Boards Reconciliation Heart and head don’t match up

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  • #33793
    Lucylady1978
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2

    My friend and I started dating two years ago after being friends for 8 years. He also has a 2 1/2 yr old daughter. We were very serious and it came to light Very quickly he had a serious drinking problem. Something I knew to be true but did not know the extent. It affected every part of our relationship and by the end we were in an emotionally abusive situation that was so negative it was like being in a black hole.

    He has since gone to rehab and for 7 months has begged me to give him another chance because he is different now. He has his head on straight and is in a better place.

    I desperately want to believe him because we had such a deep connection and friendship but my head is telling me I am stupid.

    I need non-bias insight please. My friends and family will tell me no.

    #33938
    kalicooldude
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 151

    As a guy you should give him one more chance,i think everyone deserves one and its fair.You can always start slow and see how things are and make your moves accordingly.I am guy who took my g/f for granted in 4 year relationship and once she was gone,i begged,cried,1000s times sorry,became her door mat,changed lot of things but she never gave me a chance.And this hurted me very much and I am very becoming very strong & unemotional person now,which I never wanted to become in my life.So it is always good idea to give a chance as long as other person accepts the mistakes and make required changes.Rest is up to you I am not expert !

    #33939
    kalicooldude
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 151

    As a guy means I am suggesting from a guy side.

    #33984
    Lucylady1978
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2

    Thank you. I do believe that if I don’t even consider it, it may change him and myself both emotionally. Maybe making me feel more hardened and put walls up.

    I also know that alcoholics, recovered or not, will say what they think you want to hear. Still confused. I love him very much but will we fall back into the same routine of abusive words and negativity? That is where I feel lost.

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