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Posts
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DIVjun you’re. Awesome to do this as long as you have and didn’t break NC when someome suggested you to. So what if he called at 3 in the morning.. its great to let them worry about you… you also give me strength to know what to do when their texts begin to get emotional. When he said I’m scared!!! Yeah I bet he is scared to lose you:-)
@divjun sometimes i think no text from them is better
@divjun remember everything you said to me? You and I are in very similar situations. Either way you look at it, you’re dealing with what I am dealing with.
You said you guys were both 20? My ex and I are 18 and 19. Now, I am not one at all to say that you are never too young to love. I do believe at our age you are capable of finding the one. The only obstacle with this situation is that we are all trying to figure ourselves out. You can’t have a strong healthy relationship with another person, if you can’t have one with yourself.
Obviously both of our exes are extremely unhealthy and very confused about what they want in their lives. Guess what? That isn’t either of our faults at all! That’s theirs! I know you and I are still trying to find ourselves too.
What I am saying, stick to NC 100%. No breaks. No nothing. Do not talk to him for a month, if not longer. Not just to grasp his attention to make him realize, but for YOU. This is YOUR time. Be honest with yourself and ask, “What time have I truly invested in myself since we started dating to this point?” I bet your answer will be, “I haven’t invested any time in myself…”
Take this time for you. Find out what you like. Who you like. Evaluate your relationship. Make a decision on who you want to spend the rest of you life with. Keep up with NC and do not give in. Seriously, right now, you are more important.
@ellie96
I totally agree with you. Me and my ex are the same age as you guys. Its true that right now we are all figuring out our lives.I know the advice wasn’t for me but i loved it!
In a way it made me feel betterThankyou!
So I’m assuming maybe you guys were each others first loves? He was mine and I was his. That’s why it is much harder. But there comes a point where you just have to do it. You WILL survive. Read my story?https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/why-is-he-doing-this/#post-33695
Just curious – will your ex definitely miss you if you keep to nc? What if your ex like it that you aren’t bothering him/her?
@catwoman thank you! 🙂
But he was just scared if i am okay or not. He asked my friend and never texted or called me again.
I am going to keep my nc !
@mj i know we feel good and bad at the same time when our ex texted us during nc. But its good to see they are thinking of us.
Anyways, they will definitely miss at some point. At First may be they ll be happy we are not bothering them but when They will wonder where we gone, they will actually start missing us. Be positive.
@ellie96
Thanks for such a long advice. I have already worked on myself even when we were together and were having a bad time.
I have evaluated my relation already and thats why i am trying to be strong. I dont like the person he has become but before that it was so good to be with him. Even right now, i can feel the connection with him in my heart and i can tell for sure that we are getting back together! He loves me i can never doubt that.
He treats me like his wife. Even In the middle of a fight he always used to adress me as his wife. last year prior to our first break up he was getting my name inked permanently but due to some other reasons he couldn’t. It was supposed to be a surprise for me when i wasn’t even talking to him.
In short, he really loves me but i dont know what the heck happened to him and he drifted apart both emotionally and physically. We met last 2 months ago and we live just 5 minutes away!! we haven’t had sex yet@divjun I truly believe he loves you too! I promise, everything will work out for you! Conintuing with the no contact will make him realize how amazing you are. Good luck 🙂
I hope everyone gets back with thwir exs. he didn’t text or call me yesterday. He is just missing me but not realising what he was doing in the relationship. i had talk with him so many times but nothings seems to work. I guess this is the only option left!
wow, just read your story. Its amazing how they are so much alike!
My ex and I also dated for 3 years. He was my first but I wasn’t his. We were friends for two years and he tried asking me out, but I always declined. One day I gave him a shot and look where that got us.Our relationship wasn’t picture perfect. We fought a lot and at the end we weren’t really communicating. I broke it off twice in the last 4 months, but he always came back a couple days later. We gave another shot. One day out of the blue he simply stopped answering phone calls and text messages. He told me he was going to play golf for the weekend with some friends, and that he needed time to think. On Monday I went to his house and forced him a conversation. He didn’t know what to say, so we ended it.
The next day I found out he was with another girl. They were together for the weekend. He off course denied everything and sent his friends to ask me how I was doing. That weekend his best friend contacted me and asked me what I was going to do. Well to make this short, my ex went to the party I was at with the girl, and the minute I left the started making out.
On Tuesday he texted me and at the end he said “lets see what happens in the future”.
I last saw him at his grandmas funeral, and since then he hasn’t posted any pictures with the girl, but he spent the weekend with her and her family.
He stopped hanging out with his friends (they really don’t like his new girlfriend, they laugh at him a lot), stopped playing sports and even dropped some courses.
He’s not being himself witch makes me very sad and worries me a lot but time will tell.
@lolita
You need to let him do this though. The whole fact that no only you, but EVERYONE else around him realizes what is going on. When he begins to see all of you guys withdrawn, it will make him realize a lot. Stick to no contact. All I’m saying is it could be 1 week, to 1 month, to 1 year, to however much time! He will at some point in his life contact you. When that time comes, you’ll either be there or you won’t! Either way, you’ll be confident enough to be happy with your life. Then you’ll know what you want or don’t want!@elli96
Totally!
He’s in the process of growing up and I can’t do anything about that.Thankyou for your advice!
how are you doing?
@lolita
You’re welcome!
And I’m okay right now! I mean, I know that I am doing the right thing for NC and as of right now my honest goal is to not get back together at all. It is to put myself first for once and take care of me. This will help him by showing him that he cannot keep treating the people he loves and who love him like this. That he will drive them away. He has driven me away. In a way it is exciting, but it is weird. Like, I know I can live without him, and as of right now the wounds are still fresh from the verbal abuse I got last Tuesday, so I don’t really know how I feel. I definitely know I am numb to the situation. I’m fully committed to letting go and believing that whatever is mine will be mine at some point. However, it would be really nice for him to realize and regret. Not for revenge (at first I thought that is why I wanted that and I felt awful), but for recognition.. I want him to recognize everything I did to him and what he did to me.. I know he was in love with me and my brother told me last night “I know he will miss you. You guys had a connection right from a movie. He will regret it.” I just want him to realize and I hope that his boss (girlfriend thing or whatever she is haha) doesn’t compare to me. I already know she doesn’t (obviously our values and morals are very opposite and he seems to find mine to be wife material) but it still bothers me. It bothers as to why he has been trying to contact me since that night. He didn’t try that hard before then. So why now? Today he hasn’t tried, but I think it is because he got the hint. Idk. My mind is in a loop haha!
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