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Lol! Phew! Thanks again, I will keep that in mind! I didn’t send a memory text, in the reply I just said “I know how much you love it there 🙂 It’s a lovely day, a hike in the fresh air and a picnic on the summit could be just what you need 😉 🙂 ” That’s a reference to the day we spent there but hopefully it wasn’t too full on?
She posted up some photos which I liked (first time I’ve liked one of her posts (apart from the photos she took of me!) since we broke up. It looks like she enjoyed her day anyway. I won’t contact her further this week unless I hear from her first. I know I need to take things slowly, but I’m only learning as I go as to how slowly!
Wow just found the thread you mentioned there! Well, as long as you don’t mind helping me out…:) I can’t believe the difference in how I feel and how much I have learned over the past month. Thank you! 🙂
“..a picnic on the summit could be just what you need” Including this part was not a good idea as it seems a subtle hint to the time you were with her there and I’m sure she saw it as such!
It seems you’re anxious to remind her of the good times, but I can assure you that she hasn’t forgotten. Try to calm down a bit and wait to see what happens next Sunday.
You’re absolutely right, I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m not the kind of person who plays mind games, and I’ve always been so sincere with her that I really hope she won’t read too much into it. I got completely carried away. Obviously she would be thinking about our time together there anyway, as I was the last person she went there with. I will definitely calm down and not say anything like this again. I’m just so happy that she has started to trust me and contact me again. I need to be so much more patient.
It may be even worse than it seems though 🙁 I know this is an anonymous forum, but I still felt uncomfortable sharing this as she’s only ever told her husband and me about it…but she has an eating disorder. She has it under control normally, but with everything that was going on, she relapsed last week.
She told me about it on Saturday and I sent her contact numbers for helplines and gave her loads of encouragement, telling her that everyone relapses and it’s part of the recovery process, that she needs to focus on the diet that she has made for herself and has been so disciplined to stick to all this time.
She told me yesterday morning that she felt a lot better about food and that the critical moment had passed.
And straight after I had written that stupid and insensitive picnic comment, I said I was so glad to hear she was on the mend and that she felt better about food. I’m hoping against hope that she takes it to mean that a picnic could be just what she needs now that she’s feeling better, rather than a doubly ignorant and insensitive remark about our time together and about food.
I wonder should I actually write to her and apologise in this context? That I realised afterwards how that could have been taken the wrong way and I didn’t mean anything by it? It really is out of character for me to write something so blatantly insensitive. I feel terrible about it. Perhaps she’ll pass it off as me just encouraging her to eat and enjoy herself? I literally just didn’t make the connection, I was intent on referring to our time together somehow, it was a huge lapse on my part.
Maybe I should just wait until Sunday and see if she brings it up? I wasn’t planning to contact her otherwise. I think she will most likely get in touch with me around Friday/Saturday to discuss what we’re doing on Sunday. I have prepared a load of material that can really help both of us for Sunday and I told her about it last week. I’m going to have that ready to send to her if she gets in touch. I think she will really appreciate it, it will save her having to prepare anything.
I really feel like I messed up royally though. I’m hoping she doesn’t see it that way and gives me the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I should just leave it? Or would it be good to send a short apology/explanation to try and take the harm out of it? I still can’t believe I said that! Thank you again for being so perceptive. I’ve been trying to be so careful and meticulous I missed something huge…
You’ve been very supportive about everything! Don’t send an apology about the picnic and food situation (as related to her eating disorder). If she brings it up with you in person that she felt insulted in any way, then apologize and explain. Otherwise, leave it as I’m almost sure she didn’t take offense about anything in your message.
“I have prepared a load of material that can really help both of us for Sunday and I told her about it last week. I’m going to have that ready to send to her if she gets in touch. I think she will really appreciate it, it will save her having to prepare anything.”
I’m assuming the material has something to do with the sports activity?
You’re doing fine so try not to stress out so much. Good luck on Sunday:)
Thank you! I really appreciate your reassurances! 🙂 I’ll be ready to apologise and explain if she brings it up, otherwise I’ll just give her space until the weekend. I’ve also learned from this and will just be myself from now on, I won’t try to drop hints or provoke anything with her. She needs someone to support her and I will always do that.
Yes the material I’ve prepared is for the sports activity 🙂 I’ve been preparing it over the past couple of weeks and I’ll just make sure it’s completely ready for her to use as well as me.
