Boards Reconciliation 30 days of NC completed. Advice would be appreciated

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Viewing 15 posts - 46 through 60 (of 65 total)
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  • #53372
    sri
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 117

    I told you platinum :p
    I told
    You were so angry with him
    But am glad that you are happy now
    You are motivated now
    This should be a sign that you continue on your plan
    He will come back to you
    I hope evrything goes well

    #53374
    Platinum
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 77

    I’m not exactly “happy”. I mean, this was the least he could do. The very least.

    I don’t want him back the way he is now. Before he decides to get back (if he ever decides to), he has some changes to do, as I’m no longer the girl I used to be, so his tricks won’t work as well as they did before. I was a hard-to-get girl, and now I’m even harder. I’m better than ever before.

    When we were in that talking phase before he committed to me, he had competition. He didn’t know that, but he had it. Out of all the guys hitting on me, he won. I chose him. I remember I was going through a tough time on a previous relationship, and then I met him. Slowly he worked his way into convincing me that he was 1000 times better than the guy I was with. Eventually that guy made me realize he didn’t love me as I loved him, and I became crazy about my now ex-boyfriend. I broke up with that guy and a week later he committed to me.

    Of course, that was then and this is now. That was the guy that got my heart. Right now he’s not who he used to be.

    #53376
    Platinum
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 77

    Now you may be thinking “you went for the rebound!” Well, maybe. I wasn’t really happy with that other guy. He didn’t make me feel properly loved. Actually, I’m happy I broke up with that jerk. I was just convincing myself that the stuff he did was normal and that he really liked me. Nope, nope, nope. He was a on/off boyfriend. Deep inside, my heart didn’t feel I was in a relationship. So this didn’t it make a real rebound. I mean, 19 months are more than enough proof that it wasn’t a rebound.

    I remember I had a date with my ex the next day I broke up with that guy. That date was very intimate for a first date. Let’s say that my ex is quite the naughty type, if you know what I mean. I was sitting on his lap, and while he was touching me (he was really in love with me by that time, he was going crazy), I thought to myself “Is this alright? I just broke up with him yesterday, and now here I am like this…”
    Obviously I didn’t let my ex get as far as he wanted.

    Memories. Just memories from a time I miss so badly, when I had my phone blown up with texts from him and I had that pleasant feeling of being chased, desired, wanted…

    #53383
    sri
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 117

    I know how you are feeling sometimes
    I just want to cal him straight amd tell him how i feel
    I want him to love me thw way he used to love me :'(

    #53385
    Platinum
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 77

    Don’t do that. As hard as it may be. Don’t do it. I feel like you too sometimes.

    You’ll just be painting a needy and desperate picture of yourself. That won’t attract your ex. You have to be a strong woman.

    That birthday message from him looked like one from a total stranger. Hence why I’m not happy. Sure, it’s better than nothing, but it could be even better. I really felt like not responding or asking him “What, am I stranger to you or something?” Idiot…
    Instead I was polite, showing what a classy lady I am and always was, and said thank you. And I’m not interested in prolonging the conversation any longer. I have to be in control. And so have you.

    You can always come here to let out your feelings. Or you can journal them. But don’t let him know how you feel about him or the breakup. It isn’t until you feel confident and over what he did that you are ready to return to him.

    #53390
    sri
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 117

    I am confident
    But its just that i want things back very fast
    I know it takes time to do that but sometimes i just want to share my feelings with him…

    #53393
    Platinum
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 77

    Yes, yes, I understand, I want him back as sooner as possible too… But maybe it’s better if we take it easy. In the long run, it may be better. Many things will be new. We will be different. Maybe more mature and stronger.

    Look, we don’t know what the future will bring us. Maybe it will bring them back, or maybe not. The thing is, we need to pursue our dreams and be optimistic. If you keep dwelling on pessimistic thoughts, you will end up driving yourself crazy and hurt yourself. So calm down. If you have a religion, pray. Do the things that you like. Work on being the best girlfriend he could ever have. You know what he likes, so you have the material to work on that.
    Your pain will fade away. It will, definitely.

    #53395
    sri
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 117

    Can you tell me the way i shoulf text him?? Like after first text msg i texted him 3 days after that..again i texted him after two days….
    How long should i take to text him…and when should i start texting him

    #53396
    Platinum
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 77

    What did you tell him in your previous text msgs?

    #53399
    sri
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 117

    I just reminded him of a particular movie which he loved like crazy amd he was so crazy that he made me watch that movie everytime any he used to tell me the stories and dialogues..we talked about the movie amd then
    I ended up the conversation

    #53400
    Platinum
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 77

    Well, that’s a start. At least talking with your ex isn’t awkward any more.

    Treat your ex like an acquaintance you’re in good terms with. As you progress, you can treat him like a close friend. Remember, though, that you’re trying to light up a fire that has already been put out. You have to be patient. If he starts to talk about the relationship, try to change the subject gently. This new flame has to be stronger than the one that faded.

    #53404
    sri
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 117

    Ya last i texted him yesterday
    When should i text him next ??

    #53406
    moonbunny
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 107

    Hey Platinum! OMG I’m glad that he actually did wished you! Shows that he at least still have some balls for doing that..
    Anyway it’s really his lost for just walking away like that. You can hate him or curse him, but it’s all just because you still love him deeply and you are hurt.. But I feel the best you can go is let go. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, it means you just let things go with the flow and not worry too much or how it may be and may not. It’s hard to explain but it’s more to a mindset that we have to learn to adapt.

    I feel that it’s a good step forward for you ! But just stop thinking too much and let go of all the negative faults. We cannot change them but we can change ourselves. You’re right, he have to work on himself too so you two can get into a healthy relationship together. But if he hasn’t grow up like you did, he doesn’t deserve to be with you.

    I have faith that true love have bonds that don’t break easily. It doesn’t mean that they’re not in your life now they won’t forever. Sometimes a break up is only an opportunity for both parties to grow up. You just have to continue moving forward and live for yourself. The right ones will come to you either is our exs or someone better that truly deserve to be with us. Not some sissy who choose to give up ..

    #53407
    moonbunny
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 107

    If you guys want to hear some music I have some recommendation :

    Moving On- Kodaline

    I just like this band so much.. their music speaks to my soul. I cried when listening to their music but at times like this.. music is our medicine.

    Tell me about it after you’ve heard it! 🙂

    #53446
    Platinum
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 77

    Yes. I’m letting go. I have to focus on myself right now. College is starting. He may talk to me when he feels like, but talking is where I draw the line. I don’t want to be friendzoned.

    Still, I love this guy. It is that feeling that’s holding me firmly on my objective. I was happy with him, he was happy with me, we can still work this out. So, like all other things in life, I must fight for what I dream of. Deep down I feel I have what it takes to conquer him again. I mean, I did it once without even trying, what’s to stop me from doing it twice?

    Let him be. Soon he’ll realize what a mistake he made.

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