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Me and my ex boyfriend have been broke up for five months. When we broke up, he said his feelings for me had changed. We just started talking two months ago after he broke with his new girlfriend. He says he wants us to be friends again. But he is hot and cold with me. So, i was wondering if there was a chance we would get back together.
There might be a chance if he’s willing to talk about what went wrong in your relationship and why his feelings changed and only if both of you want to try to repair it and start a better one. But if he just wants to be friends, there’s nothing you can do to change his mind. It’s up to you whether you want to accept that situation or not.
If he’s being hot and cold, I don’t think you’re going to get to a genuine conversation about the shortcomings of your past relationship and how you can build a new one. The fact that you took the time to ask if there’s a chance you can get back together again means you CANNOT be friends at this time (Some people are capable of doing so after more time has passed – 5 months is not long enough, others can never be friends with their exes). Furthermore, those types of friendships are often one-sided, where one person genuinely believes that they have a healthy friendship, while the other person is secretly pining over their “friend” – causing more harm than good. For example, I remained mutual friends with a couple that broke up and later decided to “be friends,” mostly because all of their friends were mutual friends. She’s totally indifferent to the situation and as far as I can tell has no idea how much of a mental toll it takes on him whenever they hang out.
If you want a relationship, don’t settle for a friendship, hoping that it will turn into something more, later; it won’t. If you want a relationship, don’t settle for hot and cold. Stop bringing up “us” and “what if” until you CAN have an honest conversation with him. This will save you from a lot of emotional pain.
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