Thank you again for everything, I really appreciate the advice and good wishes. I hope she’s feeling better and I’m looking forward to Sunday. In the meantime I’ll just relax and go about my week as normal. I’ll let you know if anything comes up between now and then 🙂
Hello again 🙂 She messaged me last night, very friendly, ended the message with an x again. I’m trying not to read into that but she didn’t always send xs when we first started spending time together so I guess if it’s any sign it’s a good sign 🙂 She says she’s feeling a lot better and has been eating vegetarian for the past week and might stick to it. She’s got a new lens for her camera and is going somewhere to try it out today. She’s had a cough but is hoping to be ok for the coaching tomorrow and said “I guess we’ll have coffee at lunch time?” and asked me how my week was.
I just replied and said how glad I am that she’s feeling better, eating vegetarian might suit her, hope she enjoys using the lens as I know she’s been looking forward to getting it and gave her some general tips about her cough. For most of the time we were together I had a 90 day viral cough so I hope I’m not being patronising giving her tips as we probably already talked about all of that, but I don’t suppose I’ve done any harm. I said coffee sounds good and asked her what group she wants to take for the coaching (I’ve finished the materials I’ve prepared and am ready to send them if she asks for them). Also told her I was really enjoying teaching my class and that I’ve taken the first step towards learning how to drive. This was something she was hoping to do too but I’m not sure how far she’s gotten with it.
I was surprised that she didn’t message me back since then, but I don’t think it was anything I said. She didn’t read the message for an hour last night even though she initiated the conversation so I guess she was just busy with something else. I did think I’d have heard back from her this morning, but I’m sure she will contact me again before tomorrow, and if she doesn’t, no big deal.
This was what bothered me during the last week when we were together, her not replying and me wondering where I stood, as everything had been so intense and we were always talking and expressing our feelings for each other. I’ve accepted that it’s just her manner, I know she has a lot going on in her head, and just because she doesn’t reply to me it doesn’t mean that I’ve said anything wrong or that things aren’t ok with her.
I’ve often had really long texting conversations with women over the years, back and forth, and it can be very invasive. It just led me to over-analyse and worry whenever their behaviour changed i.e. not replying or sending very short messages, and often times I would be right, that something was up. I think these experiences led me to feel insecure and react the way I did when we broke up. In fact, when she said “I think we said I love you too soon”, I had said this exact same thing, word for word, to an ex before, and I remember discussing this with her (the girl I’m trying win back) too! So I just assumed she meant it the same way I did that time, when actually the context was completely different. Ultimately it’s very important that we both have our own lives to lead and shouldn’t feel like a reply to a message is necessary.
I’ve also started doing Thai boxing classes twice a week with some friends that I wouldn’t normally get to see during the week, but I might just tell her about that tomorrow if an opportunity arises. I want to let her know I’m doing things with my life, but I also don’t want to overdo it and make it seem like I’m doing great, when I know she’s been having such a tough time recently.
I think the most important thing is just to be supportive of her, listen and try to really empathise with her, and be confident and happy when I see her.
Tomorrow is the first time we’ll have seen each other in person since I apologised to her. She said before she needed time to process everything I said, and joked about taking a month to do so like I did. Well, it’s been a month! 🙂 She did contact me after two weeks asking to be friends again, so that could be her way of saying she thought about what I said and decided this was best. I feel I shouldn’t ask her to talk about it all tomorrow unless she brings it up herself. What do you think?
I’m hoping to just enjoy spending time with her tomorrow and if we re-ignite the spark we had at first, that would be wonderful. I felt we really did that last time too, but it ended on a very serious note because I needed to apologise to her. I’m hoping tomorrow we just have a fun day together again 🙂
Next weekend there’s an event I’m playing in and I’d say she’ll probably be playing too, and the weekend after I think she’s going home to visit her parents for two weeks. She gets back at 1 am on a Saturday night and I think we have our coaching day again later that Sunday morning!
So there isn’t really a huge opportunity for us to meet up outside of our hobby over the next few weeks. If she’s free in two weeks time before she goes home, I’d love to meet up with her, but she may well be just really busy packing or she could well be leaving on the Friday night/Saturday morning for all I know. Very happy just to spend time with her tomorrow, hopefully see her and chat a bit next weekend if she’s there, and see how she feels when she’s back from her trip home. It’s another month away, but I can wait and I’ve a lot going on between now and then myself. It feels like things are going well but I need to take each day as it comes and be very patient. Thank you again! 🙂
Taking driving lessons and getting a driver’s license (+ buying a car) will allow you more independence and that’s a good thing:)
“I’ve often had really long texting conversations with women over the years” I hope you know too much texting and long conversations over text is exhausting. Talking in person or on the phone would be better.
