-
Posts
-
Hello no. I have no want to “fix” her. This whole thing has me really questioning if I want her. And I think my ex has that mother hen complex. Her first rebound was depressed, living with his parents. and this guy snorts pills and had some type of rough incident that has caused emotional damage.
Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo lol
maybe she likes to feel like she is “needed” and helping these guys out? i have a friend like that. she always likes to pick up guys who are below her because they end up worshipping her. i don’t believe thats a healthy way to have a relationship!
My ex she living with her parents … she kinda complex too coz i dont know what she thinking about .. sometimes she acting weird sometimes nice .. sometimes angry sometimes good … after the breakup she said so bad things to me … she blocked me everywhere … i changed the id and added her again ,, she answerd me saying after the exams ahe will talk with me ,, in the same night we had a call … and she was so nice to me even she dont remember what she have done to me i was like O.O … and she spend her night with me on the phone .. we studied together in the other day and after that she become weird … she closed the call and went to talk with her friends on skype and start to talk bad to me and dont want to see me again or talk to me … Weird life
I read a book that was written by a therapist that said it is important for individuals in a relationship to feel needed. @atea
I just think she likes to feel wanted and needed and feeling wanted and needed involves that mother hen complex.
Time will tell. I shouldn’t worry about her right now. Or her situation.
i agree, @labound. i used to love when my ex needed me for something. she probably enjoys the attention as well form him. you’re right, only time will tell if it will last or not. its hard not worry about and wonder about our exes situations. i feel badly but I’ve really severed contact with virtually all out mutual friends (and there were a lot) because it almost hurt too much to hear about what he’s been doing. I’m becoming a fan of “ignorance is bliss”
I think you should tell your mutual friends that you don’t want to hear about your ex or what he is doing.
š Don’t cut out friends. They should respect your wishes.
I told our mutual friends that I didn’t want to hear anything about my ex from them or anyone else. Luckily, they’re amazing and they understood. They were my friends first and I introduced him to my ex when we were together. Now I’ve moved away and they’re in the same area so still hang out from time to time. I found that a bit awkward at first but realized that if I didn’t know or hear anything about it that solved the problem. We’re adults so if anyone wants to hang out with him I’m not gonna throw a fit about it but I don’t need to know how great he’s doing without me… That said, I don’t wanna lose MY friends on top of losing him.
Divine,
Such a mature approach. And you’re right…you’re adults and everyone should just be respectful and carry on as such.
So last night I had multiple dreams about my ex after having focused (in a positive way) on her before falling asleep. She was crying to me in my dream. We also had heated words about things in my dream. She told me, in the dream, that her new bf wasn’t a good person. I called her out about coming to me with her relationship problems, and that I didn’t want any part of her emotional baggage. I woke up. Then went back to sleep. This time it was lucid..and I began to use LOA. (Law of Attraction) During the lucid dream, I was concentrating on love. Just love. Achieving it, keeping it etc. I woke up, checked my phone.. my ex had called extremely early in the morning. I didn’t call back or text. I just went on about my day. And I forgot about her call. Later this evening, I checked my facebook. This is what was waiting for me….it was from my ex.
“I have so much love for you and you are such an important person to me that I canāt help but feel like I made a mistake by not getting back together with you. But the thing is, is that I did what I felt was the right thing to do at the time. I know that there was a lot of good in our relationship but all I could see was the bad. And youāre unhappiness, and how I fucked up in the end and how even more shitty things were going to be. All I ever wanted to do is make you happy and I felt like I always did the opposite. I felt like everything that you wanted and didnāt get or accomplish was directly my fault and I couldnāt handle that anymore. I thought if we got back together we would get back into that same horrible toxic cycle, but worse. I was unhappy and you were unhappy and I thought breaking up would do us both some good. I think that it has helped me in ways and I am sure youāre killing shit like the boss that you areā¦so good def. came out of this but we donāt have each other.
Iām not even sure what the goal or point of this email is. I guess that I am missing you like crazy and I just want to talk to you and this is as good as it gets, for now.
Honestly this morning was the 1st time since our breakup that I thought, we could get back together and make it work. And then I cried like a little bitch because 1. I ruined all possibilities of that happening 2. You probably hate me. 3. I have a bf 4. Iām pretty sure that you have a gf.
