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Posts
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Haha okay I just came back from the doctor and read your last posts. (I’m in bed for a week now and am still not getting better, the worst thing after a break up is getting a cold, seriously…)
So first of all: Don’t analyze what she is doing and what not please. Maybe she IS out having the time of her life, you don’t know. And if she is, it’s great that she is keeping herself distracted well. Even if she is not, the thing that matters is that she is not ready to talk to you and you need to accept that.
Yes that you liked her picture looks needy and doesn’t show that you are strong at all but you cannot change that now. Stop looking at her Snapchat Pictures (because yes she will see that you don’t look at them) and stalk her in general. It needs to get less before you contact her the next time. Use those three days to go out and have fun. Maybe you think those people are immature but I’m sorry to say that you don’t act so mature atm either. I know you are going through a lot, we all are. Our emotions get mixed up and sometimes we are just so frustrated and do mistakes and freak out. But the best thing to do after we fall down is to stand up again, be the better version of yourself, otherwise she is not taking you back if you act this needy!! The thing is also to not only act less needy in front of her but also to be less needy in general! That’s what we all have to work on. Be the mature guy again that you used to be! Ask your friends to hang out tomorrow night and do something nice for yourself without thinking of her. This is your life!
Come on, you can do it 🙂 you came so far but instead of concentrating on yourself more during NC you were rather busy with checking on your ex or thinking about her. I’m also not much better than you yet but we need to take the next step and get more independent.
Let’s make a deal: You are allowed to check her FB profile and instagram MAXIMUM 2 times a day. Same for me with my ex’s twitter and FB. If we won’t do it: the next day no social media at all or we put a euro or dollar into a box or or 50 sit ups/push ups or whatever punishment you can think of 😀 Remember:
You do NC for YOURSELF not for her. YOU need to change during NC. What she is doing during that time doesn’t matter even if it hurts us.
It’s honestly so hard to let go… this is the hardest thing ever!
If I let go it’ll be easier but it’s hard! She could do so many things that would ruin our chances… if she sleeps with somone *poof* I won’t be able to take her back. If she gets over me *poof* that’s over… and so many other *poof* situations that make my brain go wild, it’s hard to focus on anything else… even when I’m out with friends.
I want to focus on myself but when I try I just think *poof* then I get depressed. Sometimes I’m fine then other times I’m soooo depressed.
I 100% agree with you only 2 times a day, it’s hard but I can do it.
Hey serious opinion, have I drastically ruined my chances by liking her photo… it was a stupid mistake. I texted her about it and said I liked how her hair looked so it’s not as bad as just randomly liking her photo but still… honest opinion?
Ps. I hope you feel better, don’t stalk your exes profile 🙂
I know it’s hard that’s why I’m struggling myself. If I knew the perfect spell or medicine for it I’d tell you right away 😀
I started Tinder the other day and am writing with two guys that I might meet up with. Though I don’t want to kiss them and definitely not have sex with them, it’s more to be more confident with dating in general and having a good time by meeting new people. I’m not sure if I should do it yet because I cannot let go and get sad everytime I think about it, too because I feel like I’m “cheating”.
But if you let go, she is also able to miss you properly and realize maybe that she could really lose you, it’s a good thing! If she sleeps with a guy when she is not ready yet, she will come back running to you because it will overwhelm her with any kind of feelings. (I’m not saying she will do it) Show her the person that she is not expecting you to be. I read a lot of Chris Seiters articles online (if you haven’t done that check it out). There are a lot of articles about how to get over your first love or your ex in general which should be a good start to help us. Getting over your ex without really getting over them. I know it’s weird 😀 and especially hard.
No I don’t think so. But I think you should wait longer than Sunday maybe and try and be stronger so you are more confident about everything when you contact her the next time. Remember the *poof* situations are in your head. Those are thoughts your brain creates, like a protection mechanism. You cannot change what happens anyway. But you can change yourself and the way you are thinking. More positive thinking, less negative thinking.
You really think I should wait more than 5 days?
I mean the last text she wasn’t aggressive or rude, she simply said “love the hair but I’m overwhelmed so I can’t talk.
I texted her on Tuesday, messaging her on Sunday seems good no?
