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Bat, Wondering412, moonbunny and Brandon_G thank you guys so so much! :-*:-*:-*
I’m feeling much better after waking up. Sun is shining, I slept well and my head is much clearer and thoughts lighter.
All your posts warmed my heart and I feel even better.
Yesterday, I was really desperate. Firstly, extremely happy after seeing his call, and than felt like a shinking boat after he wrote me what he wrote.
You’re right- I’m not ready. I did do some changes, but it isn’t enough. Change was rather external than internal.
Moonbunny suggester acceptance and awareness and meditation. I would try that.
Any more suggestions?
Dear moonbunny, thank you for your concern. I’m doing much better. I’m seeing the irony in my situation- I prayed so hard about getting a call from him and thought about that daily, and it finally did happen, but- by his words- by mistake. It’s kinda funny in that “god has a sick sense of humour” way. But I do appreciate the irony.:)
I’m not giving up. I’ll send him a letter in 3 weeks time. Hopefully, he’ll call me once more before that.
Aww haha! At the end of the day, we should just leave everything to God, because we may not see it now, but I believe God has it all planned for us.
I notice this sit is just about NC and the pre meetup . now I’m stuck between give more NC or try re-establishing contact and what is the right way.. 🙁 Right after I sent him the letter we seem more okay with everything but eventually I feeel the distant.. the steps that we should take after the letter and meetup is harder than it was before :/I know, that’s why I don’t want to leave comfort zone of NC yet.
I’m afraid of all the potential awkwardness that is expecting me…-lack of words, awkward silence, building a whole new relationship on friendly base with someone you still love in non-platonic sense. It’s so hard.Damn I’m suffering so much right now 🙁 I’m not sure how to initiate a conversation with him. I really just want to catch up with him on a friendly basic first because I really miss our friendship too. ( how we used to play games together and share to each other the things we nlth loved) Yes I agree it’s so hard when you still love them so much. All I know is getting an ex back is not some science experiment where you just follow every step. It’s more like an art where there is no definite steps and rules and in order to succeed we first have to build a comfort zone with them for a good emotional connection. So that’s why we have to grow up mentally enough to be ‘present’ when talking with them and not bothered by the past or what may happen in the future. Like they said you have to really get over them and learn that they nau not come back at all. Which I haven’t succeed on doing as it hurts so much to picture him even holding another girl’s hand.. And I believe what’s most important is we still choose to believe and that hope and determination is our key to success. For now I feel we should do something to improve our mentality health more first regarding all these pain we’ve been through. And take the one we used to be (the one they felt in love with at the first place ) as a role model. Maybe you’re a cheerful, positive person to him? So work on that and learn to respond according to the present moment instead of letting the past or the future bother us. Is this very moment that matters! Show him what’s he’s been missing!
I think I went a long way since he left me. I’ve certainly been reflecting a lot. I know I did him so wrong. He was good and cuddly teddy bear and I was horrible to him. 🙁
if I had one more chance, I’d do everything right.
I hope he’ll give me that chance.Jesus, I miss him so freakin badly.
I want to call him more than anything.I must control myself. Will send a letter in few weeks.
I’m so sorry to hear that All one.
It must have hurted. 🙁
That’s right, control yourself. Nc all the way, it’s going to help you a lot, believe me!Don’t plan ahead, in my opinion. Now it’s time to focus on yourself, on what makes you happy (other things than him). I know it’s hard to think this way, but you’ll get there, believe me! When the time comes, if you still want to send him the letter, do it! But don’t live your life thinking constantly about that. Live each day to the fullest, learn new things, hangout with your friends, listen to music, read! Distract yourself, but specially, improve yourself! You’ll see that with time you will be less hurt.
All the best!*
Thank you, Mia. You’re advice is really golden.
I’m gonna take some time off of that drama and focus on myself and what makes me happy. I’m really mentaly and emotionally exhausted. I feel like I’ve been sick and now need to get back my strength.
There is, nevertheless, something I want to share with you. It worries me a lot.
