-
Posts
-
I am feeling a little pathetic that this has gone on for so long and that I know deep down I am willing to let it go on for longer–how do I really let go?
Hey Palmtrees22,
Don’t blame yourself because you felt like you needed to act diffently at the moment, it happens. You had to try.
Last time my ex dumped me, I broke the no contact period twice because I thought I had to make a move. I remembered I banged my head against the wall repeatedly after that, full with regret inside, but eventually it lead to her coming back.
Nobody can guarantee you that if you had stuck to the plan this would have worked out well.
You have feelings for him that you cannot hide and cannot suppress yet, they will probably remain and you have to accept them. Letting go is a slow process, it’s not like snapping fingers. Acceptance is the first step for sure but I am not going to lie to you by telling you that it will get easier soon. I myself can’t let go now. I can only tell you that suddenly, sometime in the future you will realize in the small things that you don’t need to hang on this person anymore, in the precise moment you will feel relieved.Yeah, I guess I’m not that upset with myself when I rally evaluate it. It wasn’t a “let’s get back together” conversation so much as my being honest about my intentions and lack of desire to wind up in the friend zone… I think it had to happen.
I had mentioned I didn’t want to pressure him and if this all scared him we could go back to not talking… He replied by saying it was fine and sent me some pictures to change the subject to something lighter
Yeah Palmtrees22 I think you have no choice but giving him space right now, he needs to find the motivations in himself again to work things out with you. He clearly shows he is afraid, he doesn’t wanna be with you yet but at the same time he doesn’t want you out of his life, he’s still hopeful for a happy ending.
Regarding myself, I had a good weekend, I definitely feel in a lighter spirit today.
Yesterday I saw a very pretty girl at a restaurant where I hanged around with my friend; she works as waitress. I wanted to stop and eat there, hoping I would have caught her attention in some way but the place was all booked and our schedule for the day was tight.
So maybe I am going there next week end to see if I find her again. I am feeling adventurous lol.His everyone, so I just had someone ask me about my ex and I and then he mentions the girl from the other school. He called her his girlfriend. I wasn’t shocked at first but now I just want to cry. It sucks because 8 months together and out of no where he ends things and 3 months later he just gets another girlfriend.
I am glad to hear you are feeling so much more upbeat and interested in someone new, that’s really great.
Interested is a big word, I guess it wouldn’t hurt though to get to know someone new, I will probably change my mind about it within the end of the week. I still feel my heart whir like a pencil sharpener when I see couples around me. I hope you are going to feel better as well, keep sharing what’s going on in your head with us anytime if that helps you, even the things that seem irrelevant. We broken hearted people have our own peculiar perspective of everyday life, we feel everything with such strong intensity now. I find it fascinating and heart wrenching at the same time.
catherine8 I am sorry to hear about that, I know how you feel Just be strong, this might not be a serious relationship but just a rebound. Focus on yourself and don’t obsess with wondering why he is with another girl, you can’t do anything about it. You can live without him, trust me, you can.
just found out he has been telling people that the reason we aren’t together is because I’m crazy. Even though it was because I didn’t put enough effort into the relationship.
Catherine,
Being young makes breaking up particularly difficult because with age, experience, and maturity people (ideally) become more considerate. You feel things just as intensely as an adult would and it doesn’t come as much comfort to know that “one day you’ll laugh at yourself for this,” but you will. This guy is a jerk and you deserve better and once you heal a little, you’ll find it unbelievable that you let him make you feel bad. The best thing you can do is to ask people to stop talking to you about it. I know it’s like an itch you need to scratch, but it’s hurting you and making it harder to move on.
Would you like to make a pact? How about we go a few days, I don’t talk to my ex and you don’t talk about your ex (except for to your very best friend and your mom) we’ll start small, with a five day challenge.
Yeah that pact sounds great. People actually just keep asking me about my ex because I know that if I were to ask someone about him I would end up like I am now. With people coming to me today just ruined all I have been working up to. I actually thought last night about how much better I as getting but it’s funny how just what people say can tear you down.
That’s hard. I’m so glad that I don’t have to attend class with my ex or see his friends regularly! Maybe from now on you can just say, “I think we’ve both moved on so I don’t think there’s anything left to talk about” an uninterested response from you will probably deter people from inquiring further. Glad you were feeling better this weekend, I bet five days of this and you’ll be back to that point or better.
Palmtrees I agree wth everyone else-I think that sometimes if the moment is right and you just can’t keep it in…you just have to say something. Personally, I’m taking a new stance which maybe you should try-go no contact (like give ALL the space, no casual texts as it sounds like he’s having his cake and eating it ie.having your attention but not having to commit to a relationship…and don’t assume you’ll get back together, and make it known to him you will not wait for him. How? Sounds brutal, and even if your not 100% into it…go out on a night out and talk to different guys! Sounds really silly, but with someone who seems to be keeping you on a hook-you need to show him your not on the hook, you care about him but you will NOT wait for him, and show him that other people are interested and find you attractive! That’s the route I would take hearing your story 🙂
Fishingthesky, I understand your worries/uncertainty. It’s scary when your holding onto your ex and you don’t know what they’re thinking, and then you see someone and think”wow!” And then think, but I love my ex….it’s a horrible feeling I find! And I have the same when seeing couples!
Catherine8 that’s horrible- it almost sounds like he’s trying to get your attention and make you jealous!! Which is ridiculous. I think you need to show him the strong beautiful woman you are-talk to other boys infront of him, laugh, always be smiling-but don’t make eye contact with him. Or if you do, make it very fleeting. He needs to know you are perfectly fine with him being with that other girl, and that you will rise above any horrid rumours he spreads!
I’ve had a nice bank holiday weekend. I saw my exes sister today-she gave me a present to say good luck to my new move. It was very sweet, she said how I was one of her best friends and the loveliest person. She also said her parents both missed and loved me a lot, and that they said “Oooh should we get Amy a present? We want to but is it inappropriate? ?” so I’m glad his family love and miss me. They also are extremely impressed and proud of me for running a marathon, so hopefully that will get back to my ex. I asked about my ex, and apparently he is amazingly happy and having the best time ever on his travels, which made me really sad in a way, as I’ve been heartbroken all summer and he’s been okay…but oh well. He is home in 2 weeks, kind of hoping reality without me might hit him then 🙁
By the way, not inherent to the topic, I wanted to ask outta curiosity, where are all you guys come from? I was born in Italy but I live in US.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.