A bit stuck….

[Laurais13]

Well yesterday night I went out and my favorite yoga person contacted me, and she is like really famous has a bunch of followers like more than a million so I felt really happy. And also got happy cause He has been looking to everything I post on snapchat, he is always the first, so, I think that means something right?
But Im also sad cause he retweets the stuff she tweets and the tweets dont even have to do with him and she just mentioned him in a tweet, she was showing pictures of this dog, it is a husky, it is his favorite breed and we always said we were going to have one, cause its mine too. That brought me down a little… And I am trying to forget him… Even if I go 30 days Idk if i should talk to him. I know he was probably angry when he sent the picture with the girl, but it was pretty low. I am not ugly and she is uglier than me, he knows I can do the same if I want, boys also want me.

Do you have any advice of how guys deal with rebound relationships?

[Nick]

Hmmmm.. him being the first to look at the snapchats, could be just chance or he is curious. I would say its good 🙂

Him re tweeting somewhat sounds like he is playing some sort of physiological game. It could be he just is rewteeting them because he wants to. But If he never did that sort of thing before it might be something in his head is still going on.

I have played the physiological game but never found any results until you have said this about him re tweeting. It a way of getting in front of someone with out them really knowing and you can never really know for sure.

It seems he might be playing it to make you go more crazy so I would just ignore the re tweets and let him think he is winning. He will soon doubt him self if you don’t make any contact.

For your question of guys in rebound relationships, now this is not my own experience but from what I have somewhat seen from friends do. Guys tend to not share their emotions between friends from what I have seen, girls usually speak to friends and family for comfort (I assume). But really I am not sure on a guy rebounding after he has broken up with you, I know that if you broke up with him he is trying to play the jealousy game which is bad! But I am not quite sure to be honest.

I will give that one a think!

[Laurais13]

Well whatever it is what I had with him was longer and intense, and I knew he meant the stuff he said so… But idk if he is playin a head game, I dont follow him on twitter and he doesn’t follow me either, but he knows me so he knows i can stalk him. I am not sure, I better not over think this.
Do you have any other way we can contact, you are showing to be a realy good friend(:

[Nick]

I was just thinking about asking the same question but I was thinking is that weird haha

I have Skype add me Hunter14288

Also that’s really nice! Thanks you! Wish I said that first 🙂

[Nick]

God I hate going out (clubs) always think I see her. Really is just horrible, I am actually out at the moment trying to get her of my mind but god alcohol is not the answer to this. Just brings it all back! Feel horrible, one of my mates knows about my story but he’s with his girl which just makes me feel worse :'(

[Hamuel]

I’m finding myself in a very similar situation right now buddy!
The best advice I’ve been given is the 30 day no contact rule.
Even though it’s hard (I was “dating” a girl for a month and a half but we were never boyfriend and girlfriend) and the same thing is happening to me. It’s painful to remember how good of a time you spent with someone that was so close to being much more.

In those 30 days you need to get the best out of yourself. So when you do finally talk to each other, she sees something even better than before. Good luck. 😀

Feel free to leave a post on my issue, it’s titled something like “any advice will be greatly appreciated!”

[Nick]

30 contact rule is a real killer for the first 2 weeks. In week 3 now starting to get better but having big lows at night.

Cannot stand it when my flat mate talks about how hes been chatting to girls. I don’t want to tell him to stop talking about them because I am happy for him but its bringing back so many feelings!

Just cannot believe she did this just before I started UNI again!

[Nick]

Any one help with this a bit more of the story.

