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my ex’s parents were never married , they had kids together but never married. Her parents seperated when she was 13 and had no father figure around. I came during end of highschool and have been there for her family ever since. I was the only man around to do all the fatherly things. From Fixing walls, to opening locked doors, turning the switch for the breaker when power goes out, getting rid of any rodents, you name it. her father unfortunately passed away when we started our relationship so i felt horrible at that time and knew i had to be there for her family as there were no men around ( she lived with her mom and aunt and sister for a bit but moved with her bf later on) So marriage wasnt a big deal for her but it was something we both wanted.
I have decided to make contact with her exactly 1 month from now. I wanted to wait 2 months but was afraid thatd give too much time for her to get comfrtable with this new guy , as i dont know how fast it takes for a girl to fall love with someone. I will be contacting her again with a letter and will be making a draft soon. I will be flying out to Chicago mid october to visit some family and when i return that’s when ill make my move again but will proceed NC until then.
a little info on how we met, if it helps, we all our classes together when i was gr 9, i was a chubby kid lol had a crush on her, she never liked me lol i would try to make a move, i dont know what i did but probably didnt work lol fast forward to end of gr 11, had classes with her again, at this time i was much fit, as id fly to texas every summer and work out. after school id notice she was always last person in school..waiting for some reason. One day i came up to her and asked howcome shes still here (since i used the weight room at school) and she said she was waiting for a ride from her aunt and didnt want to bus alone. So from that day,everyday i would stay with her so she wasnt bored alone, watch funny things on the internet in the library, talk, do homework. Eventually i started taking the bus with her to take her home early so she didnt have to wait as she would get hungry sometimes (even tho my house was opposite direction lol). eventually we kicked it off and was a wonderful 7 years, until now lol.
some people do tell me that and family but personally i dont beleive it. 1 year is too soon i find. i wouldve porbably proposed 5 years if i wsa older but i find we are so young and i really want to be finacially ready for her to relax and not worry about money. As my dream for her was just to be a stay at home mom and take care of the kids , as this is what she wanted too. She recently enrolled herself in school and the other week i messaged her saying how proud i was of her and she told me it meant a lot to her (as she use to work for my moms business as a nail tech but will stop working soon for school). My family never said anything to her as they knew we broke up and maybe had a little grudge on her now? But id tell her who cares what they think, and she’d said the same thing to me cause if they do hate her and we do get back, who cares. It is for our happiness not theirs.
have fun with korean BBQ! love it! even though you are paying to cook for yourself lol still good! very sweet though haha.
Pingpong, first, I have heartburn from all that food. Second, thank you so much for sharing your love story. It seems like you already fell in love with her when you were a chubby 9th grader. I won’t judge you for contacting her in a month. From a woman’s perspective, men should really go after the woman they love. You are not stalking them. You will know when they truly don’t want you in their lives anymore. This is not your case. No man has ever come back for me. I know I am not being optimisic, but I just never had that experience of a guy fighting for me. In hindsight though, I am glad I never ended up with any of them.
I hate to see your relationship come to an end. Whatever happens though, both of you will still be your 1st loves. Not all breakups are always dramatic and hateful. At least ours wasn’t. The downside is it’s hard because there is still a lot of love in there.
Seems like she had a bit of a tough childhood, but you saved her. What a blessing that you had a mind of a grown-up in the 9th grade and protected her eversince.
When my ex and I had our second date, he held my hand and said “I’ll take care of you.” He did until the end. If you read my thread, he took care of me when I was ugly, sick and contagious And even said I was still beautiful even with hives all over my entire face and body. He took me out to dinner and a movie when I felt a bit better as we had not gone on a date for 3 weeks because of my illness. A week after our date, he broke up with me.
Don’t give up on your gf. There is no hate between you. I hope one day she realizes all the things you have been through. Your love is rare. If mine isn’t going to work, at least let me bestow all the hope I had in mine to you and your GF.
If this wasn’t anonymous, I’d send this to her. Lol
you ex seemed such a gentleman, only a real man would be there for his lady when shes sick and looking at her worst. It just puzzles me a bit why he broke up the week after but like others said, maybe it was an ego thing and maybe wanted to be more of the provider for you. He did say “Please dont hate me forever” as that may be a clue that he wants to patch things eventually but who knows when and you cant wait for him forever but that also goes for me too, i cant wait my ex forever either.
There was one time after the break up we had some hate, as i was curious what she had told her friends why we broken up and maybe there was more to it. She told her friends “i just want to do me”. She found out i asked her friends, and got mad at me and told me it’s over. Whatever is going on is between us, dont bring others in it. That’s when i did NC for 2 weeks and she contacted me after apologizing saying she was just mad cause i didnt ask her instead of her friends and that she missed me, etc.
i do too hope she realizes all what we’ve been through but this is all up to her now. I dont want to disturb her while shes out doing her own thing and i have to let her see the world without me. Hopefully me not contacting her a month from now will be enough time for her to miss me. I have faith in your situation as i do think he will contact you again but i just dont know when as it’s difficult to analyze.
haha too funny but unforuantely we have to be anonymous lol otherwise we wouldnt open up like how we did 🙂
Pingpong: I don’t blame you for going to her friends because really, you were not getting any answers from her. I did the same with my ex because I deserved answers he wasn’t telling me. Since they are guys, they confirmed to me it was the insecurity that he can’t provide for my financially and thought I deserved a man who can do so. It made me really sad to hear that because I feel like he was OK giving me away to someone else. Also, they said he was scares of messing up because I was his first serious relationship in 8 years.
