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Hi .. um I love my bf very much. We met in college and we were together for 4 years. He is an introvert. We both are in a long distance relationship because his university is in another city. He visits this city on weekends only. We met a few times till now and we both have stayed loyal like for 4 years. Im insecure when he adds any girl on fb though but he avoids getting into girls much as compared to his bros. He is a decent being but we fight at times. He has a habit of threatening to breakup when he thinks im confronting something to him. He says that he isnt gud enuff for me so let’s breakup. And I always call or text a million times and ask him to sort it out and then he finally gets better. And then we go all lovey dovey again. He usually cares alot for me and loves me alot.
On 15th Nov, we had a date and I held his cell to see his pics and later I just saw his watsapp..he wasnt panicking about me seeing his cell phone. But I saw a girl on watsapp. She came back to talk to him, apparently she asked him for a book. Her name is mahin and she loved my bf but he wasnt in a serious relationship with her. This is before I came into his life. But I saw her notions and asked him about it and he deleted her from everywhere without any hesitation. Now 4 years later that cunning gal has come back to woo him again. Although he wasn’t responding with zest to her but I got upset n cried n walked out. He came after me and later we both got our issue sorted out and he convinced me that he only loves me and no one else and gave proofs.
But I was cold later on.2 days later when I got better, he turned cold. I asked him and he asked me that why did u check my cell at first place. U shud respect my privacy and as far as im not deceiving u, im allowed to have a private life of my own. I kept on pleading that its just HER that im not comfortable with. But I could see he started a blame game just to bail out of thr guilt that he hid stuff about her from me. His friends told him that it was wrong of me to see his cell. And his male ego got boosted. He said that u shud move on and find someone else, perhaps someone who understands u or is like u . Im not the one. U shud move on.
He left me crying and I sent him voice texts , watsapp texts, text messages that its not at all a prob upon which we are fighting and tried to lower down his temper.
He always does this.
He scares me with a breakup to avoid any confrontation I do .. he skips the issue and makes me guilty by announcing a break up and then I desperately ask him not to break up everytime. And when we re done with that part.. he admits that he himself cant endure a break up with me.he just says it.This time im not letting his ego win but still I dont wana breakup with him.
I own an art page. He didnt respond to my texts anywhere but liked my painting and display pic next day and acted normal on fb with his friends.
I didnt contact him that day as I already said enough the night before out of desperation.
But 2 days later he deleted me from fb cuz mayb3 he saw I was indifferent to his announcement of our breakup and he wanted me to plead again maybe. He knows I do when he deletes my account during a fight.3 days gone. He again commented on my sketches on a page and said “best artist ever !!”..
Maybe to gain my attention as im going NC on him after that night.
I didnt respond to it.
Its been 7 days to our breakup now and he hasnt responded to my texts, deleted me from fb, didnt block me like before, didnt unlike my page, and also commented on my sketches and complimented my work.What the hell is going on ; (
I want him back. But I want my pride too. I cant go so desperately after him every single time otherwise he ll always threat me with a breakup in life. And he wont learn to behave in a relationship. I cant leave but pls help me out of this mess :'(You need to follow the plan, is time for you to work on yourself and get balanced again.
This sounds like an unhealthy relationship 🙁
Once you work on yourself and give your ex the space he needs, you can then re-evaluate your situation again.
Sounds like you are acting very needy, insecure and desperate and the only way to get off that crazy train is to go NC, believe me I been there!
I once had an ex who did that to me, every fight he would threaten to break up with me, then one day I got tired of it and I told him I was done. Started working on myself and next thing you know I was moving on and he wanted me back, the only problem was that by then I wanted nothing to do with him!
And is not about pride, is about self respect, you are so right, you should not not be chasing him each time.
Stop chasing him, stop the social media stalking and see what happens.Hey ^_^ I got it now.. he is chasing me and its been 3 to 4 days I practiced NC and he tries to be “visible” to me whether its social media or something else. He himself talked to me and told me that he misses me. I asked if he wants to leave and he said that he doesn’t want to end this.
Still im done chasing him and im realising my self worth now.
I just wanna become a girl a guy would love to have. Im done being a pet. Now I wanna act as a lady of great value 🙂
Thanks alot for the help ..God bless u and im following ur advice religiously.Glad to hear!
keep it up, don’t chase guys. And read up more on how to behave like a woman of great value, a funny thing happens when you value yourself… other people value you as well.
Just don’t play games, if you are keeping contact with him then just let him come to you and mirror his actions.
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