Do I start NC over? Don’t know what to do next..

[d.]

Hello,
My ex broke up with me on May 31, the only thing he said was that he needed space. The day before we kinda had a break and then he regretted it and we immediately got back together & I was so emotionally drained from that that I left. I take it that he’s confused honestly. He keeps telling me that I’m amazing & the best girlfriend he’s ever had & it was “the best year, 4 months and 16 days of his life. we did have a little disagreement about me hanging out with his mom, which he wanted, that day before but I had so much going through my mind about being gone for so long that I said I probably couldn’t which I explained was so I could change my mind later if I had the time without giving false hope. Maybe I should’ve just said yes. Though sometimes I feel like this is a cover-up considering he didn’t want to see or speak to me at all. He did say he felt that God was telling him to leave me for a long time & I’m religious too and all but I just don’t believe that, I believe though, that God told me to be patient to be with him. He said he was still trying to understand it and that I know what I mean to him but like??? I don’t get why it was so hard for him to see me.

Later I asked if we could talk and he made it clear he didn’t want to see me honestly (he was really rude to me considering we live in different cities and I was going to be in his city for a month and he broke up with me Day 2 leaving me with no transportation or contacts in the city). I saw him once (I went out of my way) and it was fine then he slowly went back to being cold towards me. Anyways, I did spam him (regrets),& I did get blocked. I was always kind though, I think my fam might have said some mean things though but I’m honestly not sure. I tried NC but broke it about a week later to “elephant in the room”, he responded. I texted him again a couple days later, he responded, faster I might add. I tried on the 17th today with a question, no response. Am I confusing him & why wouldn’t he want to talk to me? Perhaps he needs to learn to face problems on his own besides hiding behind his mom? Should I try NC again? Is it ever too late considering it’s been a month and a half? And, if so, how long should NC last this time?

Might I add, we’re in college so we were together since April the couple months he was here, I told him I’d stay with him if he left, (which made him think I was the one¿) & he went to school back home for the summer and school year. We would visit each other, once a month usually and in 1 month he’ll be back in my city, at the same school so I’ll actually see him. It’ll also be my birthday in a little under a month if that adds anything.

[patricia12]

You smothered him too much with texting. Go no contact for a month. Then when you see him at school, see what happens and let him be the one to make contact. Good luck.

[d.]

I think your absolutely right! I wish I wouldve stumbled accross the exback website sooner but oh well. After he didnt reply it kinda helped me go back into the “I dont need anyone who doesnt need me” state of mind I had long before we started dating. This is Day 5 and I feel better about NC this time and I have a strong feeling he’ll contact me- though my hopes aren’t up of course and if he dosent, college is filled with new people. Granted, I still get sad about it at times and I miss him of course but I dont desire to text him like before. He knows how to contact me.

[patricia12]

Okay, day 6 of no contact. Keep it going and don’t contact him again at all before you see him at school. It will get easier to resist with each passing day. You’re right; you shouldn’t want or need someone who doesn’t want you! Don’t remind him of your birthday and don’t be upset if he doesn’t mention it. Just let go and enjoy making new friends at college. Forget about all the family drama and focus on your studies.

[d.]

~Day 6

Thank you for the support! Yeah it gets hard sometimes but at this point I don’t know what else to say to him without him coming to me. He might’ve replied to me but I never got it because I was using a different app to text him but Im not going to break NC to find out. I’m going to a really BIG concert next week in his city with a friend, before I was going to tell him about it but I’m thinking I won’t and I’ll just take pictures instead.

[patricia12]

Enjoy yourself at the concert and this time with your friend, but DON’T tell him about it. Don’t do anything to try to get his attention! Four months isn’t very long for a relationship and hopefully you will meet someone new that enjoys being with you, treats you with kindness and respect, and who meets your needs and desires. It will take time to get to know another guy and his personality and good attributes. Don’t jump into another relationship too quickly and don’t smother the next guy with texts or calls. Let the man lead and take the initiative to ask you out on proper dates. Good luck:)

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