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That’s good now keep it up because she wants a man who can handle stress. Be happy and follow her advice. And don’t go wishy washy. If you don’t know what to say to her ask people. It may push her further if you say bad stuff.
Thanks again for all the advice. Yeah I’m going to go back into complete NC with the exception of sending her a happy birthday text next week. My plan is still to be ready by the end of this month and I believe in myself to do it. I just need to stick with the plans I have set for myself. I will probably have a couple more questions but I’m going to save them when it gets closer to me being ready. Thanks again.
She texted me yesterday and I want to make I handled it correctly.
She started by saying she was going to a bible study last night and that I should join a bible study group too since I just started going back to church and she said she wants to talk but not sure if to wait when she finishes her fast first. I texted back saying I have joined one and it starts next week and said we could just get a drink since she is fasting and when is the fast over?
She responded saying that her fast will be over by the end of the month. I texted saying what the fast was for and said maybe we should wait till her fast is over since I wanted to take care of somethings.
Her response was don’t do anything for but for myself and that I might regret doing something for her. Followed by why she is doing the fast. I responded saying that I hope the fast is going good for her and assured that the time between now to the end of the month I’m taking care of myself and further that by saying that I was going to get a massage this Friday.
About an hour later she responded that she is getting a massage too this Friday and hope I like mine. I sent one more text saying Yeah we need to treat ourself sometimes. Followed by hoping her bible study was good and that I’m getting in the shower since I just got back from working out and wished her goodnight and ttyl. She didn’t respond after that.
Did I do anything wrong or was what I did okay in letting her know that I would like to see her at the end of the month?
You shouldnt have said the last part. Its okay tho. It somehow feels for them that “goodnight” is an affectionate word. And we shouldn’t shower them with affection. Just be cool for now. Dont stress it out.
I’m not stressing too much. Just wanted to make sure I handled the situation okay and didn’t say anything I shouldn’t have said. I remember reading Kevin said that if she texted me during NC that if I reply to keep the conversation short and that was my goal.
I guess I thought saying goodnight was okay since the last time we texted each other she ended the conversation and told me goodnight but I’ll remember that for next time. Thanks for the reply and now back to my NC. Got a nice relaxing weekend coming up that I’m planning on enjoying.
Update
MEnding NC this week and plan to ask her for coffee tomorrow but actually get the coffee on Saturday. I feel a lot better about myself and did some other things Kevin mentioned in his email series. Still a little nervous (mostly her not replying) but I do believe I’m ready to see her again. Only thing that happened while in no contact was last week the day before her birthday she sent me a text asking how my week was going. I replied about a half hour later as I didn’t see the text right away since I was doing something at the time and sent her a text back saying it was going good and said two things I was doing that week and asked her how hers was going. She didn’t reply back. Made me a little nervous but I kept my cool. Looking forward to having a good time with her. Wish me luck.The meet up went great! We decide to get lunch instead and talked for a good 2 hours and we didn’t bring up the past at all.
Only little awkward thing that came up, she was talking about looking for a new apartment to live in and she made a little notion on what if we got a two bed apartment together and were room mates. After that she made a joke about what my parents would say and moved on from that. Other than that we had a good time talking.
Towards the end we’re talking about movies we have seen and talked about up coming movies we want to see and I made a little notion that the next time we hangout we should see a movie. She talked about a theater that might be close by that we could do that at. After that she made the notion on leaving and I walked her to her car said bye and said I hope we can hangout again soon and she gave me a big smile and said yeah.
I felt good the whole time and glad it felt that it went well. Trying to think what I should do now. I’ll be out of town next weekend but is asking her to hang out again the weekend after that too soon? Should I try texting her again in little conversations? I want to make sure my next move is right.
Well i think it is too soon. Don’t go on too over enthusiastic. Just remain cool. Why? That’s what you feel right now correct? Cool so just maintain it. Because it is your greatest weapon. Ending a day with a smile is the best way to impress her. It shows that you are still a fun person to be with. An interesting text is good but dont devote your time to her. She’s not a priority now because she is just a friend for now. And you dont want to go on being that guy who cahses again. Good for you bro. Keep that momentum up.
Thanks Nightdeleon. I guess I’m still trying to figure somethings out. I guess hanging out again in a couple weeks is too soon since Valentine’s Day is coming up and I know it’s too soon to do something romantic for her. Yeah after seeing and our meet up going well does want make me want to see her again but I know I can remain cool. My next question is how long should I wait to try and ask her to hang out again or is it now I’m waiting for her to suggest the next one? I guess I’m not sure what am I waiting to see her do next?
Why not make arrangements for a day with her. February 14 is the date. Why? Getting that day right would do you great. Plus you have lots of time to plan for it.
I thought it might be too early to do a Valentines date but you are right. I’m going to put some thought into it but I guess my only question at the moment is what is the best way to ask her out on it? I’m sure a text won’t do but would calling be better? Should I call it a date or would that make her back off and go defensive? Getting flowers a good idea? Surely not roses at this time but some other pretty colorfully ones. Only thing I know for sure that day is that she will have church that morning but I feel sure she won’t do anything else the rest of the day so I do believe I have a chance at it. Just got to make sure I don’t say something that I shouldn’t.
A simple “hey let’s go to church together” is fine dont over think the day. It’s feb 14. More than a week away. So try not to fret too much. A simple text will do. Why call? It will show neediness. Try to be calm. Flowers? Roses are good. But not red. Try other colors. Light peach or light pink. A single rose. Don’t spend too much. You are not together thus you are not obliged to give her stuff that she doesn’t own. Namely you. So don’t go too enthusiastic about valentines day. She’ll go on the defensive faster than a snap of a finger. Stay on your path bro you are doing awesome.
Thanks for helping me. Going to church sounds good. Only thing I can think of right now is she might say is the distance between us is too far. Depending on traffic we live roughly 30 to 45 minutes apart in a big city and both our churches are close to where we live.
I can see asking going to church like this, I say “hey would you like to go to church together this upcoming Sunday”, then she will probably say “I don’t know our church’s are far away”. Is it okay if I make the offer to go to hers and pick her up or just meet her at her church?
If we do church then I will plan a nice simple lunch somewhere for after church and then some kind of fun activity after that (i.e. movie, bowling or maybe shopping) and probably call it a day after that.
Our distance is the main thing I see her using to say no but I will give it some thought. I do want the day to go right if she says yes.
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