fun talking to me it also feels like she does not really have the desire to have me (or anyone) as a boyfriend in her life. She is meeting friends a lot, going to parties on weekends, doing sports and working a lot.

So next weekend we will meet again in her city. Up until this point I had the exback 5-step plan guide me. But now I feel like I am lacking orientation. Assuming the meeting goes well – best case she brings up the topic of getting together herself. But if not – should I make a move? Wait for a third meeting? I feel that would be a way to get friendzoned as ‘the nice guy I am meeting every moth or so till I meet a new boyfriend’. Should I somehow prepare the topic by texting her and asking her how she feels about us to make her think actively about it? Or would that bring her defense up in the meeting? It feels like I am almost there and I am scared of choking last second. Any advice appreciated.

[gamecoder.nz]

I’m in the same situation where my ex seems to like how her life is going now. Unfortunately that means that you have to ease yourself back into her life slowly. Bringing up getting back together now will be too soon.

What did you do for your first meeting? What are you going to do for this one?

[Author]

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