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Posts
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I am planning on going to the gym tomorrow. In fact, I have never been in a gym. I used to love Long-distance cross Country running so being inside never appealed to me.
During Uni i would come home in the evening and go straight back out the door for a run, regardless of the weather. That was on Irelands Atlanic coast in winter so i ran in rain, snow, hail and loved it. I miss that now.
Must get back at it again.Good for you.
Don’t reply to him and you won’t get friendzoned
Yeah, I am certified personal trainer, but I have been slacking off lately because my motivation for training has been down. It´s good to do something useful.
Do you think his action and the way he has been with showing up, texting and so on is he´s way of trying to be friends? I don´t think I will hear from him anytime soon.
It´s only been a bit over two weeks since we broke up. But it feels like forever.
Have you checked out Mark Ong´s way of doing the 30 days no contact? It´s a little different then this site approach.
I say ignore him. It’s tough. I’m struggling today. Really. Day 15 now. She has text nice things. Text old photos. The memories.
But I can’t text back. She may be thinking of me. It looks like it. But not enough yet. The head is turned in my direction but she is not coming this way, or running rather. And remember, she dumped me and had a new man. But she is thinking.
I haven’t replied because I want her to make up her own mind completely without me. And in the meantime I will work on myself. We split up for a reason. If there is any hope of us getting back then I have to fix me first. This is my time.Do you understand?
P.s. He wants you. Of course he does. But let him wonder. Let him think that he has lost you. He will work on his problems. Friends don’t call repeatedly unannounced for a t shirt etc
Yeah I get your point. I am not going to contact him. I don’t want to anything I may regret afterwards, and I always regret stuff like that afterwards even though it feels like a good idea at first, if you know what I mean? So I am not doing that. Even though I have contacted him twice, I am relieved that I have kept my cool and not harassed him with phone calls and texts. There is some positive there. Sounds like you are doing the right things now Patrick. I admire you’re strength not to text back. You are strong. I hope I can still play it cool. I haven’t begged or pleade or anything like that when I have spoken to him. Just been polite, sounded happy (as Kevin has written about in the emails) and tried to be as cool as I can. Sometimes I just wonder if this is him trying to be friendly. And him showing up here is just because he had been to a friends house living nearby me and that it was convenient to drive up to my house as well. So he said the one time. Last Sunday when he showed up and I wasn’t home,he had taken a detour after dropping of his son at his ex house (they haven’t been together in years – they had a really bad relationship, really bad) to drive to my house. And that the way he texted me was not flirty from his side and that it’s just something I have made up in my mind. I don’t know, confusing! I am a little bit scared that he would think that I have moved on when he doesn’t hear from me for weeks and that he will move on as well, or that he might already have a girl in line. I have this crazy jealous feeling about that. I have never felt jealous before.
I know it’S hard. The jealous feelings are natural. But you can control them. They are your Feelings, your emotions, they can be controlled. Your thoughts can’t be but how you deal with your thoughts determines what emotions you feel.
When you get a thought of him with another woman, then stop for a few seconds, acknowledge that it is indeed just your mind playing tricks on you, and carry on. Think of other things, like something good in your life or how you felt when you 2 did something really happy together. You feel better with that thought. So you can control your Feelings!!
Our minds are very powerful. We find it extremely difficult to control them. But we can control the Actions we take. Be strong. Come on here before you think of doing anything silly.
And stop thinking about what he is thinking. Think about you. He wants you. That’s plain to see for me. Just give him his time now to realise that and you enjoy yourself in the meantime. This is all mind games. And you have to win this game and come out the other side stronger
I don’t know why I keep thinking about him with someone else comes to my mind so often. Sometimes I keep thinking that maybe it’s my conscious telling me that there is some truth in the thoughts, but I know that is silly. I know it’s my mind playing me tricks, even though it’s hard to believe sometimes. I try to think of all the good times, but it’s sad to, everything was so great at that point. I will come on here before I do something stupid. I definitely don’t want to do something that I regret doing afterwards. So I won’t contact him even though I want to. I am struggling very much at night. That’s when I think all this crazy thoughts. And keep wondering where he is and if he’s with someone else. I also keep thinking that his actions is just he’s way of being friendly, I am bit confused.
