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Posts
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ironblood…
You are not patient at all dude, you can’t expect REAL progresses in a bunch of days! It’s impossible! This kind of progresses take place in weeks.
You absolutely have to forget that things are or can be as before when you interact with her, I repeat, it takes TIME to regain trust or to feel comfortable enough to reach that closeness again. You two broke up, there was a separation here dude that you don’t seem to see, and it’s not only physical, it’s emotional!.
So quit being demanding and let this takes the right course without rushing or pushing her because it will backfire you.I know i shouldn’t be rushing or demanding but i dont mean to be… so today has been weird. I always feel as if she doesn’twant to talk but i guess i need to get yse to casual talk.
We had a little conversation today and i also asked again if she wanted to call as i missed her call yesterday. (That is thr only reason i asked)
She said she was watchinf something with her mom and that she would maybe call me tomorrow. So i insisted jn saying that was fine and that I’d let her carry on watching the show.She messaged back saying “you can still talk im not bus”
So i replied an hour later sayinf “oh it seemed like you were ”
She replied “noo”
So i left it for 2 hours cause how can i reply to “noo” lol.
So i sent another message but i think it didnt deliver on whatsapp so i went into panic mode like what if she tried to call or message me and im not recieving hers and shes not recieveing mine. So at 12am i messaged her saying “didn’t realise messages didn’t send are you still awake?”
She replied “yeah”
I asked if my messages sent and she didn’t reply so i assumed it was happening again. So i called her and she hung up. I thought it was my wifi or something so i did it again. Same thing. Then she replied saying “sorry give me a sec”
So i obviously was like wtf is going on in my head so i replied “ok”
She then messaged back saying
“Can I ring tomorrow please brothers coming drunk I’m trying to help him out”I replied ” Yeah that’s fine my whatsapp is playing up btw good luck”
And she simply replied ” Ok thanks”In conclusion i think that i kind if annoyed her. Im nit tryjng to bug her for a phone call but it looks like i am. I just wanted to phone her back from yesterday and today i was just checking if my whatsapp was working. Am i messing this up? I feel like i am. Sorry to keep coming here. Im not trying to rush things its just technical difficulties are fucking me up. I want the best chance possible.
Sometimes I also run out of things to say. Not sure where i am with her to be honest. Feel like giving up. But i can’t. I want her back and I’m willing to go as slow as a snail lol. Just want some clarification that I’m nit completely fucking things up. Thanks
I made a spelling mistake and to make it clear basically i ended the conversation by saying ill let you watch your show and she replied “you can still talk I’m not busy”
As in no i still want to talk lol. *
I could see she was still online so i dropped a last message saying
“How’s your brother doing didn’t mean to stress you out”
Not sure if this was the right thing to do but i was just trying to be polite in case i stressed her out. (She gets panicked/annoyed/stressed out easily when her brother goes out and she has to be the baby sitter so i guess phoning her while she was textinf him wasn’t a good idea but u wasn’t to know)
She replied
“i’m in his room waiting for him to come back his not back yet not sure what’s goin on”
Lol. It’s like you guys have a legitimate story to read everyday so what has ironblood got up to today!?
I have this thought in my head that im messing it up but i dont think i am. Just over reacting to nothing. I need to get a grip before i actually do fuck up.
So i sent her one last message so everything was in the open about the technical difficulties. I said
“Is he ok or is he just drunk? It seems like an inconvenient time for you so I’ll let you save him and just to clarify didn’t mean to spam call didn’t think whatsapp was working. Let me know how it goes”
The end. Good night guys hope i havnt messed up or annoyed her.
This is what she replied…..
“I think drunk. No I didn’t get spam calls I will do thanks”
It seems so short compared to my message lol but as usual my brain wont stop over analysing things.
she might’ve thought you were trying to repeatedly call her as it seems you do tend to ask if its okay to “call” a lot or it’s just me. But try not to panic so much and like i said before, probably best to let her call you and if you do miss a call, maybe just message first and be like “i missed you call, whats up?” and go from there. Or you can simply call her back if you missed a called, i see no issue in returning a call. But like what fishinginthesky said, you gotta be patient. as shitty as it is to take things slowly, youre doing this for her cause you care and love for her.
as for myself it has been 7 days of NC now. but we have been broken up for 2 months next week. Yes this was our very first break up. your postive words made bme very happy haha but i dont wanna get my hopes up as i want to expect the unexpected and be prepared for worse case scenarios. But thanks, hopefully she will contact me before i do but she might not cause like i said before, she said she was “seeing” someone so he might be keeping her occupied. But i will save my letter as a last resort. My ex did contact me before a week or so after the break up, we had a small arguement but i did NC and she texted saying she was sorry and missed me and missed being love, etc. but lets see what happens this time. have a good night ironblood, hopefully tomorrow is a better day for you 🙂
Stay stronf during nc she will contact you again pingpong and thank you. But sadly it hasn’t. Feel like things have gotten worse. And i feel shit.
