Dating during no contact

[Evexia]

Hi, I am on Day 9 after restarting no contact which I broke on Day 18 the first time. Last message was from him 4 days ago where he apologised for talking Hard to me… and then he wished me a good life😥😥😥 I am feeling really sad but Just to change my mood I went out to 2 dates, Just dates nothing more
Iam planning on keeping NC at least until middle September allthough it hurts so much. When I Go on a date I dont get super excited or very happy but.. It makes me snap out of my situation.
Is it wrong to do so? Should I tell him if we get back together again?

[patricia12]

You don’t give much detail about the breakup. But no, it isn’t wrong to date others. You’re not a “couple” anymore.

If the breakup was recent, dating other men might make you think more about your ex. And when you get home from those dates, you might be more sad. After you’ve grieved a while and accepted the breakup, you will feel better about dating.

[fanchondo]

I don’t agree with Patricia12. You aren’t emotionally ready to date, even if it’s casual. You apparently need to work on yourself first, give yourself the time to grieve and grow. Give yourself the chance to face your demons and fix whatever underlining issues within you. We all have issues and we all have things we need to work on. There is a reason the relationship ended, if you contributed to the break up then you need to acknowledge it and sincerely work on that. But if you didn’t contribute to the relationship breaking apart then you must wonder why are you wanting to get back with someone that needs to work on their own issues. Chances are you both contributed and you both need to work on your own identity during this No Contact portion. Dating doesn’t help but you are using it as a deflection. You are deflecting and not facing your fears. I know it’s scary…LORD I KNOW!!!! but you need to face it, you need to learn who you are and not use the company of another man to deflect. During this No Contact and Contact time since my ex broke up with me…I have gone to dinner alone, gone to the movies alone, go on walks alone, gone hiking alone, gone to church alone….I do post some on social media (but I always post on social media) I’m learning who I am alone. I’m learning my value and working on those things that caused the relationship to diminish. Because the truth is that this relationship with this man you love might work and then again it might not. I may get back with the woman that I deeply love and then again it might not happen (I’m really hoping it does)…but what I’ve come to realize is that the relationship with MYSELF is so much more important. It’s the foundation that will set the success of the relationship if we get back together or it will be the foundation set for any future relationship. Sometimes we need to just be alone and work on ourselves…..Good luck. Keep fighting

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