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My gf of 2.5 years and I broke up. I was hurt and fell into the mistakes many do before starting NC, it was pathetic. We then started messaging in a friendly way though way less than we used to. I decided to start NC and didn’t say anything (18th July). It got to a week and she messaged me about being invited to a friend’s kid’s 1st bday party (26th July). She said something like;
“hi how are you? PERSON NAME has invited me (on facebook) to their kid’s party. I haven’t replied yet as i assume they don’t know about us?”After 24hrs I replied;
“Don’t worry about it, I’ve let PERSON NAME know the situation now. I hope you don’t think I’m being rude but I need time and space to heal from the breakup and focus on myself for a while. This is why I think we shouldn’t talk for a while longer. Hope you understand”I wasn’t sure if she was messaging me and using the bday as an excuse or it was a real concern for her. They were my friends first and we’re not that close to them so had she ignored it I don’t think it would have been a big deal. I didn’t go to the party.
Now, on 3rd August, I have another message from her. I’ve not opened it. I closed the notification and I’m trying to avoid looking but it’s got me feeling worried. What do I do? I’ve been moving on ok. Talking to girls on Tinder and getting on with 1 in particular. I also have a job interview next week. Just knowing my ex has contacted me I feel that knot it my stomach I had when we first broke up. It could be her saying there’s mail at her place for me or begging me to come back (unlikely). Who knows. But I did say we shouldn’t talk and now she’s contacted me…
I still love her but felt I was improving myself and doing well following the articles here. I would love some advice from anyone.
@Jimmy837 – You were in a relationship for 2 1/2 years, lived together for 2, and then at some point moved back to your mother’s home. You don’t mention why she chose to break up with you? Were you working when you lived with your ex?
She might have been using the birthday as a reason to contact you, but nobody knows for sure. I’m glad you sent the message asking for no contact for awhile as it was the right thing to do instead of just ignoring her. However, I suggest you open the message she sent on Aug 3rd, but you don’t have to respond.
You say you’ve been talking to girls on Tinder and one in particular. Have you met any of these girls? Do you plan to? OR do you want to focus on trying to get your ex back??
If you think your ex is open to possibly reuniting, you two need to (at some time) have a serious discussion.
Thank you for your reply.
Yes, I was working.
She had some mental health issues which she said she needed to deal with by herself (anorexia / depression). We’d been working through it together for a while but I struggled to understand. I was never not supportive but I think unless you have a mentl health issues you’ll never know what it’s like. Since then I’ve been studying up on them and it’s really opened my eyes. She would often say I deserve better than her or I would have more fun with someone else and asked me to leave her multiple times. While the thought crossed my mind in the darkest times I would never have done it because I love her and the good bits far outweigh the bad for me.
The message shhe sent was just about a subscription we had together, she was asking for the password but I ignored. Since then I saw her in public for like half a second and she saw me but there was no time to react to each other thankfully.
I’m meeting tinder girl next week for a casual drink. She seems nice but I’m really doing it as part of the improving myself and my confidence process. I’d rather have my ex back.
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