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That’s what I was going to do anyways. I know my ex wouldn’t be involved. I was just amused and somewhat curious. Lol
Should I reply when he texts me? This morning he sent me an article about a guy trying to run people over on the path that I run on so I said thanks. But if he continues to reach out, what do I do?
Hey PAlmtree, he is obviously looking for ways to stay in contact with u and that article is an excuse to. Which is great, especially because I think u have possibly established that u are in control and your not in it to be friends. So it’s his move/decision from here. So I don’t think complete no contact is needed, if he is the one reaching out. Unless u want to completely push him away. What I did was always try to give my ex enough for next time, when she msg me. And politely ended the conversations, so I felt like I was in control. If that makes sense to u?
Hey pAlmtree, how are things going?
Nothing really new on my end to report. My ex waved to me yesterday. I was crossing my street and she was passing by on a different street a half block away. And she just had her little arm a going to make sure I noticed. Lol. Which doesn’t mean much, I know. I’m going ahead with the flowers and note on wednsday or Thursday. But I’m not expecting much.
That sounds sweet. It sounds like the two of you really care about each other. What days do the flowers arrive? Are you anxious? I’ll be sending good vibes your way!
Things are going just fine for me. You’re right about him making stuff up to text me, he sent me a bunch of pictures of his dog today. I was brief and friendly in my response. I don’t want to be over eager when he’s giving me the minimum
I’ll send them wednsday or Thursday. I haven’t decided. And I’m not really anxious, as I don’t have a lot of hope in rekindling. I am Doing it more to let her know I still care and will be here for her if she needs. And for my peace of mind, that I tried one last time. It is obvious we both love each other ….. She just has problems that I don’t think she has addressed and just keeps running from them. But if this can stir up the same emotions as she has shown in past exchanges maybe it will show her. Or maybe it’s the complete end …… Either way I’m prepared as best I can be.
Tomorrow it’s going to be a month since she has broken up with me.
This morning I woke up in a very low mood, pretty disheartened. My ex hasn’t contacted me at all yet and I feel I am really close to give up on her. I tell myself it’s ok to let go, but it’s also ok to still hope. I guess this time I am going to try it differently and just wait for her to reach out instead of me sending her anything after no contact period. I doubt she will contact me again, I honestly feel like it’s really over and it crashes down all my enthusiasm for seeing my personal improvements.Fishing,
I think trying your best to let go is the best thing you (ok, all of us) can do. That’s when the real self improvements happen. I clearly have been having a difficult time doing this myself, but it’s a goal. The emotional turmoil of holding onto someone who you aren’t speaking with is extremely difficult.
I am positive your ex will reach out eventually– curiosity gets the better of us all at some point, but I think you’ll be happier sooner if you start to imagine yourself with someone who makes you even happier, without the complicated history. If your ex comes back and you’ve moved on mentally, she’s going to come back to a happier you.
Hi everyone I have been thinking about moving on too. Yesterday was 3 months since the break up, he hasn’t talked to me, I’m still blocked on everything and he has a girlfriend. I found out they were dating on his birthday also. My friend heard him talking about transferring to her school when the second semester begins but he isn’t sure yet. And it is all for that girl too.
I figured if he is happy I should be happy. I’m sick of getting my feelings hurt and I just want to be happy again. This whole moving on process is just so hard.
Hi everybody, been super busy recently so havent had any time to read through these fully, so I apologise if I miss anything out.
Palmtrees I think what youre doing sounds great – he is definately just finding excuses to contact. I think doing what your doing (not being too keen e.t.c.) sounds like a great idea. Are you feeling any happier in yourself about that situation?
Soupy – Good luck with the flowers and letter. I hope it all works out for you. Are you nervous? I think its a very sweet idea and Im positive she will appreciate the gesture.
Catherine, I read a really interesting thing earlier. I will copy it in a message after this one!
