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That’s nearly impossible 🙂 If I was at that point I wouldn’t see the point in trying to be with her at all lol.
No I have a class today at 4:00-6:00pm so I need to get ready and leave at 3:00pm because of this I need to sit at home lol.
Meditation won’t work, it’ll just give me a quite and relaxing time to think about her 🙂
What I need is for Trump to step down, Maddie love me, school to be easier and to have my license…
Well but what you are doing atm is still obsessing about her even if you don’t think you do. You cannot think about her nonstop, you and her both have a life besides each other (school, friends, hobbies, family).
By starting to concentrate more on yourself and change yourself (which you have already started so that’s great), you learn to less think/obsess about her (“How will she react? What will she say? Why is she happy without me?” and so on).
Of course we all wonder about those things until we finally contact our exes again but it should be way less than you do right now :/
I thought so about meditation too but the point of meditation is to let go of all your problems and feelings for that while and just relax, it really works 😉 just depends if you let it work yourself
I have had a lot of bad things happen in my life, I got diagnosed with cancer when I was born (beat it), my dad left and is currently an alcoholic who I barley talk to, I have also had other people who I called “dad” leave over the years. I tried meditation, it didn’t help because I am unable to let go of these problems, it often just leavs me alone to think deeply about these things.
My ex-girlfriend was one thing that made most of my problems, fears and doubts go away. For two years we cared for each other (I still care for her obviously 🙂 ) She broke up with me so suddenly, she said she’d been thinking for a couple months but she kept quiet, even through those months she acted happy…
Anyways I tend to obsess when I am left alone for a long period of time, right now I’m alone. My best friend moved too far from me to get there without planning, school is tethering me to my house, I can’t play video games with friends because my headset broke… I don’t even want to play.
I am uncapable of keeping myself busy this week, the only thing I can do is schoolwork which is more painful then silence sometimes lol.
I was doing so good last week, I had lots to do, I was busy. This week I’m not and there is nothing I can do about it, so I’m left alone to think… it’s hard not to obsess when all you can do is work, listen to music and browse online. This week I have just been sleeping an extra 3 – 6 hours when I’m not busy with school, I do this to avoid the boredom…
Sorry for the rant, it’s all I can do right now lol
Oh and that first paragraph was not meant to be a sob story, it was just me explaining why I cant meditate lol
I’m scared to hear that and really sorry that those things have happened to you and get why you don’t want to be left alone with thoughts. Maybe meditation is not the right thing to you but maybe there is something else you really enjoy doing that will make you concentrate on that one thing and forget about all the problems around you. Are you a creative person? You could try out drawing or even those colouring books for adults if you are not the best at drawing (mandalas, I know it sounds like it’s for children but it is reaaally relaxing) and if you are afraid of being alone with your thoughts just turn on some music or an audio book (audio books are so helpful for me). So you have something to listen to and have something “in your hands” (to do), too 🙂 or maybe you prefer sports or video games, you could play a different game on the computer for which you don’t need a headset? Try out something new, what you have always wanted to try out but never did (would be skateboarding for me for example).
I tend to obsess too when I feel left alone (by friends who disappointed me or my ex) but the reality is: you are not alone. YOu have so many people around you who care for you and love you. I know it’s hard to think of that in those moments and you want to grab onto something like nice moments with your ex. Especially with your background it must be very hard.
But please know even if your ex really doesn’t want to be with you anymore after NC and even though Trump will be president of the United States: Life will go on! And you will find new people and new love again in your life, too. I know that’s not what we all want to hear at the moment because I always hate when friends tell me that because all I know I want is to be with my ex but in the end I know they are right. Time heals everything.
On the other hand I also know that we are great for not giving up on wanting to give our relationships another chance because in our generation everything we want is to be in an easy relationship so we are happy, if there are some fights many people pack their bags and leave because nowadays it’s so easy to find someone new on tinder or the internet. Many of us don’t look at what the problem could cause anymore or don’t even look at themselves and try to work on it. And even if we might not get our exes back in the end we can be proud on that we didn’t give up and were working on ourselves to become a better person for our own future 🙂
Christ you are knowledgeable, thank you so much you hit the nail on the head with that lol
I’m watching Jet Li fighting scenes lol, it’s getting my mind off everything.
