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So if he did not change number with other exes then why would he do it now besides it is such a hassle to change number and let everyone know so I doubt it. We dont know does he want to get back together and if he does not then that is what you have to accept. You really need to do at least 30 days, I would say more but that is your decision. You have done so well with it so far so please just but the phone away , hide to other room where you cannot see it when the urge gets too much. I know you want him and love him but right now you cannot keep the relationship going as long as you both behave this way so if you want this to be more long term than you need to continue nc and work on you. And yes you have worked hard and made progress but it is not completed until you believe in yourself more, stop feeling worthless because you are worth everything and this obsessive behavior is reduced because if you just let it go now you will not be able to control it and then he gets angry so just calm down listen music, go for walk. Deleting those accounts for awhile is a good idea.
yeah you’re exactly right. (also I commented in between your comments if you want to read 🙂 looks like we were posting at the same time!)
But I’m extremely jealous of other girls especially if they like my man because to me they become a threat…they just do. And yeah it stems down to my insecurity. and not loving myself. And yeah I need to fully trust him I guess he didn’t think I ever completely did. Yeah I guess I always start off not having faith in anyone…it’s not a very good tactic. And yeah well I also really dislike when a girl knows that a guy is taken and she STILL tries getting him. Like those girls have no respect for me or my relationship and it really hurts and affects me. That’s why I disliked the coworker so much.
And yeah, I feel really sad and depressed right now. I want to text him saying “Just saw a spock meme. Remember that time when we played with that spock plush in your car for over an hour laughing and joking around? It actually made me smile”
Yeah, I could try doing stuff… I just feel so unmotivated right now. I’m also afraid of full out rejection him saying he never wants me again blah blah blah 🙁
Yeah you’re completely right. I do strongly emphasize what others say about my ex and myself…I don’t know why. One would think I should trust myself more. And yeah my friend luke was wrong to say that I think… and just insensitive
Yeah, the negative thoughts and feelings continue to hurt me. I don’t know what to do right now. Yeah, I’m angry at him for what he did too…lol and also insecure about them. I will try to forgive and get over it..I just wish I knew what he was thinking just feel like he doesn’t miss me at all and never loved me bc I feel like if he really loves me he couldn’t just end via email and thats it. :/Yeah I remember when I broke up w the old ex thinking I never had a way out…I hope my ex now doens’t think that of me though 🙁 I did become stronger though w old ex I think. And yeah words are just words but sometimes they really hurt me…I’m quite sensitive. If he really loves me could I drive him away by contacting a little early though? :/
I don’t know…maybe he thinks I’m crazy or will not leave him alone and now he has resentment towards me and thinks i’m ugly and disgusting and never wants me again? and yeah it is a hassle but he has just been using his work cell so what is that about…i wonder if it is just for family or if he is also texting friends…hopefully not..bc he really emphasized keeping work and personal life separate. I am trying to do at least 30 days.. how come more than that? Just wondering 🙂
It means a lot that you feel I’ve done so well this far..I’m just having a hard time bc day 21 and NOTHING from him. And yeah I took snapchat off my phone. Instagram is still on there for now and we will see. Hopefully I won’t open it all that much. If I start to I may delete it. I am just so anxious thinking did he make another snapchat w work number, does he never want to talk to me again…did he just change his number to shut me out completely?? So hurtful. I just have a huge gut wrenching hurtful feeling in my whole body right now. I don’t know if he could still be mad 3 weeks later? :/Those girls have no respect for themselves either but you need to think of this way. He chose you and why did he do that because you are amazing and he saw that so no more of this he never loved me thing. He chased you for a year to get you to be his gf?? Do you think he did that for fun? I dont think so or least I can think of more fun things to do.
Also I do think you can loose him by contacting him too soon. You need to remember that he did not end it because he does not love you but because he could not handle the negative cycle you had that you both contributed to by reacting with the way that would increase one persons anxiety and other persons anger. When you have lots of other things going on top of that you stop the thing that does not make you feel great because he cannot drop his jobs and his son. So he dropped the relationship because he could not take the work on that specific moment. I think you are letting that comment Cantsum made in the other threat to impact you. But he is working on from premise that his exe’s completely innocent text about money meant she wants him back and when he responded because he could not hold nc he got a response that was friendly. For his sake I hope the ex wants him back because I dont want hurt for or pain for anyone but the he is not back with the ex yet and he has not asked her out and his ex contacted him first. You have not yet heard from yours and reason is that he s not ready yet so I do think it would drive him away but I dont know him only what you have told me so at the end of the day decision is yours to do what you wish but you also then take responsibility if it goes wrong and then you can only deal with it. My opinion is that it would be mistake. But you need to do as you want to this is not my call to make and I will not take that on me.
Even if he is angry with you he would not think you are ugly and disgusting. That is you talking and you are not those things so STOP IT NOW!!!!!! He might not be angry but it takes time to get over the negative feelings that caused the break up so that is why I said he needs more time. I said more than thirty because I think you need it for you. You have made great progress but there is still couple of things that I think could slide you back to negative and it is your insecurities you need more work on that because if you get insecure you start obsessing. And unless you like yourself or least think you are okay as you are it will in first hard time and those will come kick back in and any progress you make with him will be lost to first time you go on about not being good enough. Like now you said those ugly and disgusting and he would not use those words about you even if he no longer wants to be in relationship with you and you know it. You dont speak that way about people you really love so he would not say that.