I met my ex when he was in a process of dumping his ex gf. She, as I remember, did everything that I’m doing now. She (after few initial “mistakes”) went NC on him. You could really tell he was over her and wanted to find someone new. (Me- he was chasing me for months, but I know for a fact that he had a contact with several other girls- that he put to the end when we became more “serious”). So, she did everything. No contact. Trying to make him jealous. Friendly messages. Kept it sweet and short. (Long story short- she did EVERYTHING this program suggests). And, well nothing worked, obviously.
He told me about every message she sent and any time she called. I am usually jealous person, but this time I wasn’t jealous, because I was so 100% certain he was 100% over her. The way he talked about her made me sure about that. There was no doubt in my mind. In fact, he sent me forward almost all of her mails, without me asking to.
In the end, she became desperate (about a year- or even more after their break up). Her messages became really emotional and sad. I felt bad for her. We both thought that it’s really sad she still misses him after all this time (and despite the fact she had a new bf- the one she was initially mentioning to make her and my ex jealous).
Now my thoughts are… she played her cards by the book. And it didn’t work. Sure, there was me back then. But I’m sure he wouldn’t get back with her even if he was single.
I know which his thoughts and reactions were… and that scares me. I don’t think this will work on him. :-/ He had already been there, and he’s obviously immune to NC and everything else.
When it’s over for him- then it’s over, I’m afraid. :-/
Please, give me your thoughts on this matter.
Well, I think that each case it’s a different one. Even if it was like that with his ex before you, doesn’t mean it will be that way with you.
I’d say, don’t waist time thinking of that type of stuff. It’ll only hurt you more, and you don’t want to add any more thoughts to your head.
Believe me, if he still loves and misses you, he will want to have you back. Don’t try to hard, if a person wants to be with US, he will be.
Right know it’s time to think only of you. 🙂Hey all one! I have a different background story from you but I would love to share some insight with you! My ex bf have this super duper huge crush on a girl for like YEARS and he finally thought that he should not kept chasing her then he met me. We eventually spent more than 3 years together and everything was literally perfect until college hits us. Then after we broke up.. I noticed he went and talk with his crush again.. maybe it’s just me thinking too much but I got a feeling like he want to chase her back. Well ‘sadly’ for him, she already has a bf. I was scattered at first, I mean thought he wanted to end us mainly because of college stress.. But seriously every situation is different. I don’t think it doesn’t mean that the your ex bf can get over you just like how he get over his ex gf. Afterall you and the ex gf is a two completely different person. Thats means its a two completely different love story. so my meaning is allone, let’s not think too much and worry about things that are out of our control. Because we can only focus on our own feelings, not another person’s. I have this anxiety inside me that things I don’t wish to happen will happen too, that’s why the key here is to grow a new mindset – we may not get them together with them at this very moment. That’s why we need to learn acceptance. It doesn’t mean resignation, because we didn’t give up, it just mean we don’t choose to deny the reality, that this very moment – another person’s feelings toward us is out of our control. So why not we be the best versions of ourselves instead? And in the path of growing up we may finally get back with them in the future, or we found a another person that is finally worthy of all our efforts and won’t let us shed tears like our ex’s did. Life is so unpredictable, you know. And our best bet is learn to have a positive mindset towards everything, after all yolo! No one deserves to be unhappy all the time because of another person ! Because we are responsible for our own happiness. It’s a tough process but we can do it ! I know we can! Lastly, what is meant to be yours will eventually be yours . I strongly believe and stick to living with this statement . Stay strong!
Moonbunny, thank you, your words always cheer me up. 🙂
He is throwing me those little signs… first, he called by accident. Secondly, I visited this app today where we played quizzes and he played the quizz I challenged him God knows when- when we were still together. Notification said that he rematched yesterday.:-/
All those little signs… Like he’s here but not here. Honestly, like I’m trying to catch a ghost.:D
I decided to delite the app whatsoever because it would be messing with my NC. I can see his activity there, and that’s not what I want. We were signed for a brief moment at the same time. I changed my profile photos, though.B-)
Beside that, I’m doing fine. I’m getting in a better shape, changed my hair, I’m studying like crazy… have quite a bit of male attention, to be honest. Socializing with my girlfriends, meeting new people…
Maybe I should start drinking some herbal antidepressants… Has anybody tried that?
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