Anyway, good luck and have fun tomorrow.
Thank you 🙂 I would literally only need a car to go and see her! But at least if I can drive it’s a start, I might be able to borrow one of my parent’s cars and help out with petrol/insurance. It’s something I’ve put off for too long.
I agree about the texting, it was mostly when I was in my teens/early twenties. We often sent each other long messages too, but I know she said when I first met her she much prefers to talk to people in person and also wants to have meaningful conversations with people rather than small talk. Hoping we can do that today.
She replied last night and only referred to the part of my message about the coaching, so I’m guessing we’ll pick up the casual conversation in person today. I replied last night and she only read it a few minutes ago so I think she simply didn’t want to get into a back and forth conversation and was just checking in with me before we see each other. Getting ready now and I’ll let you know how things go. Thank you so much again 🙂
Today went well, it was lovely to see her 🙂 However, it does raise questions about how I’m going to proceed…
I chatted to her briefly this morning to see how she was and she said she was feeling a bit better. We both did two hours of coaching and then went for coffee and a walk during lunch.
We caught up on a few things. I told her about the Muay Thai and she just said “omg” about it, because I’m getting so many bruises but I explained that just happens in the beginning until I get used to getting hit and my technique gets better. She said she is planning to learn to drive too but not until she finishes her course, so not until much later in the year. Her course is only going to be one night a week btw, and she’s doing it with her brother. She thinks she’ll need to study on weekends because it’s about computer programming and it’s almost like learning a language from scratch. She already speaks six languages fluently so I’m sure she’ll be fine! Her brother lives near me and she’ll be staying over with him when she goes to the course, but it’s during the week and she’ll be up at 7 am to get the tram straight into work the following morning anyway. I guess if I’m driving I could pick them up from the course but he lives quite close to town and there are loads of buses so it’s not really a big deal one way or the other.
She talked about how lonely she is during the week. We both coach individual children on Skype and she says she’s been giving them more time than she’s paid for just so she has someone to talk to! She coaches four nights a week, from Monday to Thursday. I guess if I was driving I could come over and see her during the week if she really wanted me to, but it’s not ideal as both of us have work in the morning. We used to video call on Skype/Facebook all of the time but we stopped doing that after New Year’s and the last time I asked (the day we broke up) she said she was tired and preferred to text.
We only went out during the week once, just before she went home in December, and that was lovely, but with her coaching schedule I don’t think she’d be free to go out as it would involve going into town for her, unless I came all the way out to see her. Possible if I’m driving, but there’s no quick fix before then. During the summer I’ll be off for two months, but in the meantime I don’t think I can help with this unless we go back to talking on Skype/messaging all of the time.
I also said that there’s a child moving here from England who’s very keen and I asked if she’d be interested in coaching her too, that I thought of her as soon as I heard about it. She said she has a lot of students already but would be happy to take on another one because “what else would she be doing?” I think she’s feeling very lonely and needs friends more than anything else, but perhaps she wants to keep me at arms’ length because she still doesn’t feel ready for a relationship. I just don’t know what to do. I think she’s very conflicted too!
Her voice had gone by the end of the day so I took all of the kids and did the final hour with them while she watched. It was a lot of fun (I was in my element, it was like the hobby we play and the teaching I do for a living all coming together) and I was delighted she was there to watch, and also that I was helping her out because her voice was gone.
She made no reference to what I said to her the last time we saw each other, except to say that she loved the present I gave her. She admitted she had been bragging about it to the kids! She didn’t mention me, but told them that her friend got her a book signed by the author, who’s her favourite author! They were very impressed and I just made a joke about having friends in high places. I was chuffed that she liked it so much. She said she’d love to meet him, and said that one of the other Irish teams asked her to play in the league in England that I play in at the final weekend in May (the author plays on the same team as me). She’ll be away for it, but said she would consider it next season (it begins again in November). I once again told her that we were always looking for female players and my team pays expenses too so she’d be more than welcome to play for us (I had said it to her before when we were together, but it didn’t suit her).
