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ok, interesting point dragongirl.
I must admit its much better if he is the one who will say lets get back together in time. But what if he just doesnt say this since he has both of the women in his hand now and Liz showed him that she will be there for him even though she knows he is dating other woman. I was just worried he will take her for granted and not make any further step. I would really like to hear your view on that. Thank you.Oh I definitely agree @dragongirl… The majority of this stemmed from the fact that he felt like he never gets to make his own choices and when I was whining and begging for him to come back a week ago, he felt like once again, I was trying to make his decisions for him. So I definitely like the idea of this being all his. I do also worry though like jasminka said… That what if he doesn’t decide? What if he just keeps both of us around?
And I know I have history with him so I shouldn’t be so worried… But I am. I am so terrified that he’ll go out with her tonight or tomorrow or whenever and think that she’s the greatest person on the planet. He said he liked her a lot… I just worry that he’ll find things in her that are so beyond perfect and won’t want me. I’ve been trying to hold my anxiety off all day about it but it keeps coming at me.
We’ll spend probably an hour together today though still getting things cleaned up and ready for the landlord… So maybe I can do some more flirting and of course my vibrant happy self. I’m so happy he said he noticed the change in me. Last night was just so great. Being in his arms and he’s kissing me and telling me how beautiful I am. I just hope he didn’t get scared by it and now he’ll keep his distance or something. He said he was so determined to not come back and I’m worried his stubbornness will help him to stay away from me.
I’ll keep trying though.
I just wish I knew if he was going to choose her or get back with me.
Hi Jasminka,
If a guy is truly in love and a girl has his heart, he will step up and say something about getting back together. He really won’t have a choice. He will be unhappy dating any other girl and every relationship will fail because he’s not with the girl he’s in love with. Liz should wait until he speaks up and says something. It’s not like he’s clueless about her feelings right? I know she’s said a few times that she tried to tell him that she just wanted a shot with him. He will miss her terribly if she’s the one for him. And it looks like he’s already missing her by his behavior. If she goes LC with him, she has a great chance of getting him back. So that does mean that she doesn’t sleep with him anymore so like you said, he won’t take her for granted.
Liz, the not knowing is the worst part of any breakup! I understand how you are feeling. Try to channel your anxiety into anything that you like doing so it doesn’t take over. Yes continue to flirt with him. You thinking that she’s the most perfect girl for him is just fear that you have lost him forever. Try to distract yourself. She may annoy him or have other negative effects on him. You have no way of knowing.
As difficult as it is, do not pressure him about making a choice. This is your chance to show him you really changed. That you are capable of letting him make his own decisions and that you consider his needs.
Go LC-Don’t be so available to him after you finish all the things you are doing with the place. If he loves you, he will return.It’s hard… But I know after today I’ll have to find some excuse to not be at the house when he gets off of work. I hate it because he’ll just go see her and spend six hours with her until he goes to his mom’s. But hopefully it’ll make him miss me. I just hate hearing that he thinks they’re more “compatible”. Like… We’re best friends. Okay so we have our differences but that’s what makes us so great for each other. Is the fact that we share things together and we don’t share things together. Why would you want someone who is 100% like you?
I just hope the fact that I know my ex and that we have a history, will help me to come out on top. Like yesterday he was really upset because his ex-wife gave him like one strand of christmas lights. And my ex explained how it felt like a slap in the face to the thousands of strands he’s bought in the past. And the new girl wouldn’t understand that. She didn’t see him come to class every day miserable because of the ex wife. She didn’t see all the pain and shit his ex wife put him through. I feel like that’s something nobody but me will ever fully be able to understand. I saw the break up happen. I saw the divorce happen. I was actually there and that’s a HUGE part of my ex’s life.
I know that seems stupid but to me it makes sense. I miss his kids terribly too… I was reminiscing about them a bit last night. Telling my ex funny things that the oldest had said before. I wish he would think of them as well… They’ve loved me for two years now. They’ve trusted me with things and they both know me as their “other mommy” (The oldest’s words, not mine). The whole thing just sucks.
But anyway. I’ll try not to be so available (totally gonna kill me). And I think I’ll ask him to coffee on Friday. Possibly Thursday since his boy’s game isn’t until almost four hours after he gets off work. I just hope today goes well and I hope that he can come to a decision soon.
Liz, my dear, his heart is with you…
everything will be fine. Just stay extra strong for sometime.
Sooner than you think you will be writing us a big paragraph describing how you got back together 🙂
and i will be more than happy to read it 🙂So he came home. He’s acting pretty distant. Not really offering too much up. We talked about his work like always and then that was kinda it. Now he’s sleeping and I think when he wakes up I’m taking him to the store… So I don’t know.
He asked me to come to the bedroom to help him write a good review of our real estate agent… And while I was there his girl sent him two texts. I feel like all they do is text all day long! I feel like I’m losing him to her :/
I put on a movie and am laying next to him in bed. She kept texting him. All I saw was one of her texts saying “where are you at?” No idea what he replied to her. I feel awful. I really don’t think he’s going to come back to me… I mean he’s still actively with her. He’s going to keep growing feelings for her day by day and I don’t know what to do. @dragongirl I could so use your input right now :/
It’s over for good. I went to his son’s baseball game and there she was… The girl he’s been seeing. I talked to my ex about it and he started getting short and whatever and smiling and so happy she’s there. And so I told her we had sex last night. Of course she doesn’t care. She’ll stay with him. Long story short, I went ballistic and my ex will never see me again. Guess I’m done with this forum.
Sorry to hear! I was busy helping my boyfriend after work so I haven’t been around for a few hours. We are in the process of creating a large spring garden together since we bought a new house. Okay back to you. Why did you go to his son’s baseball game? That’s trying much too hard. You don’t need to go to events like that unless you are back to being a couple. Remember that for next time if you ever have a situation like that arise with any guy.
What exactly did you say to your ex? How ballistic did you go? Its common for one or both exes to go ballistic. Did she get to see this outburst between the two of you?
Sorry to hear! I was busy helping my boyfriend after work so I haven’t been around for a few hours. We are in the process of creating a large spring garden together since we bought a new house. Okay back to you. Why did you go to his son’s baseball game? That’s trying much too hard. You don’t need to go to events like that unless you are back to being a couple. Remember that for next time if you ever have a situation like that arise with any guy.
What exactly did you say to your ex? How ballistic did you go? Its common for one or both exes to go ballistic. Did she get to see this outburst between the two of you? And wtf did she say when you told her you were sleeping with him? I know what you were trying to do with that info bbut she will keep him just to be smug and gloat a that she has him and you don’t. Ugh sry you are dealing with this hell-hang in there.
Damn it-my cat jumped on my iPad while I was writing this. Sry for the typos but I hope you understood what I’m trying to say. If you need someone to vent, feel free to share.
Well I almost wrecked his car. She didn’t see anything. He asked her to leave. And it’s hilarious because she was with her fiancé for five years. They just got engaged in November and were planning the wedding. They just broke up and now she’s with my ex? What the hell ever. Hope they have a great life together.
Part of me is so angry… I could get him fired and send him to prison for fifteen years if I wanted to. In a fucking heartbeat. I’m just so devastated and so angry. That he would come to our house last night and do that shit to me.
It really is over for good though. All I did was shove them closer to each other. He’ll never forgive me for this and I doubt either one will ever leave the other.
Can’t even imagine the pain you must be feeling. So did she say anything to you? Is it the girl you suspected? I wonder what ended her last relationship-did it have anything to do with your ex? I think its going to take alot of time for your ex to move past this incident. You have to do full NC to reverse the damage done.
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