This is what I don’t get, 1 night she rings me up just to chat as normal all happy all is good we speak about a wedding that she invited me too which is 2 days away. Next day we text though out the day then I have to go to hospital to see my nan so I turn my phone off. In there for like 1 hour, I come out text her saying “sorry was in hospital, talk when I get back xxx” She replies with “Not a great time hun xxx” I reply with “No worries talk tomz xxx” no reply… Wedding day she looked amazing omg….. :’D Quickly I can tell something is off she’s not her self. Cutting the story short, I ask her cousin what’s wrong “oh she had a falling out with her mom” I’m was panicking like shit before but when she told me that I calm right down like oh this will pass right over. Well I was completely wrong. We go to where the after party is and an hour later, I walk up to her and she grabs her friends hand and says “Just going to the loo” I go talk to this guy I have been speaking to and he offers to buy me a drink while I’m walking out side her friend comes out which went to the loo with her and says “She wants you to go as she doesn’t want you to see her like this, text me tomorrow” I am like right I will go, I ring a taxi and her friend goes “Shell I get her to say good bye” I said “please”. I’m thinking right if she doesn’t come out that’s it, it over right her right now. But she comes out gives me a hug and says “I will text you” So 2 days go, no text. I contact her cousin and she says “She gone into her stupid corner she does this now and then”

I assume the answer will be NC?

[Nick]

Yesterday was a really big low I felt horrible, I was angry that we split and just wanted to scream as loud as I could. So instead I took my anger out on a pillow haha (punched it right out)

I had one of the worst sleeps I have ever had last night, kept dreaming about her and suddenly waking up like every half an hour. Must have woke up at least 10-15 times and no lie at all!

Once it got time to get up I got up put some music on got ready and went to uni with my flatmate. First lecture we had a really good debate on our subject which I think started my logical thinking again. I feel a lot different after that, so weird.

As I am writing this, she is popping in my head but only the good points and I am smiling that I had such a great and amazing time with her.

I feel as my 30 days are almost up only 5 days left now, in a way I understand her more and I can see the reasons why we split.

I am just hoping she doesn’t ignore me that will probably just set me off again. But I am telling my self over and over again to not panic stay cool and continue on with having a fun life.

I am thinking of a few messages I could text her, I will post them on her for you lot to read and comment on them or just pick which one is best.

[Nick]

So here are a few texts I came up with. Reading over the again again make them sound so dumb….

1
“Hey you, me and my mates just had a meal at a Mexican and it reminded me of that awesome day we had! Hope you are well!”

2
“Hey you, just watch the first episode of orange is the new black! So glad you recommend it! Hope you are well!

3
“Hey you, did see the tweet from JK Rowling about the new Harry potter! Hope all is well!”
(She is a harry potter geek) haha

Any advise would be amazing!! 😀

[otherone]

i dunno if you should say that you hope shes well. it might be a little too clingy?
just my opinion.

[Nick]

Any other advice???

My flatmate said they are a bit formal and should be more relaxed.

[aamls]

yeah I think the first one sounds the best. @Barmbie how does hope your doing well sound clingy? can ya read my post and help me out. thanks 🙂

[Nick]

Haha great minds think a like! Comment on each other post at the same time haha!

[otherone]

i dunno it just sounds like.. well yeah exactly, a bit formal. i think its giving too much away.. like you said one thing (the thing that supposed to catch her attention) and then ask her a question. shes not gonna respond to the first bit, and thats what you want. otherwise you might as well just send her a message saying, ‘hope youre are well’. i just think you should keep these things as sort as possible. My personal opinion. i could be wrong, but i think you have to make contacting your ex (no matter the situation) all about her.

dont tell her how you feel, that you miss her, or thank her for the good times. she needs to remember these things herself and by you shoving them in your exs face, will just push them away. Sorry Nick, none of this is directed at your situation, but if it helps, it helps. i just think this is were most people screw up, because come on, what is the likeliness of your ex and you never speaking again? if you were once really close, im sure it will happen. maybe not sometime soon, but it will happen when they get over the pain.

my first love broke my heart and i never thought id recover. it was messy for a long time. i hadnt spoken in 2 years or so and things were still pretty awkward then but after my ex and i broke up, my first love started talking to me again and i mean really talking. (not flirting or anything i made it pretty clear i still love my ex) but shed tell me things about her sex life (how she couldnt be satisfied by anyone after me in the 5 years we were apart, other various things) So yeah, dont lose hope. things are never as bad as they seem. just grow and become a better person. learn from the mistakes that were made in the relationship and try not do let it all happen next time. Trust more and love more. (at least, these are things i wish i done)

[Author]

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