Day 3 of 3rd No Contact

[badboybronstein]

I’m on my third day of my third or fourth no contact attempt albeit this one is kind of forced but I’m thinking it’s because our last encounter was so heated. I’m hoping she will change her mind about me (*fingers crossed*). If you want my full journey through this relationship, I have a thread called “Mass Confusion & How to Proceed.”

Anywho, this is my third or fourth stab at no contact. We have been broken up since a few days after Valentines Day 2016. After all my other attempts I have gotten jealous, needy, angry, and also tried to force things. I believe this is due to not using NC for it’s intended purpose. I would either not be fully healed from our other encounters or I would end no contact early. Only this time she has blocked my number and told me never talk to her again. She’s with a new guy, that she says she only has a fraction of the connection she had with me but still she really likes him. She has been in 3 relationships since our breakup and all of them have failed. I’m staying hopeful that I’ll have another opportunity at being in her life after months of failing. I do still love her. Everytime it goes south between us,we still end up crossing paths, but I’m not so sure this time. I now know that I have anger and jealousy issues that come hand and hand with my anxiety, depression, and lack of self love. I have problems keeping my emotional center. If you have the time, please do read and comment on my other thread. It’s a lot but it will give you full detail on my experiences.

Okay, so everyone has just told me to move on and of course that’d be the easiest route to take, especially after the shit we’ve put eachother through. But, what I’ve realized from a close friend is that one of my main problems is I compare my life goals/situations with other people and that is one of my biggest downfalls.

Does anyone think it is possible that she will want anything to do with me, again? Each time I’ve applied no contact she has gotten back in touch. But she tests me and my old problems come afloat to extreme measures. This time she has told me to never talk to her again and blocked my number after we got into a giant argument.

She has only been in this new relationship for a week, but I can already sense him being overcontrolling. I am a good judge of character and have called the downfall of all her relationships after me. I feel like she hates me now and is void of all feelings for me. This is a scary feeling.

Has anyone else had to try no contact multiple times to get any results?

We both had a connection that was exclusive to us. She has never felt that way about someone and neither have I and she still admitted it even on bad terms.

Do you think if I use no contact this time and actually get to the bottom of why I’m such an unhappy person that she will at least consider me? She also has a lot of things going on in her life. Awkwardly enough what keeps me hopeful is that she is the type of person to jump guy to guy to avoid being lonely and they rarely last more than a month. She likes them but she loved me. Do you think this gives me an advantage if I just give it time and actually improve myself?

In the summer I was a depressed stoner contemplating living and pursuing no kind of career and even ended up homeless at one point. To now, where I am actually working on my career and future and myself as a person.

I don’t believe she wants me gone forever, but I do think I need space to subside my intense feelings and emotional instability as does she.

I just hope she isn’t completely indifferent to my existence and my absence even if she initiated it.

For now, I will let her new relationship take it’s course while I improve myself. But I’m scared because she was putting on how happy she is and how she has never been happier and even trying to make ke jealous. It’s only been a week, could she really be this into him already? I’ve heard her say almost these exact words before, to her giving in and contacting me before the end of my no contact.

I’m going to see how I’m feeling and what vibes I get after 30 days, if I still feel weak I will go 60 days.

Sorry for writing so much, but I needed to get my feelings out.

Any advice, comments, recommendations would be GREATLY appreciated.

Thanks,
B

[sadman17]

I’m not sure how things are going now but you are close to 30 days now. I would read your entire story, but I know it has to be really long. Anyway I’m in a similar situation, but me and my ex have been broken up two months. I don’t know if your still posting or not but I would like to hear about your current progress. Maybe I could give you some advice depending on your current situation.

[Author]

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