We also saw a street singer whose CD I got for her, and she pointed him out to me and mentioned that I had bought her the CD and thanked me again. I said if we’d known we’d run into him, we could have gotten him to autograph the CD and she blushed. It was a nice moment and a good memory. The night I bought her that was after a date we had where she had been in foul form all day and I reacted badly and, in her words, was a bit harsh to her. It was nice to see she remembered the positive thing about it, that I bought the CD without her realising and surprised her with it on the way home.
There’s a junior tournament that we’re going to be coaching together at, but it’s not until the end of July. It will involve us staying overnight in a hotel in another county/state for a few days. I mentioned this to her and told her the dates to see if she was free, and she said yes she’s definitely going to do it, but also visibly reacted when she found out we’d be staying over together (in separate rooms, but still!) I was cool about it and just passed it off as a necessity, but I’ve a feeling we were both thinking the same thing, that perhaps we’d be tempted to spend the nights together. I don’t know for sure, but she definitely sort of smiled/grinned a bit.
She’s looking forward to going home soon, but it’s not until the end of April. She said she was going home for Easter, but Easter in her country is two weeks later than it is here, that’s how I mixed it up. She can’t wait to see her parents, she says she’s going to visit her grandmother’s grave and hopefully get highlights in her hair. I’m hoping she feels great afterwards and I’ll see her the day after she gets back for more coaching, but that’s six weeks away.
I offered to send her materials for the next session, especially because she’ll be away before it, but she says she’ll prepare something herself. She appreciates everything I’ve sent to her, but she also says she’d rather I didn’t send her so much as she feels like she owes me. I’ve told her many times to think nothing of it, but she feels that way about a lot of things, meals and coffees too, so I absolutely respect that.
I walked her to her tram stop and went grocery shopping with her along the way. She wouldn’t let me carry the bag for her, but it wasn’t so heavy anyway. She said she always seems to get the same cashier when she goes to that shop, and he’s seen her with her ex-husband, her brother and me! We laughed and I just said he must think she has all these men to do her shopping for her! When her tram came we shared a tight hug and I told her she could message me anytime.
We’re both playing in a team tournament next weekend (starting on Friday) and there’s actually a very good chance that we’ll play against each other at some point. I’d rather not, but we’ve discussed this before and it shouldn’t be a big deal, we just play and forget about everything, and go back to normal after the game.
Here’s the really good news: she wants to meet up the weekend after next! She suggested we go for a walk along the beach (on the other side of the city, not the one we went to before where she was with her brother last weekend). This was something she mentioned to me when we were together, but the weather was never good for it and we didn’t get around to doing it. It will be a walk and a hike up a hill overlooking the sea. I’m really looking forward to it, I think it could be very romantic, just like the other beach walk was the first time, and I’m sure we’ll get to talk a lot.
However, I get the impression from her that she’s simply not ready to start a relationship, but she’s also very lonely. She was used to living with her husband and seeing him when they both got home from work. However, she wasn’t happy for months with him as he went out to play poker on weekends and left her alone anyway. I think she’s conflicted and still has negative thoughts about getting involved with me so soon after her marriage, like she told me back in January.
She said then that she felt “weak” for getting involved with me in that way. I couldn’t be there all of the time and couldn’t replace her husband in this way. She had just met me and it wasn’t like we’d be able to move in together straight away! I told her before that I wasn’t a replacement for her husband, that I’m a different person and many things would be different with our relationship. Some at first wouldn’t be as good (such as how much time we’d spend together, how much we’d see each other’s families), but that other things would be better and over time everything would be great. I really believed that and I think she wanted to believe it too.
I want to be there for her and I care about her more than anyone I’ve ever met. I’m just unsure whether I should push her to talk about things with me or just support her totally as a friend. Maybe I should just see how the next two weekends go? Is there anything else I can do? When we see each other in two weeks time for the walk, it will have been six weeks since I apologised to her. I wonder should I bring up the apology and ask her if she’s still processing everything I said? Or will I just see how the day goes and see if we share any romantic moments and be ready to respond to any signals she might give me?
I am so sorry for the incredible length of this post, I just wanted to be thorough! As always I really appreciate any insight you might have. I think there are a lot of positive things to take from today, but I’m also totally confused about how she’s feeling and what I can do about it! Other than being patient 🙂 Thank you so much again 🙂
Sorry, just a quick edit: She apologised again for cancelling last weekend and just said she didn’t feel ok and she cancelled on her husband and a girl friend of hers that I’m guessing she hasn’t seen in a while. She said her grandmother’s death hit her pretty hard on top of everything else and I just told her how strong she is.
