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Hey,
I replied to you on my feed. So he got in contact with you after all!!! Please be careful and don’t let this set you back.
Has anything else happened since?
Nothing since I last wrote to him. But I have no hope anyway, so this doesn’t make it any worse. I’m still in love with him. But I know now that I will never take him back, and I also know that he will never want me back. I know now that he never loved me. It is bitter to know that. but I’d rather know that, than keep daydreaming about a future with him, and clinging on to some hope. I have no hope, and that’s better, for me, than hope.
Hi SM, I’ve been thinking about writing to you but was a bit easy. I know what you mean about still being in love with your ex. I feel like I sorta am too. It sucks because I met this guy who really likes me and wants to give me the world but I haven’t been able to accept his love. I’m keeping him at a distance because I’m still not over my ex…I wish I could just forget about him forever. I find myself comparing…and it doesn’t compare. Why is it that I’m still in love with this asshole ex and not able to accept the love of a man who would marry me tomorrow if I asked him to? I feel like we are such masochists for loving people who doesn’t love us.
Anyway, knowing that you don’t want him back is the first step of healing. Start your healing now my dear.
I’m subscribed to your thread anytime you need to write.
TravelBug I will write a proper response on your thread, but just wanted to say here that I know it’s hard, when you love someone, when you really love someone, to find love anywhere else.My ex left me eight months ago, and for the past eight months I haven’t looked at another man. I just don’t want to. My friends keep telling me I should go out there and look for a new guy, they keep saying I’m beautiful and charming and any man should be lucky to be with me. But I’ve never been the sort of girl who has gone looking for love; I;ve never done internet dating or any thing like that, and I shudder at the thought of even trying to start. But the bigger problem is that I just don’t want to be with someone else. I wish I could be with my ex, but not the way he is now, the way he was then. I know it’s a dream and it will never ever be, and , as I said before, I wouldn’t ever get back with him, unless he were to come begging (which I know he won’t). We live in different countries, separated by an ocean. It will never happen. But I just can’t let go of all the love I have for him. It’s been eight months, and I still wake up every morning thinking of him; I still go to sleep every night thinking of him; I still cry , though far less now than before. I’m so tired of the pain and the longing. I just hope it will go with time.
Maybe a new man will come into my life suddenly, and help me forget my pain, but I can’t bring myself to go about looking for it. I can’t help but thinking that isn’t the healthiest way to live: like an addict trying to get off one drug by replacing it with another…Pixie25, no, new man for me in time for christmas, alas! I wish! (Though I don’t really wish, given all I’ve written above). It’s going to be hard, but I’ve got to get through them alone. I was reading one of Kevin’s emails again – the one about the “scarcity” vs “abundance” mindset, and I fear I really belong to the former camp. I don’t think there’s an abundance of men out there for me; I don’t think it’s possible to fall in love a hundred times with a hundred different people. Maybe some people can, maybe their hearts are big enough. Mine isn’t. I’m 37 – almost 38 – and I can honestly say I’ve only loved four men my entire life. I’ve had crushes and flings with others, but love, only four. And I fear that my last ex – the one who broke up with me in April – might well be my last. I know I shouldn’t think that way. But I do. And a big part of me thinks that that is a good thing, because I cannot bear to go through this pain and suffering again with someone else…
Hi all, just checking in after some days off this site. Trying but struggling to not think about my ex during this special time of the year. Makes a difference knowing that so many of us are in this together; struggling with the same thoughts and cravings and sorrows and doing our best to overcome them as best we can. Just want to say thank you to ALL of you, and to Kevin, for keeping this site going.
I’ve not heard from my ex since the exchange I mentioned earlier in this thread. I’m not expecting him to write at all. Still, it would be so nice if he did. But why write? To ask me how I am?UGH UGH UGH
SOOOO hard not to contact the ex at this time of the year. But I’m staying strong and resolved not to write to him unless he does first.
Trying my best to enjoy myself. Am with family, which helps. But still think of him every night/morning, and still regret so much not being with him.
How are you all doing? Here’s wishing all of you all the very best for the year ahead…Happy New Year!!!!
🙂Looking forward to you telling us about your new man as I have no doubt you’ll have one soon 😉
Almost two months since I last heard from my ex. He didn’t write to wish me for christmas, new years, or my birthday. I didn’t write either. It’s so sad. I know for certain now that he is forever out of my life. I still love him. But I will never contact him unless he contacts me. I have to go back to his city in Feb for another brief work related visit. I will see our mutual friends, I will send an email out to people, but I will not contact him.
Pixie25, as for a new man, I hope you’re right! I’m so tired of being alone and being sad.Hi all. Just to say that I saw my ex last week a couple of times, as I had to go back to the States and to the city where he lives for work. It was the first time I’d seen him since I left the States in August. He left me last April – so, almost ten months ago – and I’ve been shattered and really struggling to deal with it ever since. OUr relationship didn’t even last that long (Feb-April) but we’ve been friends for years, and I fell deeply in love with him. I’ve written about all that here previously. For now I just wanted to say that it was such a jolt to see him. He said he was genuinely happy to see me. He also let slip that he’s seeing someone else and that he’s very happy. He wasn’t rubbing it in my face or anything, it was a response to my asking if he’d met anyone. I told him I’m seeing someone too (not true!) and I made sure not to react at all to the news that he’s seeing someone else. But I feel shattered and hurt all over again. He’s not the type of person to have random rebound relationships; he’s only had serious relationships all his life. So I;m sure this one he’s in is serious. Oh god it is so awful. He left me – at least what he had said back then – because he felt he couldn’t give me anything, he had said that he “had no bandwith” for love. So now he has that bandwith, for someone else?? When he knows full well, despite all my pretending otherwise, that I love him still? I live in another country, half way across the world from him. It is all so awful and sad. I’m never getting him back. I knew that last April. I knew that last August. I know that now. Of course there are other men out there. But he was the one I really and truly loved, and still do. I have nothing to comfort me now – even though I had no hope at all for months – because even time doesn’t help. It has been ten months. I still cry about him.
I dont know what to do. I guess I’ve got to just keep living and just keep pretending that I’m fine. I cant tell any of my friends because they will think it’s ridiculous – and because they all think that I got over him LONG ago, as I should have done.
I followed all of Kevin’s advice. It still doesn’t help.
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