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Should I just go back to Nc then? But this time delete her on every social media so she knows I’m serious? Or what? I don’t know what to do anymore. One minute she wants nothing to do with me at all ever. The next she is missing me opening up about her grandfather. Then saying she misses me after the phone call. Now she doesn’t want to talk on the phone. She wants to whatsapp. I just feel like her personal safety blanket. I’m sick of this. It’s like when she is lonley she comes to me. Fuck that fuck her. I fucking hate her at times and i hate the fact i still love her and stil constantly swallow my pride for her.
If she contacts you and says hi, say hi back. If she asks a questions, answer back. If she says “i miss you” you can can say it back too becuase it is the truth, but you just got to leave it as casual as much as you can.
I for one, always answer text messages when someone texts me. The only time I will ignore a person is when they treated me horribly.
Ironblood, she is so confused now and it seems like you are the bigger person than her at this point. I don’t think coffee is a good idea as she doesn’t want to talk to you on the phone, much more see each other in person.
Keep it casual until it’s time to talk about where you both really want to be in this relatiosnhip. But now is not that time.
I’m so sorry. 🙁 I just want to go over there and give you a hug!
Hey guys, please help me out. If Ironblood has finally had it and cuts everything completely, I bet you she will come crying and whining back to him! It starts conflicting him as well! And if he does not respond to her, he will feel guilty and start beating himself up.
ironblood keeps caving in and to me he does not seem to be keeping his word on the NC period, that’s the problem. Her mood is swinging like mad right because she is utterly confused, emotionally and rationally so someone here between the two needs to take control of the situation.
The guy needs to STAY away, he cannot blame himself for trying to sort things out for both of them! If he doesn’t understand this then this yo-yo will go on for days.The pain was almost easing off abit this week and now it’s currently worse than ever. I haven’t replied and she hasn’t bothered to message me again. I just don’t know what to do.
Ironblood: so sorry that you are going through this again. And fishingthesky said it the best that I failed to mention: it seems as if you are the bigger person between you two. I think it is you you have to make that final decision to just let go an do NC once and for all. My advice about you still keeping contact on watsapp is still an option for me, but now after reading how this is all making you feel, maybe it really is best to end it for now. Healthy relationships will never be perfect, but at the same time, they are not supposed to make us miserable too. I speak for all of us here. we are trying our best to help each other, but we are all here for a reason. We are here to learn from each other. And we’ll still be here to help each other out.
Thank you again so much but I’m not sure if I made a stupid decision or not. So i ignored her message for abit and messaged her an hour later saying “are you getting my messages” knowing i didn’t send anything. so she replies instantly saying “just got this one” and sends a screen shot of the chat. I reply saying “my whatsapp playing up” she replies “what did you say” so i phoned her after about 5 mins and when she answered she said “hello you okay” and i imeediatly said “hello, sorry i know you didn’t want to phone but i thought my phone connection was off cause my messages were not sending so i phoned to check, i didn’t realise you would answer” and she replied saying “it’s ok” so i try to have a conversation with her and she doesn’t seem as interested as yesterday. like she wouldn’t ask me any questions. i asked them all almost. although she asked me if i had checked my cough out yet after i said im still coughing. i also asked about her brothers experience at the uni (we went to same uni) and she was telling me to make sure i take the extra course seriously cause it will effect me. so i ask her after 2 mins if i should let her go cause i feel like she feels uncomfortable. she says i dont mind. so i stay and say why were you upset yesterday as a joke i said its not as if we had a depressing phone call was it? and she kind of avoided it and i asked her about work she said it was good today. then eventually we ended it. not sure what to think of this. i’m confused. the phone call lasted around 6-7 min compared to yesterdays 58 mins. what do i do?
I also made up that a foreign student had the same surname as the nickname she called me “moo” and that this one girl said it to call her friend out in a aggressive manor and it made me laugh and reminded me of you. she giggled and was like what the fuck.
like i don’t know. she seems distant again on the phone but she replies straight away on text? i don’t get it. Am i just over thinking things? or does she not want to talk anymore or what? she didn’t say she didn’t want to stop talking she just said she didn’t want to call cause it upset her. have a made a mistake? should i just play it cool? do i go nc till she replies? have i messed up!? all these thoughts. i miss her even more now. i mean why would she answer if she didn;t want to talk? why would she reply straight away if she didn’t? its like she wants to but doesn’t at the same time. so confusing . i need to take control as you rightly said. i just need some guidance and advice.
