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Thanks Laura,
I know you’re right, I will try my best. Sometimes its hard, but we all know that. I am going to take the time to to focus on myself and improve. I wont take him back easily if he does come back, hes gotta show me that he wants me and is willing to work on problems.
He wants to see me Thursday before I move, I said id think about it. He saw one of my snapchat stories and…
Heres how the convo went:
Him: “You’re leaving on the 7th, no finals?”
Me: “Yup! I know youre jealous. Haha”
Me: I probably wont see you before I leave, but thats okay there’s always July.”
Him: “What about Wednesday or Thursday night?”
Me: “Maybe Thursday cuz I have class on Wednesday, and Ill be carrying a lot of stuff”
Him: “Okay, haha. Just don’t make me leave early this time”I know I shouldn’t have responded, but wanted to be civil and I was very weak last night. Our last conversation before that was very heated and I said some nasty things to him. I am trying to show that I am a stronger person, and I am not affected by him. I want to seem more attractive to him by being independent and not clingy or a b*tch like I was the last time I saw him.
Good or bad? I already know I messed up NC, so no need to shame me for that. Haha. Just want some thoughts. Thanks!
I think you did pretty well in the conversation especially by not conveying you are super eager to see him again. What next? Will you guys meet up on Thursday?
I fear that meeting him so early may play with your mind and you will end up in torture for the next two months. However, on the other hand, he may have important things to tell you about your relationship. We can only speculate at this point. Whatever you do, good luck and keep updating the thread.It’s a hard call. I think I might.. but sometimes my mind tells me I shouldn’t. I guess we will just have to wait and see how I feel when the day comes. I will definitely tell you what happens!
Laura,
The more I think about it, the worst I feel about it. I really want to see him. But you could be right, it might make me miserable for 2 months. I get this bad gut feeling when I think about him, because all I think about is him sleeping with other women. But, at the same time.. if I show him it doesn’t affect me is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Hmmmm…it’s a hard decision, indeed – maybe it would help taking some time to reflect a little before this meeting; ask yourself a few questions:
– what do I want/expect from this meeting?
– could he have changed in such a short time and is repenting it all? (unlikely, but…)
– what can he possibly tell me now that 1) I do not know already or 2) is credible/reliable for the future?
– if the meeting goes miserably, how will I cope after that?And most importantly, if you choose to meet him, it helps to tell yourself beforehand that no matter how hard he may try to provoke you, you will NOT be nasty and b*tchy; instead you will respond with a smile and a positive attitude (you can of course cry later on when you are alone but he should never know!). You will be surprised – guys love to bring out the worst in women during a breakup so that they can throw it back at them later… Don’t fall into the trap, you will thank yourself down the road 🙂
You’re right. If I went to the meeting I would want it to be really chill. Honestly, I wouldnt wanna talk about the realtionship, id just wanna hangout and see if we can be civil. Is that a good plan? I dont think hes re thinking things yet, its only been a week since the bad blow out and 3 since the BU. I think he just doesnt want us to end on bad terms. And maybe he just doesnt want me to hate him. He said he hates it that I think so poorly of him.
I dot think I’m gonna go. I’m 90% sure hes still sleeping with this other girl. So it’ll just be harder on me because I know that he doesn’t want me anymore. Ill just let him be, and maybe in July if I’m still around he can come to me if he wants.
Does this sound okay to send to him?
“I think I am gong to have to cancel thursday. I do not believe it is in my best interest if I see you while, I assume you are still having relations with another women. Thats is out of respect for myself. I have worked very hard on myself the past week and I believe meeting wouldnt be wise. Best of luck in your future”
Or should I just say like, im busy thursday and leave it at that?
My personal take on this is to keep your text/email fun, very short and a little enigmatic. Let him wonder…………………… At times, “less is more” and I would say this applies here.
Now that you have given more info, it gets trickier to actually know what’s going on. Asssuming he is still seeing the other girl, then he may have initiated this meeting because he feels bad about the breakup and wants to keep any further interaction between you two “decent” …Maybe he is trying to seek closure to feel better about himself. Well, call me a mean b*tch but I would not grant him this privilege, not yet at least. I would do it when I feel great about myself :)) But again, it is your call and I am sure you will do eventually what you think it works best for you.
So, do you think I should jut text him “hey, I think im gonna have to cancel Thursday” and leave it at that?
Im afraid hes going to just be like “ok”
Or what do I say if hes like ‘why?”I would write something like this – here is an example…
“Hey, X – wazzup? Cant make it on Thursday, sorry. Got a full plate before leaving town. Raincheck for July? ”
if he says yes to July – reply with a positive tone:
“Lovely, looking forward to it”
and leave it at that.I would wait until Wednesday evening to send this out – because you never know, you may get second thoughts about it and want to show up…Keep your options open for now..
I like the idea of something like that. And yeah,I wasnt planning on sending it until wednesday.. because I could change my mind so easily. Thanks for the advice.
kiok, youre a guy right? So whats your take on why he would want to see me? To have power over the situation? Maybe because he doesnt want to end on bad terms. Part of me really wants to go and just have fun. But another part of me is telling me no because he has caused so much hurt already.
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