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Boards Reconciliation Don’t know what should I do now

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  • #113875
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    samovarhogin
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 1

    Hello everyone.

    I’m 20 and I’m from Russia, and I’ve read numerous articles and bought books in Russian on different blogs and websites and feel it is useful to gain some information on English-speaking forums regarding my problem.

    I have to say that information on this website pretty much summarizes the information I’ve gathered upon the topic of getting ex back. But up to this point, I feel that I should get some advice from people on this forum, as I don’t know what to do now as I’ve been going through the No-Contact period for roughly a month and I don’t feel that there’s any progress.

    My problem is: I had been in a relationship with my ex for 4 months, we are both studying in the same college, everything was going perfect. We broke up in August, 2019, and I was the one who decided to break up, because she had to lie to me a lot. She said that she had a problem with trusting to anyone and I was the first boyfriend she could open up to so easily, but the facts that I found out about made me make this decision.

    The month before the breakup we both decided that we needed a pause in our relationship. The month passed by, everything was going fine, but then I found out the truth that made me furious and I said a lot of unnecessary and rude things to her, and after that our relationship finally came to an end.

    After that, I tried to apologize for my behavior and acted like I was guilty in this breakup, that I could cope with her lies and after time we could both fix this and have a perfect relationship, but she didn’t understand it and kept on blaming everything on herself and said that she wanted to be alone, without starting any relationship.

    Up until December I screwed very badly, I started to show my needy behavior, did stupid things that killed her attraction, she said that she needed “a man who is emotionally stronger than she is”, and was trying to convince me that I was a perfect boyfriend but she felt that I could only be a friend for her.

    I finally decided that this had to be stopped, directly told her that we should not contact with each other. But instead I decided to follow my gut instinct and did whatever I could to impress her and express my feelings, and she finally stopped me by saying that she lost feelings for me and everything I was trying to do for her was senseless, as we both agreed to stop communicating.

    After this, the month has passed, I’ve changed my attitude towards certain things in my life, stopped being emotional and accepted the fact that I have a lot of work to do to be better, but I still don’t think that after all my mistakes it is possible to get her back, even though she didn’t block me anywhere or ever displayed her negative feelings towards me.

    When I see her she ignores me back, and after she told me that she didn’t love me anymore she started to upload photos of herself in her Instagram stories, which she had never done before.

    I am concerned that I want to bring her back after thinking about everything that’s been happening in our relationship. And yes, she’s been concerned about her trust issues and we’d been both working on it before I decided to put our relationship to an end.

    All I want to know is there any chance of bringing her back and starting everything from scratch? I know that for now all I have to do is to improve myself, but will it be late if I take too much time?

    #113882
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    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2342

    @samovarhogin You’re the one who broke up with her because she lied a lot. You were rude and needy. Continue no contact and work on self improvements. In a month or two get in touch and ask to have a catch-up meetup. Ask if she wants to get back together. She will probably say no or be reluctant, but you won’t know unless you ask.

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