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wow MrsWB, thats a long time to be pinned. I hope i dont get stuck like that, as it mustve been really painful. at this current moment right now i am boxing all my ex’s stuff. i wont give it to her yet, maybe a month or two from now when i am ready to make contact with her again. right now I do no want to as she requested not to call her, probaly best not to make any contact at all. Also saving all my photos in my iphone of her and i , or of her into a external hard drive and than deleting it from my phone. Obviously im not dickhead and would delete 7 years of memories just like that.
ironblood, i know how you feel. I was afraid of that too, when we broke up my ex told me it wasnt to go out with someone else and look what happened now.. but like MrsWB said, all bets are off the table unfortunately. I wasn’t holding onto what she said, cause i had to expect this would happen. But remember this.. you were with her for 6 years? that’s a long time and she will be comparing every man she meets with you, she will be anazying how he is to you, but she will never be as comfortable with you before to this new person. But know this ironblood, this is not a competition. if our ex’s go out with someone else so soon, so be it. Maybe thats their way of healing but it doesnt mean we should do it also to show her. Be the better man. I myself wont be dating, since my ex is seeing someone, let her. But when you reach around day 20+, youll be strong. Right now I am using my rage for her and this new man at the gym , as bad as that is lol but also venting out here helps so much and hearing others input and trying to help others helps also.
To Pingpong and Ironblood: I wish I could share something I read, but it is super looooongg and we will all get banned from this board. Lol!!!
I know, we are here to attract our exes back. The solution has always been out there, but we are darn too stubborn to follow it and it is: to work on ourselves! I know we keep saying that and remind each other, but it’s easier said than done, right?! I mean, think about it. Let’s look back at the times we met our exes. Where were we in our lives? I bet you we were all doing great before we met them. And when we met them, it kind of was an added bonus to our then happy lives. Oh, but then some stresses come into our lives and our relationships and all that negativity is looming like a dark cloud above our heads.
As much as this board helps me vent, it also kind of makes me sad. But when I get off it and start watching a funny movie, or do stuff around my house, I kind of go back to a happy mindset.
I know we are all hurt, but I think we can start helping each other by uplifting one another. 🙂 let’s bring back some positive back to ourselves. I would like to continue to keep in touch with you all to see our progress. 🙂
Pingpong: Yes. Unfortunately, I pinned for the other ex for 3-1/2 years! (Most esp he cheated on me, and I was like, why would I want to be with a cheater?! I was very insecure and felt I will never meet anyone). All the heartbreak and sadness we have now is not our exes. We are doing this to ourselves and we have to be honest about it. 🙁 Our exes are not telling us to be sad. They are kind of moving forward and dealing a whole different way. I have never been a dumper before. But i have turned down a lot of guys who wanted to date me.
very true! i have really been improving myself since the break up. First month, i lost 20lbs lol went on a crazy no carb diet and worked out everyday as i use to do a lot of body building and my goal now is be what i use to be, pretty much what you were saying.. from the first time i met my ex i was in increible shape and happy and guess i got a bit to comfortable lol but i am seeing a lot of improvments.
Yes , try to not hold on negaitivty, as its just bad news. Once we let go of the sadness and negativity, we will finally acheive peace at mind and happiness! This is my first break up EVER as she was also my friends GF and i was her longest relationship ever but she wanted a break up and i didnt want to beg as i know this is what she wanted already and it wouldnt change anything.
But hey! you must be really beautiful woman for many guys to ask you out on a date 😉 that should make you feel good! Wish girl would come up to me and ask me out LOL but that doesnt happen very often lol as it should be men apporaching in my opinion lol but like i said if girls did approach me i wouldnt want to date anyways. But i will definately give you a heads up if anything interesting comes up and i hope you are doign well with your situation
You guys are very kind! I can’t believe you guys have gone through what you say you have with your past exs.
You are right. Let’s make a change together and help each other stay positive. The cold hard truth is clear, if we mope around feeling sorry for our selves – this won’t improve our mood, personality or person. We need to constantly move forward. Although we are deeply hurt during the NC phase we have to stay strong. Think of happy thoughts with your ex if you can’t stop thinking about her. Just stick to the plan. It’s proven it works since I won her back twice.
I’m very unsure about the 3rd time as the damage has been done but I refuse to give up on some one I belive is the love of my life until I know for sure I have no chance at all. I swallow my pride for this girl. You guys should not give up until you know 100% you can’t get your exs back.
