7 days of NC

Hello guys.

So me and a girl whom i dated for 6-8 months, broke up with me december 3rd.
Our relationship was really hard, but we liked each other alot.

What made it so hard, was my christian background. I was raised in a christian family and wanted to wait with sex after marriage. I was all along very much in doubt about my faith, and we ended up being together. It was back in the summer.
I felt really bad about it, and we decided to go farward, while not having sex.
In december it got to much for her and she broke up with me. I really think it was the circumstances and not just loss of attraction.

After the breakup i really started thinking about my life and my “living rules”. The thing is, i do not see me self as a christian person, but just living after the rules. I’ve been having a really hard time telling my family and friends about that, and i think that was what brought us apart.

I let har know that i wanted to be 100% in the relationship and that i also would have sex with her. She did not take me back though. We stayed alot in contact after the breakup. Both of us really sad. After christmass i wrote a letter to her, explaining things. I kinda begged and pleaded to take me back aswell. :/

We had a good talk last monday, when we went for at walk. She said she thought it was the right decision.
I went no contact after that.

She kinda snaps me. Not direct messages from her. Just what she is doing – living her wonderfull life. I feel so bad not replying. I’m really not that kind of person. I am thinking about writing a message where i say that i need space and time to recover and therefor i’m not writing back.
I just feel so cold you know. And nobody wants a cold dude, right?
Any advice? 7 days till now. She snapped me thursdag, friday, sunday and monday.

Hop you guys are doing well. (and sorry for my bad english)