Boards › Reconciliation › Complicated as can be. Need help asap.
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August 4, 2014 at 7:57 pm #1350
I think the problem in their relationship was about the circumstance and not him or her.she was dealing with a hard situation.anyways,you are right.the most important part of NC is about us and he should concentrate on his life.
August 4, 2014 at 7:57 pm #1351Thats good advice. Thank you
August 4, 2014 at 8:02 pm #1352Thanks a.z, I appreciate the advice. & I think you are right
August 4, 2014 at 8:03 pm #1353I guess its just hard for me to digest because I could never see obstacles that I wouldnt climb for her. So I figure from her end it would be the same
August 4, 2014 at 8:03 pm #1354What about handling the call from another number if I happen to answer it?
August 4, 2014 at 8:04 pm #1355I apologize if I came off harsh, but it’s the truth. NC and give it time. You’ll have your ups, your downs, but it has to be done. Everyone here wants an immediate fix to their situation, but the sad reality is that it’s gonna take time. Could be months, could be years, but if you truly love her, and she loves you, then it’ll be worth the wait once you’re both in better positions. Use the pain and frustration of the situation to fuel yourself to be better in your personal life. That’s what I did.
For me it’s been about a month since my ex broke up with me. Now when I look back at how I was the first few days I feel a bit embarrassed with myself.
August 4, 2014 at 8:09 pm #1356Play it cool and keep it really short.if she keeps contacting you,tell her both of you need some time and space to heal from the break up.
August 4, 2014 at 8:10 pm #1357No worries, sometimes harsh is what you need. Love will make you do crazy things, that lead to feeling embarrassed lol. I guess Im also stuck with the conditioning that “anything you love is worth fighting for”. Im so used to having it pounded in my head that you have to prove it to her by going leaps and bounds with the “aint too proud to beg” mentality. Yet luckily, I havent gotten that far. Seems like NC is the way to go, Im just scared of “out of sight out of mind”. But I guess if its meant to be and I did my job as trying to be the best man she ever had, then it will be impossible for me to ever fully be “out of mind”
August 4, 2014 at 8:12 pm #1358by play it cool and play it short, you mean after the phone call, erase all communication all over again? Im sorry if I keep asking questions that seem like theyve obviously been answered, Im just trying to be prepared for any and all possible scenarios so I can handle this perfectly
August 4, 2014 at 8:15 pm #1360You are making the right decision.i promise you will feel really better soon.just focus on yourself and try to be happy.avoid negative thoughts and get yourself busy.i never asked my ex to get back with me but i was almost dying during the first days of NC ,i really loved him but the first two weeks was the most painful time of NC.you will feel better soon.
August 4, 2014 at 8:16 pm #1361Yes, I had the same thought. “She doesn’t think I really love her.. so I’ll prove it to her!” And that’s when I caved in and pleaded with her to meet me in person and reconsider. It didn’t really go well, though I do think it made her feel really sad and confused.
It’s what we’re all kind of conditioned to believe though isn’t it? Seems like every movie with a romance is a man losing his love then ending up fighting for her and winning her back to live happily ever after. Reality is different though.
There’s another saying that you shouldn’t forget:
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
August 4, 2014 at 8:18 pm #1362No,it’s ok.that doesn’t break NC.don’t talk about anything personal and keep it really short and it shouldn’t be more than 5 minutes.
August 4, 2014 at 8:18 pm #1363Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well done
August 4, 2014 at 8:19 pm #1364if you dont mind me asking, what was the outcome after the NC for you
August 4, 2014 at 8:21 pm #1365My ex started crying and he kept saying how much he loves me for months until a few days ago.and its been 5 months that we broke up.
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