Boards › Reconciliation › Advice please
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March 12, 2015 at 10:53 am #35960
Anyone else have some insight on the situation?
March 13, 2015 at 6:53 am #36202Bump
March 13, 2015 at 8:09 am #36209Sometimes it’s just hard to see your ex on Facebook. I’ve thought about unfriending my ex. It doesn’t necessarily mean she’s trying to get rid of you. But trust me social media makes the healing process a lot harder. Maybe it’s best for the both of you. Keep up what you’re doing!
March 13, 2015 at 8:27 am #36214My ex deleted me off facebook a week after we broke up. Gave the reason that it was for my benefit bla bla. At first I was gutted. But it has definitely helped not being able to see who is liking his pics, when he’s on, what statuses he is putting up etc. I was obsessing over his facebook, and now I don’t have to worry about that and it was like a weight had been lifted
March 13, 2015 at 8:31 am #36215Yea see it hurts to see that we arent friends and stuff anymore but i understand that not seeing each others stuff is for the best. Plus if she wants to delete me off FB and instagram, she wouldnt of waited 20 days after, right? She would of did it already.
March 13, 2015 at 8:41 am #36217Yeah definitely. Like I said, my ex did it after a week. Hated him for it at the time but it’s been the best thing he’s done. I couldn’t stop myself from looking on his facebook allllll the time. Seeing how many girls were liking his stuff. I was driving myself insane. And he was using it to try and make me jealous all the time. There was one girl we had a problem with when we were together, as soon as he breaks up with me, he’s putting up pictures and you can see he is messaging her. He did it to hurt me. So I’m glad he deleted me from facebook so I didn’t have to see anymore.
March 13, 2015 at 8:48 am #36219Well i hope she didnt do it cause she thinks i was stalking her lol. It wasnt that at all. I havent liked one thing on either site and then i like 1 thing she likes on a random page too and she does this, so thats why im worrying cause i dont wanna lose any progress with her. ya know?
March 13, 2015 at 8:53 am #36221Yeah I know what you mean. Mine was the same. I didn’t like anything, wasn’t putting anything on my facebook, nothing on his. I got drunk, I liked ONE picture he put up (it was a funny one) and then the next morning he deletes me and tells me that it’s because he thinks me not seeing his stuff is good for me. He was right but it’s a crap reason to delete me lol.
March 13, 2015 at 8:59 am #36222Yep it is. I hope me and her can reconcile one day. I really saw her as the one forever. Dont think ill be able to get close to another person for a long time. Been with plenty of women in my day but she was really the only girl i brought home to mom and dad. I felt inside that she was the one
March 13, 2015 at 9:05 am #36225I know the feeling hun. I felt the same about my one. And all my family thought it too. fundamentally there was nothing wrong in our relationship. I was suffering depression and didn’t realise, and it broke down the relationship because I was just irritated all the time. That’s all that happened. He claimed he wasn’t in love with me anymore, I don’t blame him. And we broke up. I’m not 100% sure we will get back together, in fact I’m not even 20% sure lol. BUT I have been making the most of my NC and getting myself together. Counselling, gym, eating, going out. And I feel a lot better for it. Icing on the cake would be if we got back together, but I am not going to rush anything to make him feel pressured.
March 13, 2015 at 10:00 am #36241See its the other way around. I always happy go lucky and i get along with people all the time. My gf was more like you. She was always depressed, angry, was taking meds and stuff. I always made her smile tho. Yea we had fights about stupid stuff but still. Whats your take on that @KD1988?
March 13, 2015 at 10:04 am #36243Well being on the other side of it like your gf, I didn’t realise at the time what was wrong with me. I had taken some medication that hadn’t agreed with me, and then it just spiralled from there even after I stopped taking it. MY ex was really supportive at first, but he just lost interest in me, didn’t find me attractive anymore and I don’t blame him one bit. I think eventually it just caught up on him and he just gave up on me. He apologised for not being able to try harder with me, which made me feel even worse. Like I was a massive burden on him. It’s only when he ended it that I realised how bad I had got and wanted to sort myself out. I started NC and have made some real positive changes and progress. If she is anything like me, then time away will make her realise something similar, and she may be sorting herself out too. If she hasn’t realised how she is feeling, then it’s hard to help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.
March 13, 2015 at 11:57 am #36264Exactly! Im afraid of that. I hope she takes this time to realize this. Probally not but still. And if we are not going to get back together right now or ever and we talk, i think i should say something about it. She knows what meds she takes, she knows that drinking with them is terrible, but she does it anyway. She has been the same girl since i met her. She truly does not want to help herself. I just hope she opes her eyes before its to late. @KD1988
March 13, 2015 at 11:59 am #36265I would of loved to be there to hold her hand along the way and support her, but she never took the steps. She only took the one step and broke up with me. If your not happy as a person, you cant be happy with someone else. I wish she could see that. I wasnt the problem, just like she said multiple times. I believe she needs to go to seek professinal help, but she wont. We talked about b4 in the realtionship, and 2 years later, she was still the same. The only reason i stayed with her is because i see potenial in her. She is a great person blinded by mixed emotions and medication. I hope she turns around and realizes that I wasnt the problem at all, but it was her that was the problem in our realtionship. She needs to do this for herself.
March 13, 2015 at 12:02 pm #36267It’s really hard to make someone realise it or do something about it, they have to realise it themselves. My mum tried so hard and I ignored her. She has to want to do it.
I wish my boyfriend hadn’t given up on me. -
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