When you can say you are good enough for anyone then you are ready to take on the world. Believe in your wonderful qualities work on some of the worst ones and you can still have few minor not so great qualities like I do : ).
AHHHH I just went to my linkedin and saw that I had been browsing today when you could see it was me who viewed you and i had viewed my ex’s profile -_- i changed it back to anonymous…omg though…what if he sees that :O Also still freaking out about stupid phone stuff. i recently woke up from nap and at dinner though so @finntoga I will now read your posts 🙂
@finntoga
Yeah, I guess they don’t…and it’s hard for me to see it that way when I just feel them threatening my relationship. And yeah I guess he chose me and he chased me for almost 2 years that is also why it is SO hard for me to believe that he would just let me go via email…maybe I’m wrong aboutthe person he was though 🙁Day 21 and nothing..and now he may see i looked at his linkedin ugh.
Yeah, that’s true. he was tired of me going crazy all of the time. he also needs to see his role in that too, though. Yeah, that comment cantsum made really bothered me as I inherently disagree with him and I don’t think a friendly response means the ex wants you back and I think he broke nc too soon. With that being said, I felt he took all responses in a very defensive way and was rude to myself and others…
But back to my ex. i want to be the thing that makes him feel great. I have been in the past. Also last time at this time I reached out and it worked so that’s another reason.
I don’t know if I will hear from mine, though. My fear is that he just has moved on to diff phone (work phone) wont go back to his personal one, and diff life. Idk if he would contact me at all due to “friends but not til distant future” which really upset me. I ideally would want to contact his personal cell, and that is not on and I don’t want him to be upset if I contact work phone…I’m currently still staying strong and temptation is still very high. I just feel he never will! He won’t get back his personal number bc he doesn’t want to deal with me, etc.
Even though he knows I know all the ways to contact him…so hopefully he realizes that his phone being off is not by any means stopping me? I could also go to a place he works on the weekends to see him but I am not doing that either… I guess i deep down feel and am convinced he doesn’t care and doesn’t miss me and just wants to get over me and let me go. And that hurts a lot.@finntoga,
I hope he doesn’t think I’m ugly and disgusting. And yeah I hope he gets over the negative feelings but what if he has already moved on, doesn’t think of me, doesn’t think we can work, ever…etc. And yeah, you’re right about there being things I can slide back into. This sucks though because I feel like I’m losing the love of my life with every day of no contact 🙁 I don’t know how to work on my insecurities I wish I did. Also my therapist today alluded to the fact she thinks I may have OCD -_- she asked if i talked to my psychiatrist about my obsessive behaviors and that a certain medication could help me w that…i looked up medication and sure enough it also treats ocd… I feel like my brain is all imbalanced and wrong. Yeah, my self esteem is a big one. I really want to tell him that I’ve gone about 5-6 weeks with no bingeing or restricting…I’m dying to let him know 🙁 This is huge for me 🙁 I feel though like he doesn’t love me bc of how he ended things? Unless he was just that level of mad? Not sure.That sounds a good way to work towards improving myself…telling myself I’m good enough for anyone and anyone would be lucky to have me for a girlfriend. yeah, I’m working on them just so hard and sometimes I wanna give up :/.
I Also want to send this :/ “Sorry about the work cell, couldn’t not tell you this. I saw a Spock meme today. Reminded me of you & the time we sat in your car over an hour laughing & playing with plush Spock. It actually made me smile. :)”
AHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOO FREAKING OUT. I ACCIDENTALLY TEXTED HIM.
So I kept texting out what i wanted to say and putting his iphone email on there and then i like pretended to push it just like sitting w the feeling then i did that again thought I completely missed the send button and I accidentally hit it. I feel like an idiot. Now I have ruined my NC 🙁 Oh goodness. I don’t even know if he is going to respond and if he does he may be mad. gahhhhhhh i’m an idiot I was doing so well :/Why did I even have it entered like that. Well i found it slightly empowering so i did and now I’ve screwed it all up. I feel like i’ve disappointed myself and everyone and now im gonna be another one who violated nc and has an angry ex ? 🙁 </3
And what I sent wasn’t bad it may just be too soon or make him mad bc work cell omg freaking out now
I feel terrible for breaking nc esp bc it wasn’t an actual Choice! Sure I had it composed but that’s bc I kept exiting out feeling empowered and then I accidentally hit send!!?? 🙁 do I need to start over? It was an accident. I feel so sucky right now
Ugh I’m so mad at myself and it was an accident 🙁 that was stupid of me even to plug it in I mean I was contemplating sending it but I also kept exiting out so I would be empowered and then I stupidly tried to touch around it and then freaked out when I saw it was sent 🙁 he has not said a thing I’m freaking out thinking I ruined all my chances. I’m on 21 nc or I was… What should I do??? 🙁 🙁 I feel like an idiot and a failure. I ruined my nc by accident !!!???
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