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AH naah things I had to do unfortunately, went to my hometown to go to the doctor there because I have stress related stomach pain after eating things (no matter what) lately. I guess it comes together to the break up, uni work and other stuff but I hope it’s not too bad so I’ll just wait for the results now. And I was cooking for a friend and planned a travel after graduation next year, that was nice 🙂 But all together I wasn’t thinking much of my ex today which is good.
Just there came the thought of “What if he falls in love with someone during NC?” And I know the thought is a needy one and is going back to my old habits of being insecure but no matter how much I try to distract myself now it comes back to me within a few minutes. Do you have those thoughts too? And what do you do when they come up?
And how are you doing in general today? Keeping yourself busy?
Well I think that since me and my gf had a happy relationship for two years she won’t fall in love with someone after 1 – 2 months.
I also know that if she happens to fall in love it’s probably a rebound and if it’s not, I know that there is literally nothing I could have done so it’s not on me 🙂
Yeah I know that too from my ex. It’s an irrational thought that I shouldn’t have 🙁
No it’s not lol I have that thought all the time. People say they won’t move on that quickly but we always think out partner is the exception.
It’s still hard for me to not focus on my ex, when I’m going about life it’s the same as it was when my ex was in it, because of this I forget we even broke up. When I remember I get sad again, I think of all the things we never had the chance to do… anyways as said before countless times, focus on yourself, treat the situation as hopeless it’ll make it easier to move on plus make you work harder to improve yourself.
About the eating thing, I have the opposite problem I don’t eat anything when I’m sad 🙁 I needed to actually force myself to ear more at times.
Yeah it’s true. Sometimes you just need to hear that again though and kick yourself in the butt to keep on improving haha
Yeah that eating thing also made me eat less cause I can literally not eat anything besides soup because anything else hurts so much afterwards 🙁
Dang, hey a mutual friend between me and her just messages me which isn’t uncommon however she usually tells Maddie what I say. I had a friendly conversation with her, I made it sound like I have pretty much moved on, when she brought up the relationship I diverted or said let’s change the subject lol. I didn’t bash my ex either I made it sound like I have lots of respect for her it just didn’t work out. I also said how I have been improving, none of what I just stated were this obvious when I was talking to her obviously. I replied very well lol I’m proud of myself;)
Hey that’s really great to hear! It’s great how positive you feel now afterwards and I bet it’s also a confirmation of you improving. And it’s also good that she tells your ex so if she’s still a bit mad/angry/cold it could be helpful.
Ugh… my girlfriend has the worst sense of humor for breakups, makes me so anxious lol.
Her instagram bio is “sin sin sin sin sin sin” she had the same sense of humor when we were dating but come on… lol she just makes my mind wander, I read sin, sin, sin and I’m like… what is she doing, how is she sinning? Is she sleeping with randoms!
I know she’s not… well actually I don’t but I’m not really worried about that, I don’t think she would do that lol but who knows she’s changed a lot this month (from my perspective).
Things that changed:
– Contact with me… obviously less to none at all, also cold when relationship talk comes up.
– Her sense of humor.
– She cut 80% of her hair off.
– She posts more often on social media (instagram, snapchat) seems like she posts like 30 – 40% more, could just be me lolJust need to wait until Tuesday, then my mind will be at ease or disappointed, but I’ll have an answer.
If I contact her I’m obviously not going to send like 10 texts saying date me please! But if I send a text like “Hey I’m still using your netflix hope that’s okay lol, anyways I found this show that I think you would love!” See… doesn’t require a response, if she wants to talk to me and says “really, what show?” That’s a good sign but if she responds with “Oh… can you sign out of my netflix please.” OR doesn’t respond that’s obviously not good lol.
She got her hair cut so I can start contact with:
“We’ll things have slowed down, finally caught up with everything. Hey I saw you got a haircut, how you liking short hair?”.Here I’m not saying my opinion this makes her wonder what I think, I however don’t like how I am asking a question, I can’t seem to find any other way to word it without stating my opinion on the hair or sounding rude/dumb. Besides that it says how I am more open now, also brings up a new and exciting topic for her.
What do you think about both those texts?
Any advice for anything I wrote or… pweze gimme some constructive criticism 🙂On another note how are you doing Anni
PS. Didn’t realise I wrote so much… Sorry 🙂
Sorry, I was out and about again all day long and just read your message.
I can totally relate to your feelings about wondering if your ex has changed and why. But you have to look at it again from a different point of view: We all try and handle to “get over/through” the break up in different/our own ways. We post more on Social Media to show off to our ex that we are happy and having “the time of our life”. We change something about ourselves to make us feel better and get the old weight off our shoulders (new haircut, clothes etc). But the thing is, inside we probably still feel hurt, broken and sad about the break up. And we are still ourselves even if we try to pretend to be a “new” happy self. But those things are all natural mechanisms that we put on like a mask after we get hurt. So we don’t look more hurt to other people and also protect ourselves a bit.
I also don’t think she has a different kind of humor, she’s still the old one and you probably also read too much into it as we all do 🙂
To the messages: I think the second one is already better but of course you have the problem with the question and I can understand that you don’t want to “force” her to answer but also wish her to answer. I would write something like “I’d really like to hear how you have been and what you were up to lately whenever you feel like it.”
That way it is an indirect question without the question mark but also leaves it up to her to answer or not, you don’t “force” her.
My day was good, I was busy again and went to the therapist again that I went to see to get to know more about depression because my ex has depression and was really depressed before the break up. Unfortunately she told me that he sounds like he is not able to be in a relationship in general atm and I should be happy with the thought of just being friends with him after NC. Which I of course don’t want to be 🙁 That made me a bit sad again but over all I was able to think very positive and didn’t get too insecure over things today. He also liked photos I posted the other day today soo I guess he is thinking about me but still hasn’t messaged me.
How have you been up till now?
I’ve been okay, sad and happy lol, her photographer friend posted another photo that she looked amazing in so… that made me sad. She has long hair in the photo so I know it’s older lol, at least they aren’t hanging out 24/7
Glad you are happy for the most part, just keep doing what you are doing. He liked your post so he may be thinking about you lots 🙂
So something like:
“Well, things have finally slowed, I’m caught up. Hey, I noticed you got a hair cut, I’d like to hear what you think about it.”haha doesn’t matter 😀 yeah sad and happy describes everything atm pretty well 😀
Hmmm it’s sounds a tiny bit weird in that context… maybe like “Hey, I noticed you got a hair cut! I also wonder what else is new in your life and would love to catch up sometime soon if you like” I’m not sure though… What do you think?
Soo on Tuesday you will contact her? 🙂
It’s already been 2 weeks but yeah probably Tuesday.
I like the enthusiasm you added into it, I think I’ll say:
“Well, things have finally slowed, I’m caught up. Hey, I noticed you got a hair cut! I’d like to hear what you think about it.”
Saying “I’d like to hear what you think sometime” seems kinda… like I’m hitting on her lol just seems weird.
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