Thanks again, the more we talk the more I want your relationship to work out. You seem like such a kind person, I’m very glad that you related to my story and decided to post 🙂
Keep me up to date on your relationship please!
Oooups I meant sorry to hear that and not scared to hear that obviously 😀
Me too and I also really hope your relationship will work out in the end 🙂
I just went to skype to check something and saw a lot of nasty messages from my ex that he wrote two weeks ago when I was about to come over. I know he didn’t mean them when he wrote them because he was and is depressed but they just hit me hard. He told me things like “you are a selfish person. you are maniupulative. you are not my friend and i never want to be friends again. you are literally poisoning any pleasure i have of life. my abusive ex-girlfriend is torturing me. you are just a terrible person.”
I know I’m not the monster he is describing and I know his mind created that monster in his depressive moments because I talked to a therapist about it so I can understand it better. But it just hit me really hard and I find it so sad that someone I loved so much and still care so much for could hurt me so much at the same time, too… What if it’s not worth to wait around for? I don’t want to go back to that. I want to go back to a healthier him that isn’t hurting me more to make me even more insecure than I already am. I’m confused now 🙁
I feel the same way sometimes, I can look back on texts I sent her and while she’s not being insulting she is very cold, she responds in 2-3 word sentences.
Sometimes I feel like this is all a waste of time, we’re both 18, if I get her back will it be forever or just another 1-2years. These are all questions I can’t have answered, after seeing how cold she was when I brought up the relationship in our Skype call it made me feel terrible. On top of that, I know her hair doesn’t affect anything but it seems like she’s changing, she’s acting happy, talking to her friends and not contacting me lol. I am happy that she is enjoying life however, it’s hard to know she is doing it without me, I understand she could be missing me when she’s alone in her room at 10:00pm but who knows right…
What I’m trying to say is we all have doubts, if you truly love him and feel the good times outweigh the bad I recommend continuing trying to get back together, it’s hard to figure out belive me I know… just stay strong and continue no contact, remember nothing has changed since when he first sent those messages, you saw them and it made you sad, then later you were doing better you moved on from the messages and we’re happy. Now you saw the messages and you are sad again, go back to that happy place! Focus on yourself you deserve it, from the way you respond and how say things I can say with almost 100% certainty that you aren’t a complete ass 🙂
Talk to you later, stay positive!
Thank you so much! It means a lot to me to hear your opinion on it and it’s great that we have this forum to exchange and give each other advices. 🙂
and that’s also the thing why I didn’t get his behavior during the break up: it’s not him, it’s not the guy I have been dating the past one and a half years.
I’m trying to ban those thoughts out of my mind for now and think more positive 🙂 talk soon
It’s 7:26pm just got home from school, feeling positive! My brain is still thinking of her but im not sad, I’m pretty sure if I go back to my positive not needy self I can get her back. If she doesn’t want me after that then… I guess it wasn’t meant to be lol
It’s very good that you were able to think like that in the end 🙂 Those thoughts are great to give us more energy to stick through our plans. I was really calm yesterday in the end, too also because of your nice message, so thanks! Atm my thoughts (negative and positive) are playing ping pong again in my head but I try and focus on the more rational ones
I woke up anow hour ago, I’m feeling kinda sad but nothing overwhelming. You know those moments when you don’t know what to say but you wanna say something? That’s me…
I just can’t deal with having her outo of my inner circle ugh… I want to talk to her not necause I date her. I just want to know what’s happening. These are questions I can’t ask or won’t ask but want answered:
– Why the hair cut, trying something new?
– I saw a post on instagram of you, did you actually do the whole play as Sandy?(FromGrease)
– LOVE ME!!(More of a statement)
I have more but saying them is kinda pointless…
Anyways this was my little vent, I feel like I need to do at least one of these a day! ?
Sorry I was out all day.
Yes I know what you mean I think.
To the questions: I know you are curious but look at it this way: In a weeks time you will be able to get in touch with her and maybe even get her to meet up with you sometime soon and then you can ask her anything you want (besides relationship related topics, so the “love me” part is not possible for now :D)I have those questions in my head every day (the biggest thought is a constant “Why?”) but the thing is once we are back in touch with our ex we cannot even bombard them with those complicated questions… and until then we need to find a way to accept those questions within ourselves and find answers ourselves to all those questions. 🙂 write them down so you get everything out of your head maybe and if you know some answers you can write them down together with the questions.
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