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Alright so my ex and I got back together a week ago. Everything is great when we’re together but then when she’s not with me she gets distant. She says she’s confused about us being together she wants t be wth me but is confused about it and feels like we shouldnt. I’m giving the relationship all of my effort but she really isn’t atm. I’m trying to get her to fall in love with me again. Maybe it will just take time but I’m just confused and giving it my all but she is still unsure, when we’re together everything is great and doing awesome but yeah when we aren’t she starts t hithinking about us and like we shouldn’t be ding this. She agreed to go to counseling with me so it’s a start. I’m jut giving it my all abd idk what else to do to get her trust back and make her want to put effort into this relationship. Thanks
Hi,
Just try to continue to do everything in your power to show her you care. Send her cheap flowers to her house or job, text her whenever you can, etc. She agreed To go to counseling so she wants to make it work.I wish you the very best. If after all your attempts still go unnoticed and cold, then it may be time to think about what you really want.
Its more important to understand why you guys broke up and why did you guys decide to get back.
In this you’ll find the answer to her not committing herself totally, her insecurities, her fears, etc. Once you find that out, it will be easier for you to decide if you can work on those issues and then it can be decided if you’re capable of putting those efforts.
Flowers, etc is just a temporary solution. Its a good gesture but temporary. Break up didnt happen cos you didnt send her flowers. So try to dig deeper.
Good luck!
Hello Sdelgado94,
*I know other people have already replied to you but here’s what I think.*
I have two questions for you, how long were you dating? and why did you break up? If you can answer the second one then that’s good. You need to know why you broke up in the first place, the real reason, if you don’t know dont badger or nag at her, find a way to bring it up in conversation. If you already know then that’s great, focus on fixing what was wrong with the relationship.
Okay you said you were giving it your all and she wasn’t, I would like to say that you deserve the same amount of affection you give her, i’m actually kinda jealous, your odds are looking better than they are in my Ex-relationship lol. What I am going to say tho, if you know the problem I want you to do this, you said you were trying as hard as you can… do you love her? If you answered yes then… try harder. I don’t want you to overwhelm her and I don’t want you to sacrifice all your hopes, dreams, goals etc for her, but you do need to try harder! If she is distant when you guys are apart figure out why… also have less time apart, fight for her, even if she seems like she wouldn’t fight for you.
I really do hope it works out because my relationship isn’t, I’ve been broken up with for the past month and a half, I did NCR and am starting to text her every week, I have exciting news every week and she’s acting neutral, there’s no affection at all… she just basically answers all my questions and gives her input/ opinions, she doesn’t really bring up new topics. It hurts me every day, I feel like i’m drowning slowly, I’m not trying to throw a sob story at you but… I am 18, I survived cancer, my dad left, and other father figures left, I move to a new house every year… but you know what, the pain I feel from the breakup doesn’t compare to anything I have been through, and I would do it all again if it meant I could settle down with her and be happy… My point is that even when my odds are a thousand to one, i’ll try and I wont stop trying so neither should you!
Good luck,
John C.
Thanks for your reply. We were dating for 3 years. At a point in our relationship we started argueing alot and it got to much. I promised I would change and I didnt. So I screwed up and she ended it. She’s giving me one more chance to prove to her I can change but she has her doubts. She says don’t get my hopes up and what not. I won’t give up though.I told her I will not stop fighting for her and I wont. I’m in love with her and if it destory’s me trying to make her fall in love with me again then so be it. I’m sorry to hear your situation you sound like a strong person ! Keep on pushing!
But the reason she is so doubtful and not totally in the relationship is because she has her guard up still because she fears I didn’t change and it will go back to how it was. But maybe time is what will bring our love back.
I hope for you the best manThank you for your reply. Well we broke up because of me. I screwed up you can look at my previous post If you want to know why. But I’ve apoligized so many times. I even made a video and put it on youtube. Called I’m sorry miriam r.
I told her I know why she broke up with me and knew everything I did wrong and now changing things for good. I had anger problems and now going to therapy for it. I’m doing everything to change for her and I think she still has her guard up and scared to give in the relationship then see I didn’t change and get hurt again.
Thand againOkay I’m glad you are so confident, you are strong and don’t give up, like me 🙂
I however don’t want you do destroy your life to get her back, that is totally the wrong way to think lol, do everything you can to get her back yes but don’t let her walk all over you please. she will see that as you being needy and weak.
It’s like this, if I was broken up with and then tried to commit suicide would that make the situation better, would that show how much I love her? No, It would make me seem unstable and like I need help, she may stay with me for another month because she’s scared but that would only make her resent you.
Don’t be a Doormat! If she is taking you for granted and you genuinely feel that she is, tell her to stop or it won’t work out, don’t seem needy!
Non of this is meant to be rude 🙂 I used caps to mark important parts. Good luck and if you got questions as away.
– John Crane
Thank you it didn’t sound rude :). But yeah atm it seems she is walking all over me but I think it’s cus I want this more than she does but I think I need to be patient and get her trust back. Shes just scared still. I just dont know if me trying to work so hard and always contact her is the wrong way of doing this? Should I just start to play it cool instead of trying so hard . Like I text her everyday very loving things but she doesn’t text back then says sorry I’m just cinfused but then acts head over heels when we’re together. I guess in time I will get her trust and love back. I guess she has her hopes since she’s with me any ways .
Less contact when you aren’t together please… Just focus on fun when you are together, it’s so important to not let her walk all over you, don’t be needy.
You can still text and call but wait for her to do it first sometimes.
If you continue to be super needy and letting her walk all over you the relationship will end. Be confident in yourself and treat her well but don’t be a doormat.
Thank you for your advice . Yeah that’s how I’ve been doing it now and it seems to work she’s slowly falling in love with me again. I know I can do this. Thanks!
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