-
Posts
-
Dear Kevin,
I met a man in May 2015 who wasn’t my type, looks wise. I wasn’t sure about him to begin with especially when he told me he lost his wife to breast cancer in December. I kept him at arms length but he wouldn’t leave me alone & soon we were seeing each other almost every day. He just couldn’t get enough of me. It was intense & he swept me off my feet. He came away with me to my holiday home & we had an amazing time together. It was here he told me he loved me, only 5 weeks being together. But it didn’t feel strange as we’d spent so much time together & it just seemed so easy. We just fit so well together.
He introduced me to his family & friends, we went to dinner with his mother & everything seemed great. He spoke about our future & what he wanted for both of us. He was very affectionate & loving. Always touching me & holding my hand. Kissing & wanting to make me happy, which I was. I too had told him I too wanted to ensure he was happy and that if at any stage something upset him to let me know so that we can resolve any issues.
Almost 4 months being a couple, he left to go to his eldest son for the w’end for a planed trip. He acted like he didn’t want to leave me & kept kissing me, walking to his car he blew kisses & even driving down the street he was waving until he was out of sight.
Five hours later he broke up with me. No reason given, didn’t want to chat on the phone or responded to my texts. For days I tried to get an explanation so that I could understand but nothing. He became very cold & acted like he never had any feelings for me. After a few weeks he asked if we could remain friends, maybe have a friends with benefits situation. I was so hurt & upset that I told him exactly what I thought of him. I was cruel & I know I hurt him. But I was in so much pain I had to let him know that what he did to me was wrong, cruel even.
My heart is broken, I allowed this man into my heart & he trampled on it without any regard to how I might be feeling. Something I never thought him capable. He had always been so loving & caring. His behaviour shocked me.
I have been trying to find out if the 30 day no contact would be suitable for this scenario. A widower who possibly now seems not ready to be with anyone.
I have given him space & not contacted him but he keeps telling me of his memories of us together, but still only wants to be friends which kills me.
What should I do? I want to be with him so much & my emotions are on a roller coaster. Should I just leave him or stand by the 30 day rule? Am I wasting my time?
I just don’t understand such intense feelings one moment then nothing the next. He says he wants to know what I get up to & that I’m happy… How can he? I feel sick.
Your advice would be much appreciated
Curly xI think the 30 day NC would be a good thing. If you don’t respond then it will give him space to reflect and miss you. It sounds like he messages a lot so perhaps just tell him you’d like some space and time and start the 30 days.
I wonder if visiting his son had an impact. Perhaps it stirred up some feeling of guilt in him having moved on so quickly or perhaps he felt he was betraying his son..or maybe his son wasn’t happy with the situation?
Whatever the reasons I think a little time with no contact would give you both time to reflect and miss each other. It’s certainly worth a try.
It’s not easy I’m struggling ..for me it’s been a week. I’m wondering why he hasn’t contacted me at all.
But…be strong. Look after yourself. Let him miss you.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.