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Sry for late answere, its so much with new job and everything.
She want to move to a place about 2.5 hour away from the plate we both live in now, just beacuse thats the place she feels home, but she know that im not interested to move anywhere !
Why she dont like it hete, i think its beacuse of all the trouble with her boyfriend/ex, im not sure, but i think mabye its beacuse some problems she have, mabye.I took your edvice with no contact, only about the kids, but she has been calling me everyday, and she talk so negative about her boyfriend about everything ! I dont hear anything good!
Yesterday she had to ask me to go and get a new baby seat, beacuse our son was sleeping and her boyfriend didnt want to help her !And today she did borrow my car, so that she can bring our son to his grandparents, so that he can get holiday, when she did came back with the car, she suprised me with a hug, and thats are something that not have happend for months!
We never had so nice tone like now for about half year, but im afraid that she only sre like this beacuse she wants to move !
Im not going to ask her about anything about us, i think I just let it go, and see what happens, i cant do anything more, but i have to watch out, so that she dont use me just for fun !
But i dont think she just look at me as a friend, when she wants to talk so much and so Long everytime !
Mabye i need a smack in the head or its my feelings for her that makes me this nice against her.@sadman29 My gosh, this situation is ridiculous. She seems to be using you to get what she wants.
She also uses you as someone she can discuss troubles with the boyfriend too. You need to tell her to stop complaining to you about the guy! Tell her you can’t solve that problem and you don’t want to discuss it anymore.. She needs to work it things out for herself!
I thought the guy was moving out of her place?
Thats what im thinking also, but its hard, beacuse i have a good heart and want to help, but i cant help her ! So i Will try my best !
She told me that, but sometimes he is in her place and sometimes not, so i really dont know what she is doing ! But she cant keep doing it like this ! If she choose him, okey then she cant complain about anything !
I tell her the truth and say she should get him out, that way she can be fine herself to !Im Just waiting for her to be silent again, and that will happen soon i guess!
But in my eyes, she know understand how good everything was when we where togheter ! And mabye this is whats going to make her understand that ! But im still not contacting her !
@sadman29 Yes, you have a good heart and you’ve helped her on some things. But don’t let her use you to complain about the boyfriend anymore! And you already told her to get him out, so don’t tell her again!
She has played mind games with you for over 1 1/2 years. It’s time to take back your dignity..
So im going to try do to everything you say, but its not goint to be easy, beacuse? I will tell you
Yesterday she did ask if i could get her from a party and drive her home, i sat alone and watch tv, and didnt had much to do, so i sad yes, when i get to the place she was, she did come out and told me to come inside, and i ask, why do you want me to come inside ? Her answere was: beacuse i want you to come and meet her new friends and get to know them to, and i did talk with everyone and that was nice to meet new People.
My ex sat vert close to talk with me, always look me in the eyes, and when she wantet to show me something on her phone, she put her head close to me !
Everyone there told med that i was a really nice guy and they wounder why she did throw me away ! So i did talk with my ex for 3 hours about our kids, and yes, everything ! And i did talk with everyone Else to !
But this is the first time i was with her on something for about 2.5 years.Why did she want me to come inside ? Was it beacuse the alcohol? Isnt when ypu drink alcohol the truth get out ? And why should i meet her new friends ?
I take it a little positiv and we did have a good time, and we did agree when we should drive from the party, i drove her home, and i went home alone !
Any thougts about that ?
And yes, she did show me a picture of herself where her ex boyfriend had batch slap her really hard and hold her against the for with his hand over her mouth !
@sadman29 She did not talk to you about reconciliation, did she?
Who took the picture of the boyfriend abusing her??? This is very strange. She should file for a restraining order and never see him again!
Another party and more drinking.. She hasn’t changed. Alcohol loosens inhibitions it’s true, but it seems she continues to play games with you. Who was watching the children while she was at the party????
Stop doing her favors! She is just using you..
No, she did not talk about that at all.