So today she deleted me from snapchat and i was confused cause you know… 2 days ago she said she missed me. So i texted her saying
“I’m confused can we talk”
She replies “whats up”
So i said “do you mind if i ring it’s easier to explain ”
She said “I’d rather you whatsapped”
So i said “it’s just a quick call”
So i rang and she answered and i went on to explain about how my messages were not sending to her and that i had missed calls from her and every time i returned the calls she wouldn’t answer and i also brought up why she deleted me on snapchat… i asked her if she was annoyed at me about soemthing if i didnt see her messages or whatever. So she explains she called once the other day and rhat was it and she was only getting a few of my messages and calls. So we sort that out and we end up talking although i felt i was making more of an effort and near to the end i also asked what she was doing for her birthday and she said nothing yet so i brought her dress up that she posted on snapchat yesterday and was like ” i thought that was your birthday dress ” and she told me she has plans but they’re not set in stone yet.
So anyway we talk abut and then she said she needed to go as her dad was calling her so i was like “ok thats fine but before i go ive felt like you don’t want to talk latley or is it that I’m not recieving your messages .. do you still want to talk or”
she replied “no its not that it’s just i do want to talk to know how you are getting on with uni and everything but at the same time i dont want to give you the wrong impression so i backed off for a couple days”
so i replied “no i understand i dont want to give the wrong impression either” then we ended the call.
At this time I’m feeling shit like there isn’t any hope. It feels like she doesn’t want me at all.
So eventually i think of something to say that hopefully will reverse what she said. (Ill get into it below just keep reading lol hang in there)
So i call her 3 times and each time no answer. So again I’m thinking it’s whatsapp so she replies
“whats up? All missed calls? Whats up”So i replied “you not want to phone”
She replied ” I didn’t get chance to answer I was downstairs what’s up”
So i phoned again and she finally answers so I pretty much say to her –
“I’ve been thinking about what you aaid before we hung up about the wrong impression and you can’t really think like that cause you made it clear what you wanted before we broke up and I respect and accept that decision I just wanted to know if i gave you the wrong impression cause if i have then I’m sorry cause i didn’t mean to.”
She replied something like “good and you haven’t given the wrong impression”
So i was like “then why did you say that? You must have thought i was trying something and if you did i didnt mean for the wrong impression ”
So she replied “what do you mean? no you didn’t give me the wrong impression”
So i was like “ok thats cool i hope i didn’t ”
I heard a laughing noise from her tv so i asked “what you doing”
She replies “nothing”
So i reply “well I’ll let you go then I’m just getting ready to go out”
And we’ve left it at that today. What do you guys think? Should I go nc? And see if she replies. Or is she showing signs she’s fully done. I just don’t know what to do. I feel like we were making progress now i feel like we took 2 steps back and I’m back on square one.
I unfollowed her on instagram cause she deleted me on snapchat. But I’ve got her added on whatsapp.
I just don’t know anymore. I miss her so much. The good times. Not the times where she’s a cold hearted bitch. I know our relationship wasn’t amazing a 100% of the time. I know we made mistakes. I do generally think we can have a fresh new start but it seems like she’s moving on and using me as an emotional crutch. :(. I don’t know..
Hi Ironblood: this will be my last post for now. And I will tell it to you straight, you can’t expect things to improve already because there was no time for healing. How can you heal if you are constantly talking to each other trying to bring back what you had in the past. THAT IS GONE. I was really happy that you were making progress. To me, progress was the little talks here and there and not expecting anything in return. But you always wanted more and I told you a million times that she is not willing to give you more than you want. When she said “i hope i did not give you the wrong impression” = We are not getting back together (maybe not yet, maybe never).
Also, you keep wanting to call when she said she doesn’t! Why can’t you respect that?
Believe me, I do understand. We always don’t want to give up on someone we love so much. It’s not giving up but letting go! You do not know how much I want to get back with my ex, but there is only so much I can do. We can’t force people to return the feelings if they don’t want to.
If you care for her, for yourself: let it go. You did enough already, and even you said that you are doing all the effort. Maybe if you do no contact and then she contacts you and says again: “I miss you.” I think finally be forward to her and say “I know we are broken up, but honeslty I still have strong feelings for you and want us to work this out, but if you really don’t want this anymore, I will respect you and let you be.” All she can say is yes or no. If she says no, then finally just stop it. There is only so much you can do.
I have a feeling this will fall on deaf ears again. But I said my piece. Take care, my friend.
I fucked up. No you are right i didnt listen i kept pushing for more too soon. I was stupid. But the reason behind the phone calls was cause she phoned me and i missed her calling me. And my text messages were not going through. So that is why i called otherwise she would think i completely ignored her.