Yes but you liked her picture today, so wait 5 days from now on. Don’t worry, she isn’t going to run away 🙂 If you don’t want it to be the Tuesday again, choose the Wednesday. What you are doing here is your old self. Be the better version of yourself who doesn’t “care” about when to contact her next but who cares about a self improvement. You can do it, the extra days are worth it 🙂
What I am concerned about at the moment is that I won’t get back the attraction that he used to have. In all those articles they talk about becoming the best version of yourself and be the ungettable girl. But I am really shy and have social anxiety which I am trying to overcome by group therapy but I’m still not sure if I can be a girl who guys really want because I don’t trust myself that I have that ability. I know I’m not ugly or anything, I just have not much confidence in myself. How can I build up confidence? Do you have any advice as a guy?
Well for me at the risk of sounding self centered. I have always been the “hot one” in the group, I’m funny and outgoing when I want to be, I just need to not care what people think about me.
I went to acting classes (that’s where I met my gf) ever girl there including my ex thought I was good looking…. At times I have a lack of self esteem but I think back to what people say about me..
You need to focus on you, beauty comes from both the inside and outside. If you want to make a change try to be outgoing and have more fun, be random! Don’t go to crazy, remember I’m only 18 and its the norm at this age.
This wasn’t meant for me to say I’m hot or anything just…. be positive and remember that the opinions of total strangers around you don’t matter, be the person YOU want to be. If you want to be better to improve the lives of both you and your ex that’s great! But focus on yourself.
Another thing I find is that guys want what they can’t have. Personally while I was dating Maddie I never really wanted to have sex, that’s why we didn’t for the last months of our relationship (she never instigated or brought it up either) we would just dry hump and touch each other…. Anyways. Now that she’s gone I want to **** her so bad, I can’t get her out of my head, almost every dream has her in it (not lying…. Every fking dream!)
That could be just me… But yeah try not to be so reserved if you’re up to it.
Sorry if I veared off topic 😉
Hahahaha yeah that’s true! I learned to be very confident with my naked body around him and we had no problem having a lot of sex. I think that was never the problem of our relationship. When I went over to see him three weeks ago he didn’t want to have sex with me first because he thought “it will make me miss him sooo much”… bullshit 😀 we had sex and I think I kinda prove him wrong by getting up right afterwards and he was the one coming after me to kiss me and tell me he will miss this and so on. So by disappearing after that weekend with full of emotions and good sex I thought I really was controlling the situation from now on. Until I just messed up on Tuesday. I still cannot believe why I did this and I really shouldn’t have answered him first place. I just thought I’d be rude.
I think my strategy now is to not even contact him on his birthday which is in 20 days. I think I wait until the week after – when the 30 days are up – to send the present (as a late bday present or early christmas present) with a simple card, not much written on it. Maybe like that he might think of me on his birthday, like why I didn’t wish him a happy birthday and so on? Dunno if it’s a good idea…
I think it’s normal you are dreaming of her and believe me: Girls also get crazy when they can’t have what they wanna have 😀 so make her go crazy too 😉
See…. I just took a quick 1h nap and she was in the dream, her friend texted me saying why she didn’t like me.. I’ve had multiple dreams where we’ve gotten back together and a few where I fucked it up terribly.
haha well those kind of dreams happen! Don’t worry about them, they will become less with time.
I just did something very very stupid… I looked at the conversation of the break up when he came back from a concert the next day and we argued the day before.
me:i bet its good
your good at talking nonsense
him:
yeah haha
thanks
looks thanks for talking yesterday
like if we do break up I think I will remember this relationship fondly, and you will always be close to my heart
im sorry if you dont want to hear that now
but i said id say
me: but like
all this talking about breaking up
really needs to stop
this is not good for me
and i totally stress myself and get really insecure
and thats not good for you or me because the relationship is suffering
i just want to enjoy it
thanks for telling me though
and same of course
him:
thanks
im sorry this talk stresses you
but honestly i think we have to accept its going to happen at some point :/
me: but why?
like of course it COULD happen
him:
because I cant be in this relationship, I am sorry
me: but i dont wanna think of this
what?
him: and i just want to be on my ownand the we skyped and everything was over 🙁 I cannot believe that this was happening. I cannot realize the past month (it was a month ago yesterday that that conversation happened!)
I’m just feeling so sad again now
I know it’s hard, try to distract yourself. Try not to think about it.
I actually dont know what to say beyond this point, beyond the fact that it absolutely sucks.
Wish I could just talk to you for hours about our relationships, that probably wouldn’t be good for moving on…
I know, that wouldn’t be very productive I guess 😀
It’s funny how rational we can think about each others relationships but then get so desperate at our own relationship and forget which way the best is sometimes.
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