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So this is the low down on what’s happened. Me (1995) Her (1997) I found this site today, read all of it, I feel a little better because I had figured out a bit of it on my own in the past couple days.
My ex broke up with my a week ago, we had been together for almost 2 years. We lived across the street from one another so things moved pretty quickly in the beginning. Less than 3 months after we started seeing each other we moved from the GTA, ON to Banff, AB a measly 3300km away from both of our homes with only a place to stay and no real job prospects. Things were great until we both got jobs and I was commuting a lot and having to carpool which made the commute longer. I resented her for that because I blamed her for all that wasted time.
She went home before we had planned do to the store she worked at closing down, before I got back she broke up with me over text (we had been together about 8 months at this point).Almost as soon as I came back to Ontario we got back together and moved in together almost immediately again (at my parents house which can be a pretty toxic environment because of my parents issues at times, but it was cheap rent and food). Whenever we would talk about problems I never really reflected and so my only complaint for most of the relationship was not enough sex. We our first large fight about a month ago, and we reconciled too quickly and kinda forgot about what was said and did nothing to improve the situation. I should also mention that I had double jaw surgery in Oct ’17 and then couldn’t walk until I had my knee operated on in May ’18. She was pretty much my caregiver that whole 8 months. It was unimaginable pain and distress from not being able to walk or escape the pain. By far the hardest year of my life, I became less than human I was just a lump that needed watering and I wasn’t coming out of the pit, because I was scared to push my leg in fear of making it bad again. So I was basically her child in a way. I finally got my butt in gear and worked outside all day last Monday felt FANTASTIC the best I have in at least a year. But being outside in the sun for 8 hours having 4 beers and a couple tokes after that is not the best brain space to have a breakup talk.
We had been talking about her moving out for a little bit but she can’t really afford it and I didn’t want to leave my cheap rent with my parents. Monday night she gets off work and says that she’s going to STAY at her mum’s for while, my brain short circuited and I said so you’re breaking up with me. The next 3 days while she was packing and moving out I followed her around like a puppy making all the mistakes, being needy, desperate, and begging. We talked about NC and have been since Thursday but we made a plan to meet up this Wednesday and now that I’m reading all this I’m not sure if it’s too soon, do I break NC and say I need more time or just go for it. I’m ready for this but I’m not sure she will be.
@AerycktheRed – You might as well meet up and hear what she has to say. If she says she wants to do no contact again after that, do it. If your behaviors are the reason she broke up with you, you will need lots of time to change. Living with parents is not the ideal and I can understand why that would be stressful. Your disability could have been another stress for both of you. You will need to discuss ways in which you will treat her better and the possibility of moving out of your parents house to get your own place if you’re physically strong now and have a full time job. Moving out, whether your girlfriend lives with you or not, is the mature and responsible thing to do. One other thing I suggest is, get off the marijuana and if you drink too much, stop it!
Good luck.
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