At the moment it may look hopeless but (cliché incoming) time does heal people. I hope and wish we all get what makes us happy. I want to thank everyone so far for helping me vent and giving advice.
I see her active on instagram liking posts. She use to tag me in cute animal videos and now everytime I see a cute video I think of her… and they’re all over the internet. Lol. I’ve realised how boring of a boyfriend I’ve been, sex life was pretty bad. I feel spontaneous all of a sudden. I’m not going to give up on this girl. It may take some time but I can’t give up at the moment.
Ironblood: If you read stuff about law of attraction to get back an ex in your life, they say it is possible as you have already proven the 2x you and your ex got back together. You attracted her back into your life, the problem was you were unable to keep it going as you broke up the 3rd time. Another lesson learned. If you want her back the 3rd time, you have to work on yourself first. It is ok to imagine you back with her and that the two of you are happy. Those are positive thoughts, BUT you need to let go of the past relationship. That is over. If you wish to have her back, start working on yourself. Give it a break for a couple weeks or perhaps months. Once you are back on your normal happy self, she might contact you, or you might contact her back and try to show you you have changed over the months you have not seen each other. And whatever happens in the following months, if you decide to see each other or start over, the last couple years you had is gone. This break may be good as you can start fresh as new people. But yes, for most parts, you have to leave her to be. 🙂 I do believe in not giving up, but do believe in letting go. 2 different things. Our sadness causes a lot of resistance. We need to do our best to get off it. 🙂
Pingpong, Lol! Well, my BF always tells me I’m beautiful, even when he was breaking up with me. But BFs will always think their GFs are beautiful even if we look like Miss Piggy.
And no! No girl will approach you for a date, at least most girls won’t. Lol! And it is totally fine if you don’t want to date. Only you know when you are ready. My ex was single for 8 years before he decided to get serious with me. Unfortunatelly, something went very wrong that he decided to end it only after 7 months. I’ll still be here and update whatever progress.
Ironblood: I need to add, when you mentioned that the sex got bad, yes, that is not a good sign. Sex became a chore in the end instead of an emotional connection. The next time, keep in mind that it should be more emotional as much as physical as that is what women want. 🙂
MrsWB hit it dead on the nail there. The next time any of us contact with our ex or begin something, it’s a whole new relationship. But for us for go forward we have to forget the past. It’s done. No going back, improve yourself for a better future. But easier said than done like what MrsWB said lol but we all can do it. Ironblood, i believe you can do it. A Third times the charm!
for myself, I will be putting myself through extreme work outs and diets and she use to love me for my huge arms before lol and that’s my exact goal. Huge raging biceps and try to get a 6 pack loll which is hella hard as you need like 10% bodyfat. But that will be what i use when i contact her again. As when we were together she told me if i got a 6 pack, she’d do anything i want lol but obviously i wont be contacting her for sex when i get it, ill use those quotes to hopefully begin our relationship lol it sounds stupid but it was something we said as i know in the future itll make her smile lol
but like what MrsWb said, letting go may be the ultimate solution. You have all to gain now. It really cant get any worse than it is now.
oh yes, even if women think they are so ugly someitmes, they will always look beautiful in our eyes. Some men are just dogs (the ones in the club that just wanna holla) but if it was an ex lover, we love women in everyway. If shes picking her nose, dang i love it lol makes me happy knowing shes tha comfortable with me lol. My ex was a weird girl lol but yanno what she was my weirdo and i loved her for that lol, and im sure we all have something similar to relate as we loved them for their weird ways. If they were to move on, no way they can be the way they were with us that fast.
Pingpong: since this is your first breakup, I don’t know of you are spiritual or religious, but this is probably just a life lesson for you. There are very few lucky ones in this world who end up with their first love and did not have to experience loss or breakup. We’re not part of that exclusive group. Lol.And you did the right thing not to beg. You’ll be alright. I’m praying for the both of you, same with Ironblood.
Pingpong: lol! It’s not stupid! It’s a goal. Lol. At least you are finding a hobby to focus on which is working out and going on a diet. And when she sees you, she’ll all be like “hot daaaaanngg!!” Lol! Let’s all make each other laugh! It will bring us back into this positive vibe. When we are in this vibe (without forcing it) is when we will be able to attract the exes back and other good things. Wish we all lived in the same place so we can meet for coffee and vent and be our own support systems. Lol
appreicate it MrsWB, well i am buddhist, and i actually scheduled a full sleeve tattoo on my arm of a buddha and a dragon lol after the break up, i have been really going through some deep thoughts and following my religon, as it’s not good to hold on to negativity as we only want peace and tranquility. Earlier the break up when i was starting NC, i would be REALLY mad at her for doing this to me, and thinking how could she do this to me and all these negative things about her but i have learned to forget it. I look forward for a brighter future. Life is not worth holding on sadness and anger. There is so much more we arent seeing.
