-
Posts
-
I would write the stuff out u want to say fishingsky. But I would not send it. It’s good to get things out of your mind on paper I have done this numerous times. For what We think today, isn’t what We think in a day from now or week from now. We are all going through so much emotions it’s constantly changing. The idea is to start small after your no contact, not emotional letters or grand gestures. So I would definitely not send anything, for u might regret it and feel worse later.
I have already written and trashed several copies, never satisfied with the final outcome. I have begun few weeks ago, noting down different perspectives and emotional status. Although now I wanna write something completely different and I am not sure it’s a wise idea, I would wait a couple days anyway before sending. I would like to share it with you all but it would be extremely uncomfortable I guess, it would be like placing my naked soul under a microscope.
Well, the whole point of this is that we are unbiased and empathize with your positions. That said, everyone here is giving honest advice and trying to avoid sugar coating.
Soupy,
Since we talked last week things have changed a little for me-do you mind looking at my post and telling me what you think? Right now I’m on day two of radio silence. Thank you in advance!
Yeah, I have resorted to writing so much. It really helps to just get your feelings out, or you could just even tell us everything also. A week ago I felt like I was finally starting to get better and now I feel like I’m back to how I was at day 1.
I was just giving advice to my friend who’s ex broke up with her. Her and her ex were together for 5 years and she says he is her soul mate. She has never dated anyone but him before so all she knows is him. And I tell her that all the time. They usually fight and get back together in 3 days but he hasn’t texted her at all for a week. I keep giving her all this advice and she gives me great advice but none of us ever take it.
It’s funny how we all give good advice but when something happens to us we just get panicked.
I stopped asking for advice about relationships to my friends/colleagues weeks ago, because I know it’s easy to be objective when it’s not about yourself, no matter how close the other person that’s giving is.
Yes I know all of you here offer honest opinions, that’s why I follow the threads, and I am very grateful to be listened and understood without judgement.
What I meant by the way, I can hardly stay strictly composed when I write about my feelings to her. She knows this well.Fishingthesky if you want to,
You can write us little snippets of it will make
You feel comfortable? I think all of us have opened up all our souls a little on here-heck, I wouldn’t say some of the things I am saying to you guys to my family or closest friends…but I would say write out a letter, put it in a box. Don’t send it. Then, if you feel the urge, write another letter. Put it in the box and don’t send. You could look back,
And might see a recurring theme?But I agree with everyone else on here-I don’t think you should send a letter yet!
Nothing has happened my end-I moved to my new home today which was really really hard – I know no-one, and moved
Here to be closer to my ex and for my new job.His sister sent good luck to me too. I also forgot to mention yesterday-we spoke about my ex, and she mentioned how he is really REALLY loving the attention that he getting from a fair few of the girls on his trip, and that he likes that he is able to act on it now because he is singlea and whilst he is travelling…I’m worried that if this attention continues he will never want me back-it’s been 6 weeks now and he has 2 weeks left, and has apparently become really close to everyone..do you think that’s screwed up things?
I also want to say, thank you so much to all
Of you…this has been the hardest 8 weeks Of my life so far, and I feel that I have been completely honest with you all and it has been an amazing way to spill my thoughts out (sometimes a little too often and I do apologise for my posts sometimes as they probably sound very silly!) but yeah I just wanted to say how honestly greatful I am to everyone on here
❤️Hey amy111,
You made it all by yourself, good job! Later, when you will have your new job, new cool friends, new boyfriend (?) you will stop asking yourself why the heck you moved for (your ex)and you will be totally happy with it, at least I hope so. That’s what happened to me years ago anyway. So good luck with your new accommodation and neighbors!Sorry to be honest now, but to me it doesn’t look..well..very sensitive the way your ex’s sister keeps telling you straightforwardly those things. I understand that probably you two are in good terms and you are close, still I find it sorta weird, but heck it’s just my opinion.
I don’t know how much I will change my mind about the letter at this point. Acceptance and farewell seem to be the major themes. I will wait a couple days to think about it.
PAlmtree, sorry I’ve been a tab bit busy with work. So I haven’t been able to really get caught up. But I will try to today sometime. Just to clarify, u are only talking about what has been said on this post or do u have another thread going?
Soupy,
No worries, just have found your perspective helpful and more in line with where I think my ex would be at! Just this thread.
Amy,
You are doing such a good job! I am sure all of these changes are tough now because you feel like you are letting go of a lot but in a few more weeks they’ll make everything easier because you will be surrounded by less memories. Just keep moving forward!
Hello guys,
Sorry to intrude,
I always end up reading the stories of you. I see you all are evolving a lot and I have you as an example 🙂
@ Amy111 I feel the same as you, these were my eight weeks most difficult of my life, I never imagined it would be so bad.
But here, somehow we found the strength to continue strong.
Thanks 🙂
Fishingthesky I’m finding that with her too… I think she’s telling me because she wNts me to move on and not hold onto my ex because he’s loving life ATM, But I’ve told her thAt I can’t move on completely when I know he’s the one for me… But I might tell her to stop. I think she might be feeling sorry for me that I feel terrible about it and love him so much and she knows he’s having a great time and not really thinking about me…not sure whether to be offended or not by it 🙁
That’s a good idea, wait it out and see. It’s hard holding out out :/
Palmtrees I hope so! I guess I imagined he would be coming to visit me most weekends, knowing that he might not ever come and visit me again just wierds me out I guess
Hey Mister Handy,
How is going with you instead? Did you send the letter? Any new development?No @FishingTheSky …
I was commenting with others here in the forum about sending the letter and some told me that maybe wait a few more days would be good.
I do not know if you remember, but the last time I talked to my ex girlfriend she was very angry 🙁 At the time I kinda had sent a card to her more or less following the idea of the letter from Kevin, why this new letter will have to be different.
Anyway therapy is helping me a lot. Someone else here doing therapy?
I think I’ll do 45 days in NC.
mister handy,
I went to therapy after my last relationship–which was fairly emotionally abusive. It really, REALLY helped-my next relationship was a lot healthier (although I’m sure this difference has a lot to do with why I’m hanging on to something that’s over so maybe I should still be in therapy). I learned a lot about self-soothing-writing was my chief method for that and is now, with this group 🙂
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.