I have moved to my new area, and start my new job tomorrow. I came home this weekend as I got a bit upset on friday – Turns out the trip that he is on, and that he told me I couldnt leave early (which is one of the reasons he said I couldnt go) was infact a trip which finished last week. Meaning I could have gone, he just didnt want me to 🙁 He has also been posting up photos of him with his arms wrapped around a DIFFERENT girl this time, one who is 5 years younger than us (he is 23, she is 18)…but as a friend said, she probably matches his maturity levels.
I did speak to a mutual friend of ours on thursday evening, which was super nice as the same thing happened to her with her boyfriend of 4 years too. Interestingly she agreed – she said my ex was very immature, always thought he was missing out on something, that something out there was better, that he was unsure on whether he wanted to be with me. She also said that she thuoght he didnt really understand people or ‘social’ things very well….which was interesting. I dont know. All I know is that now, whenever I think of him I dont cry because I miss him…I cry because he was so brutal to me, that he was so selfish with this trip, that he could so easily throw away a relationship with me because he wanted to have fun with other people…Its sad, but I’ve found a new strength inside of me and the thought of speaking to him terrifies me. He arrives back from his trip next week….Im dreading it.
Catherine8, this is the comment. I thought it was good for everyone though.
“A guy doesn’t want to be with someone who can’t live without him. He doesn’t want to feel responsible for your happiness. You are wasting your summer being heartbroken when you could be out enjoying yourself at the pool.
Trust me, I know it sucks. I have been there many times. It’s ok to be sad and it’s ok to be hurt. Feel all the feels. But do something fun every day just for you.
Tell yourself that he’s going to want you back and then live your life as if he still wants you but is out of town.
It sounds like you’re more hurt that he’s having fun than about actually being with him? If that’s the case then you’re giving him way too much power over your feelings.
Join a few dating sites. Not to actually find a new relationship but to meet new men and explore your options. Don’t talk about your ex on your dates. Just get to know the guys as friends. Enjoy the single life. That’s the best revenge and it’s actually the best way to get your ex to want you back.
He wants to think you’re at home crying over him. That’s going to make him feel comfortable and that he doesn’t have to hurry back to you. Don’t contact him. Go out and play. Build a life so that if he does want you back, you won’t be putting all your happiness on him and you’re fine walking away if he doesn’t treat you right.”Amy111, thank you so much for sharing that comment. I actually just sent that to my friend too as she is going through a break up too. That just made me feel a lot better. My friends mom actually told me that you should never let a guy have that much control over you. It’s crazy that someone can have so much control over you and you don’t even notice it. After our break up I really didn’t do anything that made me happy. But like that comment said, I’m going to show him and everyone that I don’t need him to be happy. Thanks for sharing it though, I feel like that could help anyone that is struggling to move on.
That I a great quote for people to relate to in this Amy. Good luck Catherine, I know when I started doing things for myself I really started to feel better!
Amy, I’m sorry u had a rough weekend. I have moments at time still too. But they do start to come less and less. The more I think about your situation and the more tid bits of info I hear, the more my opinion is that u really didn’t do anything wrong. In my opinion, your ex is really selfish. And I think he just made up stupid excuses to blame u for the break up. When in reality I think he did it just to be free on this trip. Especially not wanting u to come, his friend doing the same thing etc. He is obviously immature, very selfish and isn’t thinking about your feelings in all this in my opinion.
Soupy and Catherine – thanks! I actually have it saved in my notes because it reminds me and keeps me sane!
Soupy, thats what I thought. He promised me it wasnt because of this trip, but if it wasnt he would have wanted me to have come with him before. The friend who is friends with both of us said to me that he had very immature thoughts, and his worries that he was missing out on the single life/didnt want to settle for me was what made him so unsure of a future with me, which makes me really, really sad 🙁
But I’m now living a new life in a new town without him – it gets really lonely, even with my new housemates. But its proved i can do it on my own, for the better 🙂
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