I donāt knowā¦ there is so much I want to say to youā¦I wish that you would talk to me on the phone. I bet your GF wouldnāt like that shit too much. Haha after every time I text or call I feel like I’m the new Gabbyā¦the stalker that just doesnāt get it. Is that what I have become to you?
I hope that you are happy and loving life. Thatās what Iām striving forā¦just having a difficult time missing my baby.-Buddha belly ( <–this was something I nicknamed her after she put on five pounds from a bunch of fruit juice we drank one summer. lol)
p.s that big ass Like thumb that was sent after your last long email was an accident. I was not being an immature jerkā¦just a fyi”
I don’t plan on responding. Have any of you ever watched Wanted? It’s a pretty decent movie. Well, every time I find myself not doing something I should..or vise versa..I tend to use the narration from the movie. (Sounds corny, but it’s just …me lol)
When I think about how I shouldn’t write her back, I say to myself, “This is me taking control of my life.”
Earlier, I was doing something besides homework..I said to myself, “This is me not graduating on time.” lol And I started grinding on homework. It’s just something silly that I do.
Anyway.. what do you all think about my post..?@LAbound, wow!!! that is really an emotional email. I’m sure an email you’ve wanted to receive for a while? do you think its really due to LOA? also, do you still want to get back together with your ex? I’m just wondering because if you do – don’t you kind of want to hear her out and hear what she wants to say? or are you not ready yet?
@LAbound that’s awesome!! Well it sounds awesome bc it looks like shes coming back to you. She finally understands what a mistake she’s made…even if she has a bf it’s gotta be a rebound. She’s acting like that guy doesn’t mean shit to her. I’m happy for you, at least you know how she feels! Do you still want her back? Are you going to respond? Keep us updated! I like your good news
Ly88 and Atea,
At this point, I do not want to reach out to her. I still have changes I want to make to myself, and I find being out of the cycle my ex spoke of gives me an opportunity to really work on myself and my future. I feel so strong, emotionally and mentally…I can’t imagine being with her any time soon. The future is a mystery, and honestly, my yesterday is history. I can only concentrate on myself right now. I’m not looking for love. I am looking for me. This is how I HONESTLY feel.
She let me go. At first, I thought I might die. Just short of a decade together, and she acted as if I was nothing to her. I’m not as sad or angry about it, but I have to respect myself. She’s been so up and down, contradicting, and at times not completely honest. I have to let her know that I demand respect. Not just as her ex or boyfriend, but as a human being that has feelings. My way of letting her understand this is by not communicating with her for a prolonged period of time. I get me back without the stress of reconciliation as well. There would be so much baggage.. I need to be my best and completely forgive her before I could even try.
I thought about a letter like this for a long time. I imagined a lot for a long time. I would even stare out my door and windows, imagining her pulling up and saying she loved me, that she was sorry, and that she wanted to work on the future we always promised each other. Now that I received the letter, I don’t feel as excited or happy as the old me would have been.
She does have a bf. Rebound or not. Her sticking with him when it’s so obvious I am more meaningful to her.. shows me that she is scared to be alone. Which is why, to me, she has relationship hopped. Things might not be going right with the new guy, and she may still think of me as the safety net. I need more time to make sure I have “the power” and I go back on my terms. Not hers. I am not confident she has taken the time out to really understand what she has done. I do, however, believe this letter could be heading in the direction of her being enlightened. She needs to mature before I ever try!
I think by sticking to the timeline I have set, it will be a better reconciliation down the road as a result. And if she does meet someone she falls in love with by that time, I will still be okay. As I’ve stated several times: I love me more.
Atea
I think it is due to LOA, my emotional and mental stability. I am concentrating on me.. thus drawing her in. I am not chasing.. and she’s realizing that the grass isn’t always greener.
It’s not that I’m not ready.. I just don’t have a want to speak to her. I said a lot in the post above. It pretty much explains my feelings on it all. Do I want her? Not yet. I can’t say I never want her back because I really don’t know. I just know..not yet. There is work yet to be done. š
I hope i am the same š … the 2nd week NC and i am still thinking and stuff … i just want to let these feelings go away so i could get back my power
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.