When we were saying goodbye and hugging she thanked me for spending time with her. I said I would see her this Friday and the weekend after, and I just told her to message me any time she likes.
Thank you!
I’m glad things went well on Sunday and that she wants to meet up weekend after next. I’m starting to think you’re coming on too strong with suggestions, trying to help her and such. And sorry to say, she might feel a bit smothered by it. She even asked you not to send her so much, that’s a hint to back off a bit!
“..wonder should I bring up the apology and ask her if she’s still processing everything I said?” I think she has processed everything in her own head, but hasn’t mentioned it because she’s still confused and conflicted. You could bring it up, but don’t pressure her for reconciliation as clearly she’s not ready to make a decision one way or the other.
She might be lonely at times, but she’s a grown person and can deal with it. Please don’t offer any suggestions about it..
“During the summer I’ll be off for two months, but in the meantime I don’t think I can help with this unless we go back to talking on Skype/messaging all of the time.” As hard as it is, I think you should continue to be patient and take her lead as to whether or not to Skype/message. You mustn’t make her feel pressured in any way whatsoever.
Thank you very much, I feel like you’ve opened my eyes to a real issue that I’ve developed. She mentioned this to me before on New Year’s. She appreciated how kind I had been to her, but also felt like it was too much. We have so much in common that I found for almost the first time in my life I had so many ideas to be thoughtful and kind towards her, and this, coupled with her going through a tough time and me being madly in love with her, caused me to get completely carried away trying to help her and be kind to her.
I had all these plans to get her favourite flowers delivered to her house for her birthday, and I told her this on New Year’s and she said she’d only ever want a husband to do that for her, that it was too much. She said lots of girls would be turned off by this. At first she was receptive to the little things I did to be kind to her, but over time I guess it just became too much. She also said her ex-husband was very good to her in the beginning too, but things didn’t work out with him.
She said she was always very good to him during the marriage and did everything for him (I think we’re more alike than she realises!) and she felt like he took her for granted. I took this to heart and told her I would never take her for granted, and try to show her that I loved her every day. This resulted in things becoming far too intense to maintain.
I think that’s part of the reason I was so hurt when we broke up, and why I felt used to begin with. It didn’t tally with what I knew about her, I knew she appreciated the things I had done for her, but I couldn’t understand why she was so willing to throw everything away.
There were and there are times where she does need someone to talk to, to confide in, to be kind to her…but she always reaches out and says so when she does. I think that simply listening and being there for her, as opposed to coming up with all these suggestions, is more what she needs. I don’t think she’ll ever call a helpline, go for counselling or see a therapist. People going through a tough time often just need someone to listen, and aren’t receptive to suggestions as to how they can feel better straight away. I think understanding this might be a huge step in the right direction for me.
It partly comes from my job as a teacher. I’ve a great rapport with all of the children I’ve taught over the past few years, some of them have serious emotional needs, and they’re always coming to me for help and advice. It’s part of my job to help them and I always try to go above and beyond for them. I am very involved in my work and I just enjoy helping people. It’s the same with my own friends, they often come to me when they need someone to listen to them or help them out with something. I generally think nothing of it because I’m used to it, but I can understand how treating a girlfriend/lover in the same manner, when a relationship is supposed to be 50/50, could make them feel uncomfortable or smothered and push them away.
What I’ve also realised is that my mother is exactly the same! People often tell her she is “too nice” and it really annoys her! There are times where she does things for me that I absolutely don’t need her to do, and it drives me nuts! 😛 I’ve often said it to her, but she gets very offended and feels like it means I don’t appreciate anything she does. I usually end up apologising (she’s my mother after all!) and just try to pre-empt what she might try to do in future so that I make sure I do it first!
I think this is similar to my reaction when we broke up, and why I almost fell back into the same pattern when interacting with her this week. The first time she spoke to me after no contact before the last coaching session, she genuinely hadn’t prepared anything and was looking for help. It was different this time, she had prepared something, but because I had put so much effort into the materials I had worked on, I asked if she wanted me to send them on to her too, and again for the next session. Same with when she was feeling down about her grandmother and when she cancelled last weekend, I could probably have helped her feel better without recommending lots of different things to her.