I’m glad she apologized though. And I do get it that it’s no one elses business when it comes to our relationship, but let’s be real here! You talk to your friends about your relatiosnhip, she talks to her friends about your relationship. So technically, you made your friends part of it.
Oh, I am sorry Pingpong, she did give you answers, but you wanted to know if there was more to it.
Hey guys can’t reall talk much in detail as I’m getting ready for university so I’ll talk when I’m back but from what ive briefly read it seems pinpong you still have much hope and so have you MrsWB. Pingpong you clearly were there for your ex through thick and thin and she will remmeber that. When she starts missing you till the point she can’t cope she will contact you. And same for you MrsWB. However i think he might take abit more convincing since hes not happy with his financial situation. But I’m sure he’ll come around.
As for me, i know my ex has been active on social media this morning but she still hasn’t read or replied to my messages but i know she knows I’ve sent them her. And probably has read them. Is this a bad sign? I don’t want to keep is casual and boring throughout the whole of this. Do i go back to nc till she replies or do i start building attraction? It’s so early. I’m not even sure she was thinking straight when she messaged me.
yes thats right MrsWB. I got answers but i had to know if there was anything else hiding that she was afraid to tell me but she told me the truth as there was nothing else. But you’re right, once we told our friends about it, they were involed, the crappy thing is all of our friends are the SAME lol so pretty much after this break up, the guys spilt to one group and girls spilt to one group. Before the break up we all would be one and going to dinners every now and than, was fun but it is much different now. As i feel bad for our friends as this is something we caused.
Hope you enjoy your first day in university. School was always fun, new faces, new people to meet, youll have a blast and probably get your mind off of your ex. I missed university lol I do have hope for my ex and I but I will probably give it one big horrah before i decide to move on. As i dont want to give up on her but I dont want to be the one always trying. That’s one thing i want. I want her to come to me, so i feel wanted.
I dont think that’s a bad sign. When my ex and i would exchange messages and they were in depth, she would reply only late at night, maybe that’s when she can really have free time to open her mind? but give her time to reply as its hard to speak your mind when you cant focus properly, maybe shes just busy and has a lot going on. Maybe go NC until she contacts you, play it cool.
Ironblood: Go NC until she replies back. You are already doing the right thing by keeping it casual. You don’t need to keep conversations interesting as long as there is contact. Don’t overthink. Man, what me and Pingpong would do to even get a “hi” from our exes. We don’t even get that at all. Consider yourself lucky. Know that she still has you in mind. You already know she misses you. Go with that. Do not force it if she doesn’t message back today, tomorrow, next week. That is what giving space means.
Just know she still misses you and let each other be. Your main focus is you and schoo now. 🙂
Pingpong: Yes, as much as I want him in my life, I can’t wait on him forever. I did tell him that “the hardest part for me is to know that you may meet the next girl and decide you would dedicate your life to her.” And he said “the same goes on for you, in a way. Neither of us know if that is even going to happen?”
What did he mean by that?
Perhaps he does want you back in the future but he wants to work on himself to become the best for you, Ver 2.0 of him. He doesn’t want to see you with a new man but it’s not fair to you if you wait around forever. That’s how I see it.
Hey guys again,
ironblood, I hope University is gonna keep you busier so you don’t have to worry constantly about you and your ex all the time, I still suggest you both need space for yourself to breathe and reflect on your relationship, otherwise the vicious circle will keep going.
Who knows, maybe you will meet a girl you might find more fitting to your taste and needs!
Just keep thinking positive. Trust me I know this because I have been in the same situation before you when I was in my early 20s and it just finished to degradate myself and my affair at the time.MrsWB, I think your ex meant that he can’t really say if he’s gonna meet the right person in the future and the same goes for you, you can’t be sure if you will meet the right guy as well. Even though our exes are going on with their lives with somebody new by their side, it doesn’t mean that they completely forgot what we meant to them and what we represented for them for the time the relationship was on.
My opinion is that our exes disappear completely and do not reach out also because besides not wanting us to know about what’s going on in their lives anymore, they don’t wanna know what happens in ours, because it hurts, of course I am not generalizing.
I call this the “the feeling of property for an ex” case, which is that stinging feeling you have when you see a certain ex you are really attached to together with another person or when you learn stuff about him/her with that person through your friends etc
after considerate or long time the breakup. You think and you dread that ex was once yours and only yours (your property) and now somehow you are jealous he/she’s even happier with somebody else. Personally didn’t happen to me yet, but I have received feebacks from many of my friends/colleagues describing this uncomfortable experience.I may have over reacted she wasn’t ignoring me last night she replied in the morning while I was getting ready and said
“Nah we didn’t tbh we just chilled oh where did you go to
Yeah i fell asleep btw
Hope you enjoy uni”I didn’t reply cause i was getting ready and didn’t want to reply without thinking. So i left it the whole day till i got home ( as i have no internet connection while im out) . It’s 6:42pm now and i still havnt replied. She litteraly just messaged me as I’m typing this saying
“How did it go today”
Is this a good sign? I havnt replied and she’s still wanting to talk? Or is she just being friendly to ease her own pain to make it easier to move on?
Today was great at university btw! Thanks everyone! I’m wondering if i should call her or not aswell ?
I’m wondering if it is a good idea if i asked her if she minds me phoning? Is this a good idea or should i keep texting?
Should I maybe say something like “just got in don’t think my messages are sending. You can call if you want? “
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