Watch something to go to sleep. Or have a friend stay over.
Have you tried meditating? You should check it up online. Try that tonight and let me know how it goes.
Please try it. OK?I will look up meditation and try that. And probably watch a movie or something. I will call the doctor tomorrow as well so I can get something to sleep on. Cause I am really struggling with sleeping. I am a person that has too much imagination. Do you think there is something in it that when I keep thinking about my ex being with someone else it’s my concious telling me he is seeing someone, or is it just my imagination?
Some People believe that certain People have Special Connections or bonds with other People.
Twins for example can feel each others pain. So, some believe that 2 People who are in love and strongly connected can also feel the other and know what they are thinking.
Then there are psychics also.I personally believe that there is more to everything than what we think we know. I think that I can sometimes feel my ex. Feel her moods or when she is sad. We can’t prove this because that would be a really freaky way to break NC. lol.
But in all likelyhood, it is your mind playing tricks on you. Try to control your mind. Do some Meditation and clear out your mind a bit. “Clear clutter for clarity”.
Do you feel deep down in your gut that you 2 will be back together?? If so, then let it go. Be happy that it will happen and let the future come to you.
Because of our history, everything we have been through and that we always get back to each other (as I said there has been some back and forth this last fall due to his depression – but we weren’t actually broken up), I feel we will get back together. And the way he has been behaving with showing up here unannounced, curious about what I am up to, being flirty on texts, enjoys talking to me on the phone and don’t want to end the conversation – it makes me believe we will. But, at the same time I get this feeling sometimes that he’s done now, this is it, there’s no turning back, he doesn’t want me and he’s just trying to be friendly? Or that he already has someone else in line. It’s confusing. We have a strong connection, and I think I can feel him sometimes. But I think I would have a stronger feeling about him being with someone else if he is. Hard to say. It’s a bit embarrassing to say, but I am a really good investigator online, but I haven’t used my embarrassing skills to check things out because I am scared of what I might find. When I talked to him on the phone on Monday he seemed where happy to hear from me. And he held the conversation going for about 30 minutes, he sounded interested in me but at the same time there was moments that he didn’t sound interested. And instead of ending the conversation when he went into the kiosk to buy something (he went for a walk to talk on the phone with me, as he has lived with his parents when he has been sick and are still leaving there as he’s recovery and change of professional will take some time, and they had company from his uncle as well, so he wanted to talk to me without anyone else butting in), he asked me to hold as he would be right back. Before he hung up he said: we’ll talk soon, okay? I just answered: sure, bye.
He wants you back. You know he will be back.
So don’t worry. Relax. Do not check up things online.
If he is with someone would you take him back anyway? You probably wouldJust chill. Let it happen. Forcing it is doing the opposite of what you feel will happen. The more you force it the more you feel the panic. That’s because you feel inside that you did something wrong.
So chill and you will start to feel the world working as it should for you.
All well be fine. You know that. 😉
I am not going to check up anything, as I am afraid of what I might find, and I don’t really want to know. I would take him back even if he have been with someone else. The only thing I am worried about is how much he’s investigating in another girl if he has one or has one in line. That he will fall in love with the other person and forget about me. Or that he is committed to not getting back together with me even though he wants to. I am leaving him alone and trying to stop thinking about what he’s doing and who he’s with. I feel kind a obsessed at times. But I don’t do anything about it, I just write like a crazy person in these threads, lol. I just need to get my frustration out somewhere, talk to someone. My friends doesn’t think we will get back together and don’t see the point. They just think I should forget about him and move on immidiately. And I don’t think like that. It’s probably because I have always thought my ex is the one. I have never felt like this with anyone else. We are so connected and we have been through a lot, that has connected us even more. I hope you’re right Patrick, that he will be back and not replace me with someone else. I don’t want to be replaced.
You won’t be replaced. Trust me on that. He is thinking about you all the time too.
And don’t listen to your friends. In fact, don’t talk to your friends about it at all. I’ve discovered that my friends and family just got fed up listening. They just say to forget about it and move on. I think that’s their way of saying shut the fuck up, I don’t want to hear about that anymore. So try not to talk about him to your friends all the time.
He won’t fall in love with anybody else. Give him some space to notice that you’re missing from his life. That will shock him. And enjoy yourself.
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