Dunno what to do

[Misskitty]

Hi everyone !

This is the first time I’m posting on a forum but I need some advice.. It’s been almost 1 most since my boyfriend dumped me (we were in a relationship during 7.5 years). The main reason for this break up was the routine actually. We weren’t really intimate in the end, we were arguing all the time about little things (chores, …) and he was tired of that et decided he wanted to enjoy his life. Also we were about to buy a house together and he doesn’t want commitment anymore..

During the last few years, he told me again and again that his ex girlfriends was better than me especially in bed. I believed him because I loved him but this is a really harmful thing to hear and I felt shattered. I started to loose my confidence and I didn’t want him to touch me anymore and I started to reject him for sexual relationships. After being rejected after all these years, he told me that he needs to seduce other women in order to know if he can appeal someone.

But, because there is a but ! We talked a lot after the break up and he admitted that he lied about his ex gfs and I wasn’t bad at all… I felt so sad and being manipulated… I started No Contact during 5 days, he texted me all the time to have some news but I didn’t answered. After these 5 days, I went back to our flat (I was on holidays so did he) and he was there even though he told me that he was going back to his parent’s home. And he never left…

One day (after 2 weeks), I feel ashamed but we had sex and since then we have sex everyday… I feel free from all these lies and I have the feeling that I’m finding myself on this subject. It’s more passionate, more intense. And everytime, he said me : we’re single, I don’t want to hurt you.
But I don’t know, I’m afraid this is a big mistake and I don’t know what to do..

I want him back, the NC is difficult since we live together… I’m afraid having sex with him is like to have a little part of him… What should I do ?

(Today he send me a text saying he was nostalgic about all these years, our trips, our complicity…)

[patricia12]

It concerns me that he would verbally insult you by comparing your sex performance to other women. It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t true. What matters is that he would sink to that level and intentionally emotionally hurt you. Instead of having sex, first you two need to sit down and have a calm conversation about what went wrong during the relationship. You both have to admit your parts toward the disintegration of it and what you’re both going to do to make things better.

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