She had a friend of her taking the picture the next day.
Yes she must do that ! And she is just so stupid, one day this, and next day she tells me that they have fun togheter ! Almost so i say, then you deserve it ! Beacuse she only use words and dont hold them !
I Just get a call and she told me they where out driving ! Its so fucked up ! Now im starting to get really angry and soon dont let my kids to her place !The children are with grandparents for a small holiday, so they are safe !
Yeah ! It seems like she using everyone around her to get sympati and all, but she keeps accepting it, so now she can blame herself !
Im just so fucking angry now ! I just want to let everything out and on her ! So she know that not to call me again ! I dont feel sry for her anymore ! If she say its over and they are not togheter then she dont go for a drive with him !!
Im hurt,broken and feel like shit right now !!
@sadman29 I understand your anger, but please don’t feel hurt and broken. You did your best to help her in spite of her mistreating you and you shouldn’t regret that you were kind and helped her.
Now that you understand she’s been using you for her own selfish purposes, it’s time to stop helping her!! Yes, tell her not to call you for anything, except as pertains to the children.
Thank God the children have caring grandparents, but if you think she’s not a good mother, you could file for full custody..
I’m very sorry for your situation!
Yes, i really have problems to not tell her what i mean !! Beacuse my heart is something you dont use, and if you do, then you see the devil inside me !!
If she want to stand alone in this shit , then dont come to me when its serious, beacuse now i dont help anymore, now she can get out of my life and i dont give a funk whats happens ! Now om going to make sure that my kids are with me all the time ! And if she want a war, come and get it !!Sry but im so angry right now and its time for her to see that im not there anymore !!
@sadman29. It won’t help to angrily talk to her!! In order to think rationally, you need to calm down. Then take the necessary steps to get custody of your children.
When are you going to tell her to stop calling for favors or to complain about her boyfriend?
I told her yesterday that i wont hear anything about that anymore, beacuse she still live with him and are happy, thats why he dont move out ! So she know now that i wont help with anything and dont want to hear anything more !
She become quiet and did cry in the phone when i told her that ! So mabye she now understand that i dont accept this behavor and now she knows that she lost me for the last time ! And that she are on her one from now on !
It hurts to do this, but she needs to know that im not a person you can use when you wants and need it !
I think i always will feel something for her, beacuse after 1.5 years i still love her, its sad but i did meet my true love in her ! And i hope one day she can be the good person i know she is and that she can get a good life ! Without me it looks like, but i have tried and failed.So things start to change, now her ex boyfriend ia going to move out ! And she is going to live there alone for a While ! And i acctually ask her today if we can hang out someday, and Said that would be nice for both of us ! And her answere was :
We can see if we can do that some day 😊
I want things tp calm down, so that i can breath and get my things right, if you can understanz that !
I would take it, like she acctually want to do something with me, but not right now beacuse she want to fix everything Else first !
That must be a sted in right way ?
@sadman29 Sounds good. Wishing you luck:)
So a little update!
She told me that she has been thinking of us for about 2 years now , but it dont change anything now and i think it never will !
So for the past week i have i dont contact her and i want her to see what her life is without me in it !
She is always afraid that i Will disapare and never contact her again !
And thats the way i am going now ! Beacuse i only have to contact her if there is something with our kids ! So i decide that im letting her go now !
She still wants to be with a guy that abuse her and its bad, abd that tells me that she is not ready for a serious and strong realationship ! And thats why she is not the right girl for me ! So im tired that she tells Lies and never stand up for herself, so now she is on her own ! Im not going to be there for her or help her with anything !So i think she is going to react in a bad why on this, beacuse she thinks that she controlls me, but she dont !
So thats a hard decision, but i know that its rhe right one ! I cant let her play with me anymore or have me around her finger! So last time i talk with her i said :
Good to she that everything is fine and you have a good life again, mabye we talk again, mabye not, time will see ! To then ! Goodbye !
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