Reminds of a short story of a professor giving his students a surpise test, and he handed the paper to all his students and all there was is a black dot in the middle of the paper. All the students handed in the test and wrote the same thing, explaining the black dot in the middle of the paper but nobody wrote anytthing about the white paper on the outside.
This break up is just a black dot that we are focusing on.
oh yes that would be cool if we could meet up lol but everyone on this board is from a different country lol But this board alone is really effective already and its fantastic everyone here is in the same situation and trying to support one another! we all will be okay as we all have much to look forward to!
Pingpong: nice! Being buddhist, I bet you have mastered the art of peace and tranquility. I’m Catholic and I have nothing against it, but I surely had to break away from the things that were fed to me growing up. Lol. I am my own person now. I just decided to be spiritual and find my own peace. 🙂 Your tatt will be cool since it will be an important symbol to keep forever. It’s actually fun learning from everyone here.
Yes it would be cool if we could meet and vent to each other lol. I live in the UK.
I completely realise now why sex wasn’t great, referring back to the routine we almost just rolled round in bed then started having sex instead of it being lead on throughout the day like we use to. Like we use to go out then we’d feel this tension and when we got in just go crazy..lol too much detail?
Could you possibly give me some advice both of you? How could i stop sex from getting boring? How do I keep it so it doesn’t get stale and we don’t end up annoyed or frustrated. It almost got to a point where i expected sex every time we got “horny” instead of thinking about her pleasure. I guess i was like this becuase it hurts her on most occasions and some occasions it doesn’t and i juse can’t tell if shes just saying that at times so i try and push towards sex. Maybe that was bad. She was turned off by this incredibly. She likes being talked to dirty…lol but i just wasn’t that great at it especially when she puts me in the spot. ( it never got to rape LOL… reading back it sounds very strange i meant as in she would tell me she wouldnt want me to put it in then suddenly she did and i could never tell)
Also I was/am in a similar situation pingpong. I lost weight and gained alot of muslce during the last break up. I was on a strict no carbs diet. But then that all stopped after a couple of week back together i slowly let go of my diet got comfortable and eventually stopped working out. I could tell she really liked the look of me after working out. She’d always feel my arms and i was getting a 6pack lol. ( i have 4 ). I’m not exactly fat or skinny just slim. I find it hard to put on alot of weight but i definitely put on belly chub.. lol.
My confidence also decreased. I really do believe most of the damage in the relationship was down to the routine and constantly sticking to it. I really want to change things do random fun things togetheror even the simple dating. I want to be happy. I hate the negativity constantly. It’s like we both start slowly declining in moods and eventually get snappy. I want to keep it exciting and for her love not to fade if i ever had that 3rd chance. Which i really desire. Although yes i have accepted we need to let the old relationship go. Completely. Which we thought we did but in small little outbursts we’d bring up the past and that obviously didn’t help. Everything reminds me of her and i can’t see how it isn’t vice versa considering most her photos on social media are related to me. For example she changed her whatsapp picture to her small shoulder tattoo which i took? Lol. Most of her instagram pictures are related to me e.g the location photos and some of her make up pictures i took… ( i have a better camera on my phone).
I’m having constant mood swings from trying to ignore the pain to feel like I’m moving on and expecting not to win her back to feeling as if she’s coming back to I can’t even be bothered.
But I know deep down I’m still fighting even unconsciously for her. But I’ve realised .. why should i be the one constantly changing… why can’t she improve her self? I want her to be more open with me with everything… sex how is it? What does she like? Etc. I guess i should of discussed this which leads to another error of bad communication near the end of our relationship. I want to make her crazy for me again. And i want to keep that.
To add also I was very feeling of her… i think? lol not cause i was horny but just feely cause she had an amazing body.. i was always grabbing her behind or smacking it in a fooling around kind of way. I’m not sure whether that slowly made her uncomfortable? I was very affectionate at times which she may have found as if i was man handling her maybe or abit too much? Like i always grabbed and hugged her randomly? Or asked her to come over and hug me randomly? Maybe I’m overthinking this and making my self look like a huge creep in the process LOL. I’m just trying to be completely open and find out what exactly went wrong. Hope i don’t sound like a creep.
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