WHAT IS GOING ON!!! AS I TYPE ALL OF THIS SHE MESSAGES ME SAYING
“I’m sorry If I sound offish on the phone it’s just I really miss you and I’m just finding it hard ATM”
Incase you don’t know what atm stands for = At The Moment.
I need my brain fixed at this point. This girl confuses me.
¿¿¿SHE’S FINDING IT HARD > SHE MISSES ME???
Sorry If I wild out at times. I use this to vent as you can see in order to not do something really stupid with her. LOL you guys must be hitting your self in frustration with me. I know. It’s a confusing situation. I don’t even get it either.
DO I EVEN REPLY TO THAT LIKE WHAT THE !(*”£”7 … WHAT DO I EVEN REPLY TO THAT!!? hahaha. I’m so upset/confused I’m literally laughing at my self. Not in a crazy way but in a WHAT THE FFF IS WRONG WITH THIS FEMALE I AM IN LOVE WITH KIND OF WAY. sorry. thanks.
Ironblood: first off, please do not lie to her and play games. Like you were saying “did you get my message” even if you never sent one. And you made excuses to phone her even though she said not to call her. Yes, I know, she answered, but like you said, she didn’t not seem as enthusiastic… Because she is not. And guess what, it is not going to change any time soon if you both don’t stop playing these mind games with one another.
You got mad at her for playing games, but you are doing the same thing to her.
Now I see why me and ex have not spoken in 8 weeks. I don’t think I will be able to handle the back and forth and blind hope that I will make myself believe in.
Ironblood: you are my like my son here. I don’t want to scold you, but I may just have to come to that soon. Don’t make me do that. 🙂
To me, it is ok to text as long as your intentions are to stay casual. But you keep wanting more from her what she is not willing to give to you. To me, if you want to text back, just reply as a form of support. If she texts fine, if she doesn’t, then let it go. What is it about “casual and civil” that you can’t understand?
LOL i do need scolding. I’m stupid. You are right. I over reacted and wanted more. After she sent me that last text above. I just replied
“No it’s ok I do understand. You’re probably getting ready for bed so I’ll say goodnight. Have a good day at work. I’ll text you when I’m home if that’s ok with you.”
So I showed understanding. I was considerate and asked her permission if i could text her so she didn’t feel uncomfortable.
You are right though and this is why i come to this board. When my brain is running slow or not working you guys fix me lol. I need to go at a slower pace than i expected. I think there is some hope as she is replying and constantly saying she misses me. I guess I’ll take it slow and casual for now. Thank you for not scolding me.
I do realise i need to stop lying and playing these games. I’m as bad as her if i do so. I didn’t show that i was mad by the way. I kept is casual throughout like it wasn’t affecting me. Only you guys knew i was breaking down.
Lol i find it funny how she thinks I’m chill about it but here im fully breaking down hahaha. Thanks everyone.
ironblood
I am sorry but lol, this makes me shake my head. You are a flood of words, which I understand because you can’t control your emotions at all right now.
Quit saying you will do this and that, just do it ok? It’s pretty pointless to turn to us desperately asking for advises when you instead don’t listen and end up doing as you like anyway.
I mean dude, it’s your life, of course you make your choices, but I believe it’s in your best interest to do things the right way if you wanna solve this situation.I get that fishingthesky. I contradict my self alot. Too much. Lol.
I completely understand i can be frustrating but i do follow everyones advice here. I guess i let my self go when i did the call thing earlier. But belive me i do respect and follow all of your advice although it’s not a 100% of the time. I’d say around 85% of the time i follow it lol. But belive me it means so much to me that strangers from all over the world have come here to help me on thisboard. It’s truly amazing. Thank you again! I can happily call you all my friends if not family.
Anyway i want to keep this short cause it’s exhausting me and I’m tired. She replied saying “ok goodnight. Thank you have a good day at uni. Yeah that’s fine.”
So i guess she still wants to talk but she just misses me and shes finding it hard?? LOL confusing but ill take it slow as you guys said. I hope you are all enjoying the entertainment and frustration i bring….Lol. thank you all so much again. And be feel free to post any problems you have as I’d really love to repay you as much as possible. We are all here for each other. Shedding a damn tear lol.. (joking) good night everyone !
P.s if you guys ever feel emotional upset… whatever is on your mind. Just post it here. I don’t mind at all. Even if you are mad about a video game, work, your car? Traffic? Anxiety? A zit? Stupid thoughts? Anything no matter how ridiculous or crazy it is. Just post it here. I don’t just want all of your help. I feel selfish, I want to try and help you and of course each other. Thank you for the billionth time.
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