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You can check out my previous post, but long story short: long distance. He flirts with his friend. Freaks out. Tells me, I forgive him. He breaks up with me because he can no longer trust himself in a distance relationship. Month of nc. Short casual text conversations, I call him out on being weird and he said “it would take time for us to be friends again” and then told me “good luck with the rest of my semester”. He then continually viewed my snapchat stories, even though he wouldn’t contact me outright.
So I contacted my ex once early last week as I was having a crisis with trying to figure out my degree and graduation, and he knew the situation. I mentioned that it was ok if he didn’t want to talk to me, to which he said he didn’t know why I thought that. I mentioned the “good luck with your semester” comment and he explained he didn’t mean it in the way I took it, he just didn’t know what to say/how often we should be talking. He talked me through my situation and we caught up on life, what our friends are doing etc. At the end of the conversation, he told me it was nice speaking with me.
Sunday. I see a video posted by his friend on instagram. Of him lighting his hand on fire. So I freak out, and end up texting him that he was an idiot for doing that. I also begin to explain to him that I’m going to care too much about him and I’m not sure if I can be just his friend; I can’t not give a crap when he lights his hand on fire. He apologized, said he wasn’t putting in enough effort into trying to make a friendship work. I explained to him that I can’t quite fall out of love with him enough to not care. He tells me HE LOVES ME. And he can’t forgive himself for what he did even though he knows I have already forgiven him. We decide that we are going to try to be friends, and I told him that as much as I love him and want to be with him again, I need to start moving on with my life if he isn’t going to figure himself out. We ended the conversation with him saying he’d talk to me soon.
I know it’s now in his court to reach out. But honestly I am so confused by everything I just don’t know what to do anymore. HELP!?!
So we’ve chatted a few times since, partially me mentally breaking down because I lost one of my majors (so basically a degree down the toilet). I’m just GAH! Help me please!
So now he’s in Costa Rica and we’re no contact for the next week just because he doesn’t have cell or internet service. We talk every few days or so besides that. I just don’t know where his head is at…
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