She’s giving me mixed signals.she already told me she misses me twice and but slowly is backing off away from me again. Not sure how i am suppose to show or tell her or even do anything to increase my chances when she deleted me on all social media pretty much.
I guess I will to no contact again. See what happens. I feel incredibly guilty cause i do love this girl so much and letting her go will take an incredibly long time. But if i have no choice here then what more am i suppose to do. I’m not giving up until my nc is over. Thanks for all the help. I’ve sorted the technical difficulties so i wont be phoning her again when she doesn’t want to. I do listen. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry i couldn’t take control of my actions i honestly wish i was as strong as you mrswb . I feel pathetic yet again.
Hey MrsWB,
How are you doing? I hope you are feeling better somehow. Yesterday I had my real low day since I’ve decided to let my ex go. All started from one of my colleagues announcing that he’s got engaged, he’s been together with his girlfriend approximately the same time I’ve been with my ex, so that made me crumble inside again but this morning I am regaining my stranght by thinking positive and clenching my hopes tightly in my fist without letting them slip away.
Are you going to stop posting for good? It’s a pity because I would like to know how you are doing and if you need any support, I am still faithful that your ex might come back, hell I wanna see someone among us actually reunite with his/her ex.
It’s funny because by reading around, I think this forum is turning more into something closer to “Let you ex go permanently” than “get your ex back permanently” lol.Regarding you ironblood, I throw my arms up and surrender lol. You keep running in circle and as MrsWB said, it just falls on deaf ears. Just do whatever you feel up to at this point man, it’s your relationship, it’s your life.
Fishing: i do not want to stop posting and i actually want to stick Around to see if anyone had progress. But i just have this nagging feeling my ex is already seeing someone because it’s 8 weeks. Also, i know this is bad that i started snooping on his FB, and there is this girl who is starting to like his posts. She has never liked any of his posts before. We have never been FB official. It was never our thing. I wanted to reach a milestone before that ever happens. Like engaged or married. Fishing, it is destroying me inside. People always say to focus on myself, go out, do things. That is always easy for everyone to say. I lost a big part of me. But it seems like the girl who is liking his posts is more his kind of girl. Voloptuous. I’m super skinny and lanky.
what mrswb said is right, we all want our ex’s back in our lives but rmr that it is their life too. We cant just focus on only us and please our needs. You dont have to go NC, since you two are slowly talking but let her message you and just chat as if you were just friends. It is hard to talk to someone you love and not show the same emotions as before but it is something that needs to be done for now, until your ex begins to move forawrd a bit.
as for myself i have began letting go, but not because i am giving up on her ,but this is something for the both of us. I have learned SO MUCH since the break up and i have become and change into a different person from than what i was 2 months ago. All my rage is gone. I use to hold one specific rage because she broke it off a week before my birthday and man it was the WORST birthday ever. But now.. i don’t care, the greatest gift from this was that I have gotten to learn a lot about others and that we all are going through something and when we help each other on this board it eases the pain a bit. I have also been shopping a lot.. as i use to hate shopping with my ex but now..heck im buying new outfits, shoes, training gear..lol. For some strange reason shopping makes me feel better lol.
Fishingthesky, I know how you feel, as i see some of my friends on FB getting engaged and i wish i had the oppotunnity to do it this year but it’s a shame. The worse thing is they have been in a relationship a lot less than i have and already popped the question. Has your ex read your letter any more times so far? last you said was 7? I have hopes that she will reply back but i dont know when but maybe it is taking time for her to gather her feelings. When you wrote a goodbye letter the first time you guys broke up, and you guys got back, how long was it before she replied back? do you rmr? AHah yes, this board is starting to change into something else..
MrsWB, it would be nice if one of us gets some progress as i do check daily in hopes someone gets some good news but pretty much it’s more ironblood making progress.. and i do enjoy his daily summary haha. Well you pretty much had no choice but to snoop as i know you were left with not much answers at all. Did him and this girl just become friends recently ? is he liking any of her posts? it is so true..many people tell you things, and i admit i have told people the same thing “focus on yourself”,”get over it”, etc but it is so difficult once you go through this pain and nobody will ever know how its like until it happens to them. Is that the type of women he told you he likes? well you and him had a relationship so i am sure he loves your type. I am sure if he wasnt interested in you, you two would have never started anything. But i still have hope that he will contact you. Maybe you should go shopping lol splurge a little 😉 go to a spa and have a chance to relax your mind.
Hey Pingpong,
First time my ex broke up with me, she told me she wanted to have new experiences as she’s just started university, I did not send any letter or anything afterwards. Approximately a month later I received a text from her, telling me she was sorry she left and she wanted to have me back. Second time she dumped me, I did send a sort of goodbye letter on our anniversary’s date, not that explicit like this last one, and she answered right away (45 days after the breakup).
Now it’s almost two months since the breakup and no contact from her. I think she’s still pretty mad and it will take a lot of time before (if) she can remember again good memories of us.
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