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OKay jut saying, im so happy for this opportunity, okay i know its not eve 10 minutes per day since we both work close where we live, but those minutes are A LOT compared to last 3 months when it was like I dont exist. I a happy okay, very happy 🙂 So now, i should now mention old relationship, only some good memories we could laugh at or talk about and enoy the talk. any ideas and advices on what to/what not to?
Only mention the old relationship if you want to walk to work. You’re making good progress but if you bring that up your chances of getting back together will be even lower than before. Your old relationship is GONE, so don’t talk about it anymore. If he becomes friendlier and eventually wants to start doing things with you and asks you out, it will be a new relationship. The only things that might be okay to mention is if something reminds you of a happy, non-intimate memory with him. Even that can be risky.
I would say be positive and be like a ball of light 🙂 exude confidence. But don’t be fake. Genuinely feel happy and positive. Of course if you are a negative and quiet person don’t overdo it. The idea is for him to feel good around you, and to make him feel those 10 minutes everyday make his day so much better. You know what he likes and values. Try to encorporate that some how. But remember never just fake it. Be authentic. Mention some exciting things and plans once twice a week at most. Something he will remember and ask you again for. Ask about the things he talks to you about. Ask about how he is going with his hobbies, important friends. Make him feel comfortable in sharing his issues with you. If he seems down, try to make him talk. But all in it’s time. Your goal should be to not exagerate so he will know you want him back and bound with him and make him want more than 10 minutes a day. Good luck
@tighem: for mentioning the old relationship I meant like saying; you know that day we went to cinema and saw that commercial for the movie “Trash”? well i watched it yesterday, it’s really good and you might like it” Or something like that? Or it still wouldnt be smart to say so? Right now, I am just keeping it about driving to/from work, and normal topicshi car, our work, today’s plans) he never tells his plans cause he has noone expect go to sleep after work lol.. we both are distant but friendly.. and I want to ask him to go out, but I wont, he will have to want it himself, and ask me out. and thank you !
@kaila: I am positive honestly! Like for real, not over reacting. i think he realized that i am okay without him and not needy and this things, so this is why he is okay being around me.before he was scared i will start talking and asking things he doesnt want to talk or speak about.he was wrong and he sees changes in me.. He has a pretty hard chacracter,he acts like nothig comes to him and hurts im, and everyone thinks he doesnt gve a fccck about anythig, i also used to think so..until he told me he cares for a lot, just ha no intention of showing that(he hates and dislikes people,doesnt trust and respect noone….etc) and his poker face, people cant see past it.but I do.But i dont want to be pushy and say like: you dont look satisfied, anything bothering you?.I wanna ask smthn like that just less direct and pushy..i just want that he has a clue he can talk to me deeper things if he wants, but i make it look like i dont bother if he doesnt. and thank you too.so I will drive with him and talk, but I wont reach out for anything else, just hope he will. Today when we were out with friends, I talked to a friend, and my ex started to talk to me about what I said to my friend. He tries to talk to me a bit more but i dont really seem like trying to do so, which makes him talk more.Is that okay if i act like that?
I realized we feel more awkward talking when mutual friends are around than when we are alone… we both know they are just waiting to listen what we will talk and how we act to each other and then talk about it behind our backs.also I dont say anything to mutual friends about him, cause it will come to his ear. idk, i just dont want to screw up so i will do as u both suggested.i just want him to see how i’ve changed and improve, but he will see sooner or later..
I think you are on a great path. You know him and you know what he likes, what he likes about you. I honestly feel really nervous when I realize I should put show him the things he most liked about me and make him remember the good times… I just would like everything to be natural but you either are ok with it going how it has to go or if you really want to do the best for it to work out (this is me) you just think about everything… I guess I am not a very confident person just yet…
About the friends thing… just try to act as natural as you can. Give him some attention but give most attention to other guys. Maybe even invite one or two friends to join you if the group is normally ok with that and he might wonder who they are if there is one guy there.
Can you give me advice on my situation? When we broke up he said we could remain friends and see what happens. Two months have passed and we were together a couple of times and he did say recently he still would like things to work out but he is affraid and doesn’t feel ready nor does he know when or if he will feel.. Please read the first post for more info https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/he-says-he-would-like-to-get-back-but/
@kaila: I answered on your post 🙂
Yes well, you know about friends, we both have mutual friends loool I know. but we live one kilometer(less than a mile) appart and around 20km we know same people, just he hanged out with other more and i have with other ones more. but we all know them all. Me and my ex were together in kinder garten also,but lost contact when I mvoed away 5 km from where I used to live and where i live now again 🙂 and he told me once that when he was hanging with friends that I spent more time with he said; someone should call tamara to come out and hang out with us.. but they didnt or i didnt come out. and like 8 months ago I moved back here to my dad (where I lived before,one km from his house) and i started to hang out with people he was spending more time with(one of them is my cousin tho) and i was also asking about him why he doesnt come out and such, and when he came after a month of nowhere to be seen, we clicked lol,we knew about each other existence since for ever but we didnt really know achother. After a week we hanged out alone and all.
But okay this is history and memories, i need to focus on NOW and how to continue, i dont want to scare him off… btw anytime soon he will stop by by my house and give me something, i keep asking him for favour LOL, but only because i need things + also he loves the feeling of someone needing him and feeling of someone counting on him when its needed. so i know i make him feel good about himself like that. but idk,,, i am nt sure how to proceed to get to him, or so we go out to hang out not just drive to work…. ugh :/ any idea maybe? he will not ask me to go on a coffee he is too proud or maybe a week is just to soon. idk.. :/ im confused and dont wanna screw up lmaoo
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