Being aware of this will really help me keep a clear head in future and hopefully not fall into this trap again. I completely understand how overbearing it can be. As you said, she is a grown person and can look after herself. I always tell her how strong she is, how much I admire her and how much she has overcome already. I think this is more of the sort of encouragement she needs to hear, as opposed to loads of things I think might help her that in reality she won’t be receptive to.
I wonder having realised this, should I mention it to her when I see her? That I realised how overbearing I can be when trying to help, that I understand why I’ve been acting like this and that I’m working on it? Or will I simply just be conscious of it myself and hold back in future?
I was already thinking last night that I would look up vegetarian picnic ideas and make something for her to bring on our walk. I think now I should just follow her lead on this, or wait until she contacts me and suggest we both bring food if she’d like to. There were times where I surprised her with something thoughtful when we were together, and she definitely liked it, and of course I got a kick out of it, but ultimately I overdid it and pushed her away. She already knows I can be thoughtful and kind, I think you’re right that the main thing now is that I need to back off! That would also show I’m listening to her wishes and trying to respond in the right way.
You’re absolutely right about the apology as well, I won’t bring it up and just be thankful that she wants to spend time with me.
I interpreted what she said to me yesterday about feeling lonely as a cry for help, but I’ve realised now that she’s simply stating facts and that she’s handling it herself. Us talking on Skype all of the time wasn’t a sustainable solution either, so I guess it’s just something she needs to deal with herself, and I’ve no doubt that she will.
Right now I’ll just focus on preparing for the tournament this weekend and leave her be, the same way I did during No Contact. She knows she can reach out to me if she wants and I don’t need to remind her.
Thank you again for all of this feedback. Now that I’m aware that this is a serious issue, I can avoid it becoming a personality flaw and hopefully not push her away a second time!
Regarding your mother:”There are times where she does things for me that I absolutely don’t need her to do, and it drives me nuts!” Now you know how your ex feels.
“She already knows I can be thoughtful and kind, I think you’re right that the main thing now is that I need to back off! That would also show I’m listening to her wishes and trying to respond in the right way.” Correct!! And if she really needs your advice, she will ask.. And yes, she knows how to reach you if she wants to talk.
“I wonder having realized this, should I mention it to her when I see her? That I realized how overbearing I can be when trying to help, that I understand why I’ve been acting like this and that I’m working on it? Or will I simply just be conscious of it myself and hold back in future? NO, don’t mention it and don’t try to explain! Prove to her that you respect her wishes by backing off and not smothering her with too many suggestions!
There are times you can be supportive without over doing it..
Yes, follow her lead regarding food for a picnic..
I don’t think she ever “used” you. You did nice things because YOU wanted to.
Remember, take things slowly and be more patient.
Yep! They say acquired habits are hereditary…I’m just glad I’m now aware of this and can stop it becoming ingrained in my personality. Thank you!
That’s perfect, I will leave her to herself, just act normally this weekend and look forward to seeing her the following weekend.
Great, I will say nothing and just prove it to her by my actions (inactions as the case may be!) She also suggested a book to me, about the vegetarian dieting which she has been trying, so I’ve got it on my phone now and I might try and read it before our walk and form some opinion about it. That would also show that I’m listening and interested in what she has to say. I don’t know if that would backfire, she might not have expected me to read it at all, but listening to her and following her suggestions can’t be a bad thing?
I absolutely agree, I don’t think she used me either, but having thought about everything and the comparisons with my mother, I understand why I felt that way in the beginning. It was just a default reaction because I really cared about her and I got defensive when she realised it wasn’t what she wanted.
There was an element of me saving her from a difficult situation, that was definitely part of our dynamic in the beginning and I fell head over heels into it. She had said she basically wanted me to replace her husband, but I think the reason she broke up was because she realised how unrealistic this was and she needed time to figure out what she really wanted on her own. Whereas I took it to mean that the whole thing had been a fling to her and became very hurt.
It was a misunderstanding on my part and it took me a lot of time (and help and advice from you!) to realise this. I hope my apology has set things straight as best I can. I will definitely be more patient. Once I have the reassurance that I’m doing the right thing, that’s all that matters to me. I never expected things to move so quickly with her in the beginning, and I want to get it right this time, if (or when) she’s willing.
She once sent me a message literally detailing all of the things she loved about me. I’m going to find it, read it, and focus on showing these qualities more often and work on the personal faults I have. I know exceptional circumstances brought us together to begin with, but I’m hoping that, whenever she’s ready, we can recapture those feelings again. Thank you for your honesty and supporting me with all of this, I really appreciate it.
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